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CURRENT COMMENT.
'Gifted but poor,' says the '''Advertiser'
in announcing the fact that the will of
the late Mr. Lawrence Tlma Xadema, tht
artist, has been sworn for probate pur
poses at £o,900. iiut aren t there many
ways of salting away cash without letting
the Government get hold of it? Anyway,
even if that sum were all that Tadema
possessed on his last day on earth, why,
reproach his memoir with it? There is'
no more virtue in dying rich than there
is crime in dying poor.
- * ? *
There are 1,179576 more women than
men in England and Wales. The census
discloses that the Englishwoman is more
moral than the Englishman, but in lunacy
and drunkenness the. latter is not neaily
so bad. To every 1,000 men in the lunatic
asylums there are 1,140 women, and only
403 out of 1,357 persons in inebriate re
treats are of the male persuasion. As
the preponderance of women still steadily
increases the birthrate gives no cause for
alarm. Happily England is a long way
off France's record in 1911, when the
deaths exceded the births by 34,867.
France has passed the stage when the
position is looked upon as gloomy. Gloom
does not express the horror of figures
like those. They are simply ghastly.
« ♦ ♦
AVhilst giving evidence in a case ill
which he sued a local dentist for negli
gence, a Western Australian tanner staved
that he was still unable to masticate fotxi.
and complained that he had to have den
tures tied in with strings behind his ears.
If he spoke the upper set fell, and if ne
ate he had to remove the teeth. — Perth
telegram, 29/7/1912.
Earants have been estimating
That the act of masticating
Is essential to a Ion? and joyful life;
And if health you would be wooing,
You must do a lot of chewing,
Even though the food is fashioned by your wife.
Though Dame Nature's missed supplying,
You can remedv by buying
Sets of teeth to do the needful biting act.
So & Groper, comprehending.
Head an advert, recommending
Some one's teeth, and took their statements for
a fact.
But whene'er he started speaking.
There would be a sound of creaking,
As those spiteful teeth would bite his busy
tongae;
And when he would be chewing,
Well? there'd just be nothing doing.
As the top and bottom sets together clung.
So he made a Fertbward journey,
And engaged a smart attorney,
To enter in a legal battle rash,
And although he lost the action,
Still he has the satisfaction
That be may retain the *ct cf teeth to gnash.
SEEBEE.
? ? »
Though the local Labour daily is un
der the direction of men who have gained
political prominence as platform cham
pions of 'the downtrodden employe.'
those who drive the pen and wield the
pencil in the Grenfell street newspaper
office do not apparently find the place a
workers' elysium. There was something
approaching a strike among the reporters
there on Wednesday, the cause being cer
tain remarks made by the chairman of the
board of management (Mr. MacGillivray,
M.P.) at the opening of a bazaar held to
refresh the coffers of the paper. While
it is easy enough to sit in the Trades
Hall and call employers to task in respect
to the treatment of the assistants of the
proverbial butcher, baker, and candlestick
maker, it is possible that the complaints
of 'the beastly working man,'' when, the
latter is a mere brain worker, who neither
wields a pickaxe nor twists tobacco, are
irritating enough when they add to the
difficulties of running s non-dividend pay
ing concern. Anyway, after telling his
audience that it was only the high ideals
and Labour iwinciples of the board that
kept the paper going, or words to that
effect, he complained that some of the
staff thought more of their sordid salaries
than of the ideals and principles afore
said. This proved to the hard-worked staff
like a .red rag to a bull. t An indignation
meeting was held, -which resulted in a let
.ter being handed to the management de
manding a public apology by 9 o'clock
that evening, on' pain cf the reporters
downing took. The more they thought
over it, however, the more sore they got,
and from sub-editor to office boy all took
things very easily during the evening. As
9 o'clock approached a body of perturbed
pressmen trooped off to the bazaar, and
paid theit. sixpence entrance, to hear the
apology which the remorseful MacGiVii
vray had promised. Mac did not actually
apologise, but he smoothed thiugs over
by saying that his references were aimed
at the past, and that he Jiad the greatest
confidence in the present staff. 'The
Daily Herald'' has b^n in existence less
than tvro and a half yeare, but al! the
same Mr. MacGiltivray's indictment is
fairly wide in its scoot. Up to the most
recent change of editorship, some three
months ago, there had been no fewer than
twenty-seven changes on the literary staff,
and the average has been just about kept
up since. In this total by far the greater
number of changes were the result of
voluntary resignations. Any recent fric
tion there may have been between the
management and the literary staff is pro
bably the result of the journalists putting
into practice those theories which the
board members publicly profess, and form
ing a union. The agreement between
newspaper proprietors and the Australian
Journalist jJ Association, winch is register
ed under -tEe Federal Arbitration Act, lias
been none too strictly observed, and the
'?Herald*1- management was, for that mat
ter, the last of the local dailies to sign
it and pay the wages provided for.
