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A BABY SHOW.'
~ The Baby Show in the Exhibition Building
(say b the Argua of Octob3r 4) was opened at,
3 o clock jeaterday tothemuaioof Warnecke'a
Band and s chorus of several hundred voicea. '
probably the youngeBt choir whioh haer ever '
officiated on suoh an occasion. The building
was crowded both in the afternoon and
evening, and it iB officially stated that 30,000
people paaeed through the turnstiles. What- '
ever the infants may think of the Buocaaa of
the Show there can be very little doubt as to
the opinion of the adult visitors. On either
side of a high partition there ore little
stalls— if the term is permieBible— railed off,
in each ef which are two exhibits, with
the mother or nurse present in each case.
The whole of the main building is pretty well,
occupied by exhibits and exhibitors, and the
auite of rooms under the organ have been
fitted up as refreshment and retiring rooms.
The Judges, Drs. Willmotfc, Miller, J ohnston,
Williams, and Maloney, M.L.A., were all in
attendance yesterday in the capacity of
quarantine crScers. The prize for the cham
pion baby, any age or sex, will be deter
mined by the vote of the visitors, who are
furnished with a coupon for the purpose,
and as the visitors are largely ladies, and
most of them no doubt mothers, there is
every Burety that the baby itself, and
neither its clothes, its perambulator, nor
the sociable qualities of its mcther
or nurse, will win the priz?. Women
are not to be awayed by these petty '
artifices. The other classes are four
for each sex, viz., firBt, from three to Biz
months; second, from six to twelve months ;
third, from twelve to eighteen months; fourth,
from eighteen to twenty-four months; with
two general classes for twins and triplets.
In the former there are twenty-five) but in
the latter only one entry, and for some
reason this family party has not put in an
appearance. Leal it should be imagined that
a mere mass of partly animated pulp ia
alone required to win a prize at a Baby Show
it may be explained that the Judges will
take aa a guide appearance, biz?, weight,
symmetry, and health. Best of all, there
has been no apecial preparation of the
exhibits, no extraordinary consumption of
milk focd, or any other infant stimulant.
It would be a libel upon infant Australia to
say that the exhibits are either in mirth or
sorrow unduly demonstrative. They ohiefly
sleep and feed. The pick for champion baby
is already practically limited to half a dozen,
with representatives of East Melbourne and
Echuca holding a decided lead. The first ia
a baby with a complexion that suggests just
the suspicion of a roll in the spring sunshine.
Now and again, in pure playfulness, he partly
strangles his attendant, and then a likeness
to the infant Hercules, as seen in the
Fitzroy Gardens, is suggested— altogether the
type of baby that one would wish all
his friends to possess, and hia enemies
to provision. Visitors may be advised
to study the catalogue before inspecting this
baby. * Yesterday people squeezing their
way through the levee in front exclaimed
'What a splendid boy!' and the little
mother waa required to explain eveiy
moment that the exhibit was not a boy.
Then the lady visitors pinched its oheeks
and patted its hands more enthusiastically
than ever. The rival baby was a model
of youthful self-posBeseion. On the matter
of deBtiny visitors are exceptionally kind.
All things they speculate upon concern
ing the fate of these prize babies are
exceptionally flattering. Kepresentatives of
Ballarat and Warrnambool are absorbed
in -* baby of generous build who, it
ia suggested, may one day be Premier.
The Premier— who may not be premier on
Saturday ?— has red hair, and is trying to put a
number four boot into a number two mouth.
Premiers are required sometimes to do things
almost as heroic Finding a baby plaoidly suok
ing his great toe, and named in the catalogue
Brougham Loch, viceregal infant prodigies
are suggested ; - bntr, alas,' an appendix to
the catalogue explains that in this case tha
surn&me Brawn -has been omitted. The
smallest baby in the Show might be 100 years
old. The catalogue gives the age at merely
a few monthsjbut the deep lines of thought
on the face not larger than a good sized
orange, and the witdom in the depths of the
small black eyes, are Burely the signs of a
centenarian. ThiB is a Bolemn Daby — as
solemn as a baby of the Bize can be. Clearly
the baby finda his level in the Baby Show.
In the face of the 48 lb. country visitors
scoreB of domestic emperors topple out
of household thrones and become mere units
in the community. There is already Borne
objection to one of the Judges being a member
of Parliament, It is suggested that he can
not overlook a constituent, however imma
ture. It would, however, indicate a deep
fatherly interest in the constituency were
the candidate of the future to stop the newly
fledged elector on his way to the polling
booth with the remark, ' Why, you are the
baby that I gave first prize to. Graoious me,
how you have grown !'
Not the least interesting study in connec
tion with the Show is the study of names in
the catalogue. There is much food for con
jecture here. The prevalence of suoh names
as Phyllis and Dorothy are clearly reminis
cences of recent opera bouffe seasons. Irene is
a very popular name, for what reason is not
qnite clear, but the inspiration for Victoria
Centennial is obviouB. Falconbridge would
in olden timeB have become a knight riding
to rescue Etheldreda, who appears amongat
the cirl exhibits Imprisoned in a peram
bulator. As he can't be a knight herhaps
be may become a footballer. The many
Gordons and Stanleys amongat the boys indi
cate an admiration for heroism in all forms.
Orl&ndo may have originated in the admira
tion for either battle-Bhips or the Shak
Bpearian drama. About Byron Baulhsad as
Ubristian names there is some slight want of
haimony. Amongst the twins one looks
almost in vain for names with a significance,
Daisy and Violet are the best obtainable.
It would be interesting to know how -nany
of these babies are first-born. Information
en the point might help in many cases to
explain their presence in the Show, for it is
notorious that enthusiasm about new babies
soon wears ont. M ow and again inexperienced
visitors who may have gone to school with
the parents are in raptures about the. ex
hibit, and heroically Attempt to nurse it.
In isolated caeeB the names have the flavour
of predestination. A boy named Esme
Ormond Laneham, for example, can hardly
help being otherwise than beautiful. It may
be suggested that eome of the old placards
of the Centennial Exhibition having served
their purpose should have been removed
before the Baby Show opened. At the end
of one of the benches the announcement
appearB in large white letters on a red
ground, 'The attendant will take orders for
immediate delivery. Terms if required.'
Equally unneoespary is the announcement
upon a wall placard, 'The sale of exhibits
is forbidden.' Numbers of people want to
buy babies, prize or otherwise, but no one
has any for Bale.
The Show is under the management of Mr.
Dampier, who has already a smiling acquain
tance with moat of the exhibits, to whom,
however, be never speaks in his tragedy
voice.
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