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Some new epithets
for the MPs
PARLIAMENT resumes in the com
ing week and, since it is now obvious that
our Federal parliamentarians have decided
that the business of actually governing the
country should not be allowed to interfere
with the sport of calumniation, the best we
can do is furnish them with some new and
better words to call each other.
They do not know very many words
themselves and it becomes increasingly
ipecacuanhous for journalists to have to
report the same weary old epithets like
galah, dingo, ratbag, drongo and mug. And
so I shall do my best to swell their reper
toires but seldom, such is the slight capaci
ty of their brains, by more than three or
four words at a time.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll
begin with lycanthrope. To call someone a
lycanthrope or to accuse them of lycan
thropy is to call him a werewolf or, better
still, to assert that he is a person who is
insane and whose insanity has him believ
ing that he is a wolf or some other wild
beast. A bewdy.
To call someone a goliard is to compare
him with a member of a group of medieval
students notorious for their riotous inebria
tion. This would make a nice change from
calling someone an "old drunk" or a
"wino".
The Government's frontbench is rich in
myrmidons and it is high time one of them
was subjected to shouts of "You
myrmidon!" A myrmidon is someone who
carries out his leader's commands, however
callous, without scruples of any kind.
Finally, let us hear the chamber resound
to the accusation that someone is a
quacksalver. This is an ancient but beau
tiful word for charlatan.
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