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POINTS.
(By Nbedlh.)
The
Boers , '
Are 'wiring in'
At the Tugela. ? That
Is to say they have laid
Barbed wires across the fords,
More mingled metaphors. The Cool
gardie-Norseman railway is described
(not in Perth) as a 'makeshift sop
thrown to a. hungry dog howling in the
discomfort *of an empty commercial
stomach. The chief merits of this lino
lie in its possibilities for the future,
when it may become a short rope with
which to hang the centralisation policy
of the Ministry by-and-by; a link in
the steel chain that will bind all the
jjoldfields together,' etc, A make
shift sop which can become a short rope
and a steel link simultaneously ifi
worthy of a special glass case in any
museum,
.1 . ? 1 1 1 , , 1 .
A Geraldton paper tells an anecdote
of a young parson, who remarked feel
ingly from his Jir'st pulpit, 'What a won
derful dispensation of Providence it was
which had designed the largest rivers
to now past tho biggest cities. 1 was
told some years ago that it was? a child
who asked its mother why rivers always
flowed past large towns, but this doesn't
prove that the parson didn't cay Bomo
thing of the snm& kind. It is a fact
that some years, ago, when the question
of additional bridges or subways for tho
Thames was under discussion, a Lon
don morning paper gravely announced
that .'Nature had placed a large river
in the heart of ouv city.' '
? ?I ? ? ?, ? ? ?
'With stately reverent trend Time
marches a-down the broad corridors
which are lost in Eternity. Yesterday
i« swallowed up in To-day, and Tomor
row is ever nonr, while yet remaining
a. something afar oft',' I have not 'had
a wire to Bay so.' I am merely quoting
from a picturesque 'leader' in a coun
try paper, The second sentence re
minds me of Corney Gra'In's parody of
the dismal drawingroom style of
ballad—
Next yenr this year will have passed
away,
Toi-morrow to-day will be yesterday.
The writer goes on to desoribe Christ
mas as 'a time when the -very angels
sing, and Heaven itself is decked out
think he was writing of a workhouse,
whore the inmates have a little trent
on December 25, and on no other day
in the yenr. Finally, the writer invites
his readers to make a right jovial Christ
mas over the wine and walnuts. Wine
is fairly cheap in these parts, but I am
afraid the walnuts would have to bo
'pickled.'
Here is one of the 'Things which
might have been expressed differently.'
It is not quoted from any Perth paper :
—'Personally, I do not think that a
more trained and talented number of
ladies and gentlemen than performed
here last nigh't could be surpassed in
feomo of the larger towns.'
I am glad to learn that 'in Australia
thore is neither proud wenlth nor squnlid
poverty, Tho mass' of the people
dwell in comparative comfort, enjoying
the rewards of ' their well-directed in
dustry,' Somehow or other, it is only
at festive seasons that these agreeable
discoveries are made. I am afraid
there' are a few people — let us say half
n.rirvznn ? in TJorrh who live not ill VJOsi
tive comfort, but in superlative discom
fort. I admit tha't there is not much
'proud wealth' about, especially in a
newspaper office after' Christmas'; -but
it does sometimes happen that a mnn
who has made a pile for himself is
prouder than the man who has inherited
his wealth from n long line of ancestors,
, , .it -? 1 ?
One- of the 'wants' of York is stated
to bo a band; of sufficient strength nnd
ability to make proper use of the ro
tunda in the park, Perth, the eityof
untenanted rdtundas, could do with
something of tho same kind. If there
were no charge for admission, no collec
tion, and no increase in the rates, con
certs in the Perth Pnrk would bo 'very
popular, especially if , cooling drinks
were supplied gratuitously.
A Melbourne paper is responsible for
the statement that at a Government
house party given to1 the State school
children by Lord and Lady Brassey, one
etout little fellow was seen to pnuse in
the middle of the feast. The encourag
ing smile of tho Lady Bountiful at once
fell upon him, and sho asked, 'What's
the matter? Won't you have another
tart?' 'Yen,' thank you, I could eat
more if I stood up,' replied tho
youngster.' Thin may have occurred in
Melbourne, but I seem to have met with
the stoiy elsewhere,
Fbur men (in Western Australia)
agreed to go fiBhing this morning be
fore breakfast, and they set tho alarum*
clock for 5 a.m. The alarum went off
all right, but 'the men stayed where
they were. Consequently there were
no casualties among the fish,
I .don't gunrnnteo this story to be
true, At a London school five boys
went in for n fipnire-modellinpr compe
tition, One boy made a model of Wel
lington, which was considered to be snfe
foj- the first pme, but. cm the evening
before the award, throiieh Rt-in,Q oriro
lep&ness in the packing, tho arm broke
nff at the sh'nuidorY Tho youthful mo.
deller wip weeping nt thin disaster)
when another boy consoled him thus!.
'-— 'N.oyer mind, ? sonny 1 punch hitv eye
out, .and make a blooming ^Nelson of
him.' , ' . - .
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