? ♦ ? ?
By means of an invention called the
optophone it is. possible for a blind man
(or any one else, for that matter) to hear
light. To any one who cannot see the
contrivance must, be just about as consol
ing as the smell of a cookshop would be
to a man who lacked the. price of a meal.
? ? ♦
The Early closing Act is affecting charit
able fairs and church bazaars in a mapn ».-
that possibly the framers did not origina'lj
contemplate. Tn answer to a question in
Parliament the other day, the Minister of
Industry indicated that he had no powvr
to either grant or withhold consent, to the
sale of goods at stalls after the ordinary
hours of shop closing. As any 'store or
tent in which goods are offered or exposod
for sale' is regarded as a shop by the Act,
the law seems pretty clear on the subject,
and is likely to hit concerns that are de
serving of help rather than of hindrance.
Brief cable reports indicate that in the
opinion of Lord Mtersey, who was speci
ally appointed a Wreck Commissioner to
enquire into the loss of the Titanic, the
third class passengers were not unfairly
treated in the rilling of the boats. The
cable man did not get more than a bald
statement to that effect, yet what are the
facts? Women drowned in the first class,
3 per cent.: second, 16 per cent.; third,
45 per cent. Men drowned travelling
first, 66 per cent.; second, 92; third, 88.
Children lost in first and second classes,
nil; in third class, SEVENTY-FIVE PER
CENT. Unless there is some uncabled
explanation for the last mentioned figures
they suggest that either Lord Mersey does
not know -what he is talking about or that
the third class kid doesn't count. No
doubt it is the latter.
?? ? ?
We've heard of some novel excuses, but
the following story from the Melbourne
'Herald' just about exceeds the speed
limit. A man lost his watch. It appears that
he met a cow going home, and this is
what happened (so. the 'Herald' says):
'Both man and cow converged at thefenco
corner at the same moment. The cow
pushed her forefeet into the young man's;
chest and knocked him down. Naturally
the young man rose hastily from the muij
died earth and ran. In his anxiety not to
miss his train he forgot to examine t h -
surroundings before he left. On reaching
the office he was disgusted to find that,
the cow had picked his pocket of his gold
watch and chain. Probably her hoof was
responsible.' Twang the lyre.
Now, Jones was badl.r battered
When at last lie reached his home.
His brand new hat was shattered,
1 And his watch' and chain had tone.
His coat was torn half-off him.
And his voice suggested beer;
But when his wife asked questions.
He boldly said:— 'Mr dear,
I'd rotten luck tliis evening.
I was badly treated, too,
By a. lot of beastly animals,
That should be in the Zoo.
First I met a little filly,
And slie made me bur- her vrine —
I admit that I was silly,
But I took her out to dine.
I met a lot of pals of hers—
An aviary of croote —
By that I mean to - say they were
A flock of thieving rooks.
1 I'd every reason to believe
I'd have a rare old lark;
But now I rcaliss that I've
Been bitten by a shark.
One brute we met assaulted me,
And with' his fist let fly.
I hope, my dear, that you observe
The 'mouse' beneath my eye.
rd really felt quite doggy when
For wine I said I'd pay;
Though now, I must admit it,
I feel a perfect jay.
I'm stony through those blessed rod.;;
Of me they're made a botch;
And, wont of all, that little cow
Has been and pinched my watch.'
? ? *
Elder Johnson offers to give £200 to
any one who produces satisfactory evi
dence of Divine authority for observing
the first day of the week as one of rest.
But why worry over the matter? Isn't'
there a general belief in the anti-Labour
ranks that for the labourer and tradesman
every day is going to be a day of rest
Boon?
