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A PROPOS DES BOTTES.
; This t article' freaily has 7 nothing, to do.
.witli .its /title,/- literally ; or, metaphorically,
because/ it- is /'about what ' is. put- on the
boots, and it actunlly nrosc out of the
.oversight-/ of . Serapliina.
1 Sera phina ' is .our house maid,; as '.good'
as,' they , are jriade - nowadays— occasionally
a' vory present, help; and rarely , a cause
:of worry/ But ' she overlooked; the fact
that the Hide was low iri the boot-cleanirig
department, and -when I opened the brush
etipboard, intending to black my shoes,
und found/ no 'p'oliqh -iri" the : carefully
olearied-out tinj/I sighed a, sigh of resigiia-:
tion . deep nnd _ loud, and repressing! any
fluency.' of ' .objurgation, ' y.'hleli might or
might not :havc iboon 'condoned, I mildly
observed ; to -. iny ' ri'ife"— who looked with
sad arid grieved eye3 at '/Serapliina as I
said ,-.it-T-''Tliore, is no . polish.";.'; ;; ;
.Her reply 'led- me - to 'this article. Not
(liiee|ly, . of- ,coursci; / but' eventually. For
my wife/ ieba" woman./ "who possesses, iu
common riitli" Alexander, Jiilius Ciesar,
Xenophori, Napoleon and ' Mussolini, the
useful faculty 'of . cloar. speech with "a defi-.
nite . immediate -purpose/ that", may, and
often doc8, lend to an unlimited ultimate
objective.'. Ilor speech, was sirriply .thia:
'.'Well, "it won't take yori a moment; run
to. the shopj-and/ gct .a tin.'. AVe're busy."
They were,' an'd/I did. / ;
The grocer / had"' a number/, of clients
waiting-/ his ; inin'istratioris. /As , I entered,
one voiced - his. lopging: for "a tin of
Nrigwi."./ "BJack'. o/r tan 1" /'queried .the
wearer , of the." apron, from behind - the
eorinter.) . "Dark tarij" /was .the cryptic
ariswer. Intfigiiod;, I stood, waiting iriy
lurn, upoh /the /.verge of tlie /little tide of
clamoring/customers.. Iri niost '"things tliat
they, asked 'for "1 1 had no present interest,
until, as another demaiided , "Polish," the
patient .'guardian; of .the shelves responded,
11s if it were a litany lie loved, "Black or
tan.?" 'To' whom replied the applicant,'
"Patent;'" and 'ns /a ; round tin. 'cainc to its
-landing ;bcforobirn, in ..its trajectory ot
fljght : frbm/slieif to. counter,! further uu-
liurdcnod-his soul .with, "No, uot Nugwi;
give mc-'Kiwctl"
/.'I was . at length -the : object / of /the gro
cer's interested inquiry,.: and', for" the mo
ment. wc were - nloiie .' together.' "Polish/"
I- Said.; "Khvct /or - Nugwi ?" said lie:
"B0U1," I 'i'cplied. '.'"Blnek or tan ?" said
lie., "Both," was -lriy'.answci'. . "Anything
else.?"; pursued /he,- '..."What else have
you ?" ' -was lnyHrinocent .reply. I had
loosed an' ayalancljc. ' "Flour', mutches,
cheese, bacon/ eggs,' butter, -sardines, oat
meal," corideiiscd/milk,- staieli-—" he be
gan4 iri a monotonous -wail of enumeration;
"No, no," I; isriid.- : "What else in
polishes..?!'. Ho turned .'.another, .key . in
his. / iritelligeiice,/ and - fiom .liis stored-up
memories derived ithe following: — "Black,"
trin, light -tari,c dark tali, .'"patent '(leather,-
jvhitc, , suede,', ox /blood, -nigger ' brown,
bl'ow;i, . liquid ! dressing — what color: ore
tjie shoes?" ' ",'No, . no, Nanette,"', . I
hastily .replied, "p was, /riot speakirig of
hose,; but' of shoe . polish.: I niciely! ask
for- infprmqtioh.y Have you any blacking
'/Blacking ,?!'; su id he ' 'why, tliat is, what
you've got, '/isn/t /it/?". And li said, /'No.
il/nicriii' those sticks of blacking, three arid
a half,; inches long by an' inch 'wide aud
half , un. inch ' thick, tliat arc wrapped in
oiled paper, iiiore ,or . less squashed to-
gcther.. in -packing, so that- /a. dark and
murky ooze, has- burst its ccrehiciit, and
stuius ! the- hands. of /tho unwary, 'which
one puts, in .the o;ld ' amiccr that tho eat
never, uses, and 'stirs, with water and' half
a clothes , peg, into /paste. Then briskly
blush, -with grim, dcterriiinatibn, -and by
and b'ye a bloom of hrilliance -will appear
uppn thc'shoes."
