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I LOVE HIM STILL,
Women in permissive Britain are surprised and delighted at the
way Mrs Stonehouse has stood by her husband, reports ANNE
MATHESON from London. It's what marriage is all about, they say.
For the loyal
wife of
runaway MP
John Stonehouse
marriage is
'for better,
for worse'
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Mrs Stonehouse beside her husband during an angry exchange
with reporters at a Melbourne news conference earlier this year.
MRS BARBARA Stonehouse and I were
watching TV as the news came through that the
British Government had decided to call off the
debate to expel her runaway MP husband.
It meant John Stonehouse would remain a member of
the House of Commons, at least for the foreseeable future.
I started to congratulate Mrs Stonehouse, who had
mounted a terrific campaign, lobbying MPs and gaining
sympathy in many directions for her husband to be allowed
time to return from Australia and put his own case to the
Commons. But she shushed me . . . "until after ALL the
news."
Much of it was pictures of John Stonehouse. Television is
the big link between Barbara and the husband she has so
fiercely and lovingly defended all along the line.
When the news was over, Barbara Stonehouse was ready
and happy to receive the good wishes and messages of
admiration that began to pour into her home at
Kennington, the London suburb across the Thames from
the Houses of Parliament that has grown very fashionable.
Modestly she disclaimed all the credit. Though nobody
would deny that her loyalty and clearly stating her view that
her husband was a mentally sick man, had gone a long way
towards bringing about postponement of the House of
Commons debate.
The Leader of the House, Mr Edward Short, gave two
reasons for the move: Stonehouse 's "right to a fair trial, and
his mental condition."
Barbara Stonehouse — who had all along been saying,
"All I could do was explain and hope people would show
compassion" — was delighted when all around her were
signs that the world is full of understanding and
compassionate people.
Her voice has come over so warmly and
straightforwardly on radio and TV that she revived old ideas
of loyalty and sticking to your man and reminded British
housewives of the day they married "for better, for worse."
"I think she is absolutely marvellous." said one woman,
who has become a fan of Mrs Stonehouse from earlier
believing the whole thing too ghoulish to even think about.
"I think his wife is wonderful the way she has stood by
him. I doubt if I could do it. Nobody could be against
that woman. She is so admirable."
Young women in a more permissive society have been
jockeyed out of their "take it or leave it" attitude to
marriage.
One of them in an office close by, who listens intently to
anything Mrs Stonehouse has to say on the air, said: "I
suppose that is what marriage is all about. You don't desert
your mate, no matter what."
Barbara Stonehouse, in her pleading for an
understanding of what she is trying to do, has come over as
not only a woman with a lovely voice, a deeply sympathetic
and understanding nature, but as an intelligent woman who
realises that man is not infallible — not even her man.
She says that in their happy married life together she had
never known her husband as anything but honorable, and
that what had happened was an aberration. "It is not John
Stonehouse as he is basically," she said. Her belief is that
one day he will become the same person she first knew and
still loves.
A psychiatrist spoke admiringly to me about John
Stonehouse and his wife and family, and the united front
they have put up to the world.
"At the present moment, John Stonehouse is a mentally
disturbed person," he said. "With such a person there is the
greatest need for sympathetic understanding — the
sympathy of their families, their friends, their peers.
"It makes the position of the mentally disturbed a bit
safer. Withdraw this sympathy, and the position
deteriorates. It is a fluctuating one."
There is no fear that Barbara Stonehouse will withdraw
the loyalty and sympathy she has given so generously to the
husband who does not stand so high in the eyes of the world
as he does in hers. "He has always been a good husband,"
she has said over and over again.
She has never thought of divorcing John Stonehouse at
any time, and has made this clear since the missing MP
turned up in Australia. But recently she was quoted as
saying that, though she had had a very good marriage all
these years "and it may well be over," she was not going to
let John down. "Kicking him now he is down has become a
national sport," she added bitterly.
Was Barbara Stonehouse really facing up to the
possibility of "the other woman" in their lives?
Pointing out that Mrs Sheila Buckley, her father's
secretary, had worked for him for seven years, their
25-year-old daughter Jane commented: "You would expect
that they would be good friends."
Mrs Stonehouse was the first to come out and explain the
flat in Westminster that her husband kept and in which Mrs
Buckley lived. "There was no mystery about the flat. John
rented it for ten years, it was near the House of Commons
as an office-cum-pied-a-terre.
"For the last two years he allowed Mrs Buckley to use it.
Sheila then paid the rent.
"I know her well. Went to her wedding. I helped her
through a difficult patch in her marriage."
Barbara Stonehouse has always turned a wifely deaf ear
to anything she heard touching on the break-up of her
marriage. Once she exploded: "I find the rumors our
marriage is on the rocks to be thoroughly distasteful,
offensive and utterly untrue."
"I know in my heart that John has been faithful to me.
Even though I know a wife cannot ever be totally sure —

SAYS BARBARA STONEHOUSE

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Secretary Sheila Buckley,
also arrested in Australia.