* * *
Boyce Gordon Tregeagle, an individual
whose age might be anything between 20
and 30, has been causing a commotion in
Perth. The name seems to have a familiar
ring in it to this city, too. Wasn't there
an heoric piece of tracking done once bv a
boy scout named B. G. Tregeagle? It may
be only a coincidence, but at least the
names are the same. According to Perth
reports the gentleman came from Ade
laide, and started what he called the
'Universal -Wireless Company.' Boyce
Gordon then inserted a sixpenny 'ad.' in
the press, wanting 20 lads to come and
learn wireless operating from him. The
Tregeagle, with amazing cheek, registered
his company under the Firms Act, the ob-
jects being to "manufacture wireless ma-
chines and to give tuition!" Hiring an
office he filled it with sundry bits of fur
niture, and purchased coils, cells, a Morse
key, and sounder. A couple of sovereigns
would probably cover the value of the lot.
Tregeagle then appointed himself manager,
engaged a secretary at 15/ a week, and
waited for the pupils to come. Altogether
he got 15 of them, many of whom knew
more about telegraphy than the "man-
ager" himself. He "kidded'' the boys who
worked for him that he had offices all
over the town, and that he had been mak
ing £90 a month in Melbourne at his busi
ness. He told people that he was repre
senting a capital of £35,000, and next
minute was borrowing "bobs.'' He took
a fancy to a clock on show in a shop,
and made enquiries with regard to its
purchase. But the clockmaker had re
ceived the tip about him, and his over
tures were coldly received, seeing which,
he said grandiloquently, ''The central office
has not sent my money yet, so I will not
take the clock. Can you lend me a shil
ling?" Thc 15 who agreed to learn wire
less . telegraphy at £1 down and 10/ a
lesson are still looking for their deposits
back. That there are no bounds to his
audacity is proved by the fact that on
the occasion of the recent visit of Baden
Powell he sent a letter to the latter on
his arrival at Fremantle, welcoming him
to Western Australia, and got a letter of
thanks in reply. When Baden-Powell
visited the wireless station at Applecross
Tregeagle took his whole telegraphic stock
in-trade over to assist in the proceedings.
The police are at present investigating
''The Universal Wireless Company."
* * *
While, it is' 'to be hoped that
the Soutbstralian Government cine
matograph pictures Trill attract
fresh blood _ to the country dis
tricts, it 'in 'highly probable that they will
scare fresh arrivals from the cities. .The
views rJibwn it liie Town Hall yesterday
of street- scenes ii -Adelaide made the pla
cid city look a marvel of hustle and ac
tivity. If, as they say, it is impossible
for a Jew to get a living in Scotland, it
would be equally impossible for the slick
est of the slick from the old country io
grab a crust in a town where even e!io
errand boys walk at a six-mile-an hoHr
gait. The crowd who saw the pictures in
the Town Tall scarcely recognised lln;
sleepy streets that the rapidity of the
ftickergraph had transformed into verit
able avenues of activity. It was quite a
relief when the film took one into the
country to see the wheat grow and observe
phases of the industries that keep South
Australia prospffluus. The pictures arc
destined to be shown in Engalnd, and new
one comes to think of it the cinemato
graph operators over there may turn. tht»
handle a trifle slower iest the folk should
got a wrong impression.
? ' ? ?
Sound horse sense ?ae shown by Craw
ford, M.L.A., of the New South Wales
Assembly, when speaking the other d;tv
in regard to the prosecution of cadets
who neglected drill. It was going a bit
too far, he said, to promiscuously fiii-j
every youth who offended in this respect.
There were a number of young fellows in
his electorate who would have to go to
gaol next Monday if tbeir -fines of £5 wpj«
not paid, and they could not be paid tor
the simple reason that the parents of tue
youths did not have the money. Crawford,
with considerable justice, pointed out that
fining cadets that amount meant that they
were simply fining their parents, many of
whom, no doubt, have never seen the
colour of a fiver, in their lives. He asked
the Government to urge the Federal au
thorities to see that some other method of
dealing with defaulting cadets was devised
— something to deal with the cadets and
not with their parents. There is certain
ly no demand yet tor tbe cadet (system to
be self-supporting, or to be used for the
purposes of materially increasing the al
leady bloated state of the Federal ex
chequer.
? ? ?
In six years, from 1906 to 1912, tb:
Federal revenue has nearly doubled itself.
In 1906-7 the amount collected by the Com
monwealth was £12,832.891; last nnan»i-tl
year the total exceeded 20 millions sterl
ing. The most '''»jpt: thing is that dur
ing the period those figures were being
recorded the population could not have in
creased by more than half a million. In
fact, in the 21 years from 1890 to 1911
Australia's population has increased from
3,165,066 to only 4,556,063. If the Com
monwealth can get that much, not to men
tion the revenue .secured by the separate
States, there must be a power of money
finding its way into the cash boxes of
the odd four million.
$