Image TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage TileImage Tile
Image size: 5120x7168 Scale: 35% - PanoJS3
Page overview thumbnail

Article text

ESSAY ON THE EMU.
;BY SILAS S?ELL.
The emu a third cousin to the ostrnch on
its parents' side, and very much resembles
its relation about the digestion, which is
evrer impared by anything it can swallow ;
and it jibs at nothing less than a garden
rake. It is a native of these colonies, and,
in company with an inspired kangaroo,
represents our nationality. The emn is
pictured whistling " Advance, Australia," to
the kangaroo, who squats on his tail, scratch
ing himself and appearing to want a rest
badly. Emu flesh is not excellent eating.
I have tried it myself. and think that if put
through a crushing plant with a few hash
house chickens, they would make everlasting
good tack to metal roads with. Yes, the
flavour is rather tough for my liking, but this
is excusable when we take into consideration
the fact that he is mutured cheifty on old
nails and granite.
I boarded an iemu once. He was an in
tlresting chicken w?hen I first got him, and
looked like an old door-mat on stilts. His
youthful days were passed .principally in
huntine u ernlassware. lIe would rn-. sr_
gether a big. heap one hour, then sit down
and bolt it the next; and it was a picture
of thorough guileless enjoyment to see that
bird with half a iiacer. or the jagged bot
tom of a cream jug. working down his neck.
You could watch its passage right down to
his shoulders; then it seemed to drop off
somewhere, and its future was darkness.
Bridget was his name. I calledl him
Bridget because he was so like our hired girl.
The way they both got rid of the crockery
.was an ungroapable mystery, which I'shall
never penetrate till I nm flapping my snowy
wings on the great "on before;" then I
shall know everything., '
When he was about six monthti old lie cut
connection with chinaware and. old ;iron,
and evinced contempt for anything which
posessed no monetary value.' If he dropped
acros a rusty bolt during his rambles he
uwould pass it with his bill in the air once.
Nuts, washers, pebbles, and brokoni ink
bottles, and such like, were his sbul's de
light; but nowi he kept his fat up oil knives,
fonrk and risanr. nnA enn.-..,an a ._
nothing less than.a door-key. He wm ;very
fond of jewellery; and watches, brooches,
chains, ninger-rings, and all sorts of adorn
ments, wandered into his limitless maw.' He
rwallowed the works of a clock which I had
been cleaning, and when he got it down the
.pring let go and began to buz inside of) him
at the rate of 100 miles an hour. Bridget
tok a frightened look round, and started
tumbling and twisting like all possessed.
Then getting on his legs, he raced about the
ranl with his feathers turned the wrong
wara, ad hit neck stretched biut in frot?t, na
though lie was trying t6 get away from him
sell, till the spring q'ieted down, whlnd he
hid away in a lark place for Ihors. and liever
after swallowed attything which he had not
dirt ubiijecled to a minute examination.
I o."ny aw him disconcerted twice, the
ist iitatnce being thle one just nar
nrted; the other time was when he es
ayedi to get the family frying-pan into
him. He commenced with the handle; that
went down all right ; but when lie struck
the pan. itself he seemed surprised and
I!retched for it two or three times without
avail. lie was persevering, and tried hard,
but it was one too many for him, and lie had
to spit it out at last. Ho was disgusted with
frring-pans ever after.
When he was about three years old, my
mother-in-law came to lire with us. She
iaS a made-1up woman, and wore other
eople's hair and teeth, and thing.s it took
her two hours to build; and sihe had pads,
Ipailt. and nowder nr l n , .... .. .
bout her to l a theatric l taroupe. noShe
used to put her teeth in a cpl of irnatr to
suak all night, and the table Ihniplpened to be
just under her window, wlich she was in the
habit of opening curly'in the morningl and
then turning into bed again to read thrilling
love yarns. Well. Bridget got liis head in at
that windowm one morning' artid' curiosity
proempted him to tiy if those teoth would
lit his jaws ; so he took theni awayi. y
motlihurin.lan laid the theft to me. and
rhea, morning after mnoriiitig thine dis
appeared. what; 'was left of hier haid to koeI
in doors. and there was qoite enoitgh to make
my life a private tunatie aytntlui: After her
teeth Iher ear-drops went, ias. cell as the
iudia-rubber thlinu she lntd to swell' lier
cheeks out with (plumper, they call theta);i
tllell the pads began, to ugo?and at last she
caught Bridget lecvating with her tbet head
of lhair. and thhe whole affair,wans explained.
She got in . niew stock, and kept her wiridow
lotcked for the futu. tre. I iua sorry... If that
bird had had ld half a sho. hlie would, have got
vanav w-itll heir altogetlher, pice by piece; and
his life would not havre been liveId it vain.. I
ime time nlater, cireiimstanites Cbompeltled
mue to aasssinate Bridget, and hll' pa ed off
very well. lie had as inueihstock in' trade
al a wlhlesale fancy repository, aixd I rea
liedl enough out of him to tide .me over my.
diuliculties.-Australian iJt-Bils.
$