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"The moment he put his arms round me and kissed
me, I forgave him." This airport welcome was in 1959.

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Right: Mrs Stonehouse puts on
a brave smile for Melbourne.

especially in the political world where there are so many
opportunities for going astray."

There are some women who simply stand back
dumbfounded at the sight and sound of Barbara
Stonehouse, back to the wall, fighting all the way. "It is
quite terrifying," said one, "and rather beautiful, the way
she stands there steadfastly, blindly, and with incredible
nobility, defending him and declaring her love for him."

But those who understand what love is are not confused

or confounded by the Stonehouses. One of the girls who
knew Mrs Stonehouse when, as 15-year-old Barbara Smith
she came from working-class Hackney to get a job in the
offices of the Left-wing Fabian Society, told me how she
worked there, met John Stonehouse, fell in love, married
and never fell out of love.

Barbara, herself, confirmed this when she flew to

Australia, where John Stonehouse was then behind bars

last January. "I was all set to have it out with him,"
she confessed later. "But the moment he put his arms
around me and kissed me, I forgave him.

"I realised that despite this terribly selfish action of his, I

loved him still. And so it is."

In those days at the Fabian Society's offices it was soon

noticed that young Barbara, daughter of an insurance
collector, was ambitious and that she was learning quickly.

My friend said: "I can see her now. A bit frumpish,
lumpish, dark hair always in a mess, heavy dark eyebrows

ditto."

But Miss Smith learned shorthand and typing. Soon it

was "Take a letter, Miss Smith." Her Cockney accent was
never marked and soon it had disappeared. Miss Smith was

intelligent and, by reading hard and keeping her eyes and
wits sharply about her, she was soon a part of the

intellectual set for whom she worked.

In 1948 she married the young ex-RAF pilot John
Stonehouse, who was taking a post-national service course
at the London School of Economics, where he gained an
honors degree in 1951. In 1957 he was elected MP for the
Black Country seat of Wednesbury, representing the
Co-operative Society wing of the British Labor Party.

The Stonehouses had a life-style that surprised many
people. My friend, who met the former Miss Smith again
when they were both on the board of governors of Highbury
High School, recalled: "Barbara had been absolutely honed

down to a size ten. She now had blonde hair, thick and

straight, from that black and curly mop. The heavy
eyebrows were beautifully shaped, she was groomed to
perfection. And what a fashion plate!

"The local doctor, the vicar and the usual governors who
sit on these boards used to gasp as she came into committee
meetings. You couldn't help but admire the way Barbara

moved and lived.

"By this time, they had a family of two girls and the
longed-for baby son and lived in a beautiful house in
fashionable Canonbury. Just as Barbara had developed her
flair for dressing so, with money to spend, she developed a
real talent for interior decorating. She gutted that house and

it was a dream house."

The Stonehouses were to have several other homes later,
each one a reflection of Barbara's taste. Her feeling for
architecture led to a job to which she says she is returning.

"I am recovering from the shocks of the past months,"

she said. "I can get by very well in life. I am going to
support myself. I am going to carry on with the firm I've
been working for as a public relations consultant."

Barbara Stonehouse is a very versatile woman. Not only
has she been a liaison between the firm, who pay her an
annual fee, and the Royal Society of Architects, but she flies
abroad to officially open some of their buildings, laying the
foundation stones, handing out prizes.

In her own way she had quite an illustrious career when
her husband was at the very pinnacle of his success as
Britain's Postmaster-General. Yet she was always wise
enough never to allow her personality and her public
appearances to overshadow his.

The architects who employed Barbara Stonehouse flew
her to Sardinia, Cyprus and other parts of the world to
represent them. They built a whole string of smart
boutiques which she opened with a flourish.

Barbara Stonehouse writes for various papers, and as a
travel writer, would take her husband along with her — even
when he was in the Cabinet — making a nice, lucrative way
of life around their hobby.

He took her with him when he went to represent the
country at the independence of Botswana and Lesotho,
visiting Swaziland and holidaying on the Seychelles on the
way home.

"Yes, it was a good life," she reflected. "We were very
close. It was a good marriage. And in our years of business, I
never had any reason to think that John was doing anything
wrong."

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Left: John Stonehouse
watching his wife leave
the detention centre at
Maribyrnong, Vic, to which
he was taken after being

arrested last Christmas.

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Right: Mrs Sheila Buckley
(left) with Jane Stone-
house in Melbourne. Jane
was later quoted as say-
ing Mrs Buckley and her
father were "good friends."

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