The grocer, / most /cvidciitly ; struggling
between his, '.acquiredl/politeiiess towards
a custopicr— who npeared /to ne evei'i more
lucking in sanity than ukual— and- a' natu
ral '.longing , to , use/; his '/ slacker., -time in
weighing out mofc sugar, for' his shelves,
suggested liis -leaning/ towards tlie latter
occupation,,/ by clearing ()ie . scales for
action, and sjreeping the counter with
liis ripfOn.' -"Dead -as the "dodo,", lie made
answer. (He pronounced -it as a double
."do," the: ."do" that i-is a /synonym' for
"perform." - But no matter. / His meaning
in asserting (leadiiess was ciear.)„
'/"Quite dead,"- ho;,' went on: "no one
-would bother with that, nowadays. Polish
is- quicker and easier- 111 every wav."
-Then, growing; garrulous in the absence
.of other customers— it was evidently a
slack time; 111: his: day— lie ivent 011: "J
remember when it used to take much time
and elbow- grease, especially 111 winter
time, ..to get- a shine up. Two brushes:
one. to put on v.-ith — and it used to get
-hard and caked with the stuff— and 011c to
shine with — and it used to speedily lose
its - lmirs and hardness— and over all . was
.the curse, of hating the. job anyhow. But
I will say this for it, when it got going
jt made a great polish' lliut shone like
a nigger's fuce' in- a water melon."
.! Ves," . I . put -in, "and. do j-ou recollect
lion tlic boys used. to say it was made of
sugar and flour .and. treacle boiled to-
.gethev ? Once when -the . supply ran out
I> was fool -. enough to- put - these edibles
raw, into -the - saucer. -and' stir them: into
the. - fragments of -blacking remaining
.-What -a, moss: ! . And, . oh, /the boots that
day 1 ; Thriy . caught - everything and held
: it. , Fluff,- glass- and dust clung -like: lim
pets. The average boy believed strange
.things-, -about -v. manufactures 111 those
diiys." " ) -
'But/'. he. lushed into reminiscence.: too,
"sometimes wc . used - cold tea1 or vinegar
instead of water,, because someone, told 11s
..iti'.wipuld-.incrcuso. tho. shine. Our ' use 'of
vinegarwasn t encouraged, because- we iri-
A anahlj.; soiled -.the -.bottle, - and the maid
of: that .daj' -.gravely, warned us; first, that
she-, .would tell - our father, and, senond-
thut,; it would' rot ; the i leatlior.''-
"After -.the. old blacking/'. said-T. "there
cajne/ the square." bottle i of 'boot gloss '
It-had. acork with a" wire in it, and a
.small ; piece- of Bppnge nt the end, with
.which, to -applv -the ' gloss. - As -thc wire
, had to..he >long . enough', to .resell to: the
.bottom .of- tlie bottle, -.when tbe contents
.grew.- low, it bad several drawbacks) Olio,
tliat ..the -wire .- W'Ould:. bend if unwisely
pressed; the-, other,- that if /pushed liastil--
.into the full.- lipttlcr'it.;. xierfornicd like a
leaky -.pump,-: und -squirted - out uls ebony-
contents. 'to .i.lhe-giicvous marring of hands
and: clothing. :It:was caster- than, tlic awful
-brushing... 01,. llie /awf ul 1 -blacking, -but ii
had; no-other ..virtues, ;.und it -"dicd'Out to'
:maliO:Way.for- jiolisli.'"
"And yriu wouldn't - believe,"- said he of'
.the apron, H howA particular .some are about
the. makc..-.TtiB; pretty. well all /tlic same
-thing, . yet somebody- comes:, in -with, 'Oh,
giye, mc;-KiW(it;. I won't 1 have. Nugwi at
any > prico";-- while another, says,- 'Haven't'
J'.ou :any".rliugwi-?-; No, .Kiwet won't", "do",
thaiilis/. .And; if ;-you -.scud dark- tan by-
mistake -.w;ith , their orders, and they - use
it, -w ithout looking, -011 '.light tan boofs-
you .hear; about. lt- on '.-Monday,. : I can tell
you "
--He went- .011 in.- -sententious commciii;'
."Well, : there are 1 big -improvements 'all
round. There's no. doubt "of. that, iri shoe'
blacking, , at any), rate. Polish, ! on in a
Uioipcnt, a bruSli for a: second, -'a brisk' rub
/with a - rag, .. and , there you- are. Well,
it'a a nice day, and 1- think -the rain is
-all -gone." -Looking round- 1 saw that a-
woman had entered with jiurposc of order
.and/. purchase. /, He : turned to her, , saying
to:iuc'and;to:her. without- a brcuk between
the words, "Well;, good day sir and what"
loan. L. do; for you. madum ?. . So - 1 left
with. mj-. "black" f and '.'tan.'.'
j. "What a long time you havc been gone,"
said- my, wifc/ as I entered the ' house.:
: ."Ahout--30. years, .my- dear, " said -Ii
"Not; quite/'/ she replied. . But it was-
' Repoitci-i. - Xhey've 'just phoned 111 from
your./ house - saying tfiut) there :is a new
young, lady , afnvul there! Slnnaging Edi-
toi .fabsentiy ) : AVcll, dig up a. picture of
her in a short skirt, get a - snapshot . of Jier
ishaking. hands- -jvith. vtie .mayor, and 1-1111 a
two-column- interview, - with sketches, on
hcr imiiresynjjis ijf the towu. L 4 -
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