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INS1BUCTIVE AND AMUSING,
Lord Chaccoilor Halsbury was In his
earlier days a revising barrister, and an
amualng story of bis oxporioncca in this
capacity bas Burvived. flc was on ono^
occasion revising tho list of eleotorsj^
little out-of-tho-way fishing ^illago.'w^
boasted of bat sotne 700 inhabitants fltn
oonstablo. A fisberman, whose vote
was auoooBBtully objeotod to, became a
little nolsv, and consequently Mr Qardinge
Giflard ordered the oonstablo to
" remove *' blm. The man and oonstablo
disappeared together. Next morning, as
tbe barrister was enjoying bis afterbroakfast
pipe, be was told that tho
oonstablo wished to see him. Tho officer
was shown In, and at ouce enquirod,
"Please, sir, what am I to do with the
prisonor? Ho hopes yon won't seod bitu
to BBsixoa, although bo admits he deserves
it." Giffard was horrified, naturally!
However, be doterminod to support the
position with dignity; so he sect for tho
poor fisherman who had been locked up
in tho village gaol all night, read bim ft
lecture, and then dismissed blm with the
present of a sovereign, " hoping that ho
would behave hotter in the future."
Parisian bostoEeeB, over keen about
averting any possiblo chance of friction
at diDnor parties etc., bave hit upon u
novel motbod of pairing off tho guests.
Cu arriving in tho drawing room tbo
guests find two baskets full of flowors.
Carefully biddon among the blossoms era
numbered ticket. The men are then
reqoested to shut their eyes and selcct %
card frous one basket, whilst a similar
ceremony Jc observed by tho ladies with
the otberi The corresponding numbers
then look out for each oth&r and pair oft
for dinner. On tho faoe of it there ia
written success, but U is none tbe less
easy to conceive of ill-assorted conversa>
tion and decidedly bored guosts.
Airs Humphry Ward tolls a good
story illustrating the effect of tho vacation
schools on children. Pne bot day
August, a boy, evidently a rough cu^
tomer, asked leave to come in and see tbo
oarpentering room. He was given somo
tools and wood aod shown bow
to begin on one of the simplest models.
After a timo he threw everything down
in disgust. "Tbis ain't play— it's work.
Tm off." However, he still remained
looking on. The toacber said nothing. In
ten minotes he bad taken up bis tools
again, and an hour later, when the bell
rang for closing, ho looked up sulkily and
said io an injured voice, " 'Tain't timo
for sbuttio' up yet." Next morning
bo was ot tho door of the school half aa
hour bofore its opening, and bocamo
henceforward a regular and docile scholar.
The same boy, says Mrs Ward, would
probably bave remained tho promising
young hooligan he was when bo
came in hot for tbe lore thus spread
for bim.
When LI Hung Ch&og was staying in
London on his brief state visit, Sir Panmure
Gordon, the enthusiastic breeder of
collies, sent him, as s generous compliment,
a prize dog, valuod at £1000. Ho
was surprised tbat co acknowledgment
came tr. hand. Meeting tbe famooa
Chinese diplomatist a few days later at &
Mansion House dinner, be asked, through
tbo interpreter, whether His Excellency
had received tbe dog, and bow ho liked
him ? In reply tbe following words wero
translated to bim: "Ob, yeB, thank you
very uiocb. I do not eat dog myself, butsome
of my suite had him boiled iu o^Slj
aod fouod him very good I"
Tho old soldier stood on 'the doorstop
and listened, "hashing daj," ho
muttered; "no look here, that's pretty
sore." " I expect it'soaly aaofcher bother*
ing beggar— drat 'oinV muttered tho
sharp-faced woman within, as she hastily
snatched her head? from tbe steaming
wasbtub, auamarciiQi? grimly forward to
meet tbe base dio'.uuer of washing day'9
ancient rit c ceremonies. "If ye
please, mui ." muttered the ancient hero,
"I've lost my leg." "Well, I aln'b got
it !" snapped the woman fieroely. And
lhe door closed with an awful bang.
Sooo after Dr Creighton was appointed
to the bisboptta of Loudon tbe following
amusioginoidentoccurred. Mrs Creighton,
always an activo co-worker with bee
husband, bad been addressing a mooting
of working class mothers on their homo
duties, and overheard ono of thorn thus
commentiog to bor gossipYoe, 'twas
all very fine; she's a oioo lady and a first;
class speaker. But I should like to ask
ber this: ' What docs she do when old
Croigbton comes boma drunk'?' It is
also authentic, that this tale was told to a
very eerious clergyman of tbo London
d;oo6se. His faoo grew vory long, and ho
asked in sepulchral tones, " But, does tho
Bishop over come home —- P"
A writer, who was fond ol anathematising
the iong-winded methods of lawyers,
ouce perpetrated the following:—If a
man woro to give another an orange he
would cprely say, " I give you this
oracgo." But whon the transaction ie
eatrasted to a lawyer to put into writing,
be adopts this form: " 1 hereby give,
grant, and oonvey to yon all and singular
my estato and interest,right, title, claim,
and advantage ol and in tbe said orango,
together with all Us rind, skin, juice, pulp,
Wd pips, and ait right aod advantago
thoroin, with full power to bite, cut, sack
and otherwUo eat the same, or give tho
same away as fully or effectively as I,
tbo said A.D., am now entitled to bito,
cut, suok, or otherwise eat the same
orange, or give ths same away with or
Without its rfcod, skin, juice, pulp and
pips, anything hereinbefore or herein*
after, 0r in any other deed or deeds,
instrument or instruments, of what
Datnre or kind soever to the contrary ia
any WIBQ notwithstanding/'
Mr Russell Sage, the millionaire wbo
denounces holidays for employes as
robbing employers, was once asked to
subscribe to a charity. As he bad never
glvenaoeot tbe list was banded him, and,
seeing bis wife's name down, he calmly
added Mr and Mrs opposite his wife's
contribution. This reoalla a somewhat
similar experience with tho Australian
millionaire, tbe late James Tyson. A
society lady oame to him (ot a subscription
for «omi> charity. Bbo was elated to
6.0 him, withoqt any demur, write a
cheque. Which he handed her, tor £50.
" Ob, Mr Tyson," Bald the nnsalisfiel
ope, " von might have added another
naught I" Give me baok the cheque,
madam," and with hii pen eoratchod out
THS°AD°J 8 £
° "
5 0OL
'
L «P"
Mr Tree, In the course of an interview
° D u„'u\ - s0bjml of "Oliver Twist, 1 '
published TU a recent la™ of tbe "Jowi.b
Ohronlelo," tolls the following quaint
Jtorj-: Speaking of Us „graat ,dmit(lUoD
lor the Jewish character and the various
attilbntes which combine to make It what
t
J?"
b »' he once knew a young
man whose name was Wilkinson. "Ho
name from tbe Midlands," soys Mr Tree,
eurav&gantly AugloBaw».
zj , ba * J 0 ' "oeceeded in life, and came to
me for advice as to what he should do. 1
eaid, ' Change your name la Moses, and
see what happens.' Within three yean
he was a millionaire."
™^8.J , " 1 ?„ l J" ,0 V lm,,1 6> : AnS II yon
come JQ tbe ohiMren'e meeang to-morrow
W'yon wni hoar pl>°lhe 0
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