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T H E W Q V E M S T ,
NEVER S NEVER!i NEVER!! !
OR.
THE PINCERS OF THE WKETCHED
PREMIER
By T. C.
CHAPTER XII.
" No, tlm hallowed form is ne'er forgot
Which first love traced."
EVERYONE in the House was wondering what had bccome of Jenny
Gauncoon. There were scenes taking place in which her soul would
have fairly revelled. Almost every man called every other man a
liar once at least ill the course of the debate* ; the clerk was
requested to take down every second word that a speaker used; there
was swearing going on that would have made bullock drivers rick
ith envy; Paul Lawless held possession of the lobbies, and bonneted
very small member who attempted to make his way to the
inisterial benches; and the Chairman, from looking at so many men
who had been drinking, felt "himself growing red in the face, unsteady
n his gait, and thick in his speech to an extent that laid him open to
trong suspicions of having becornc a teetotaler.
And still with all these attractions Jenny was absent, and her
riends were at their wits' ends to account for her loss.
" At this moment perhaps," suggested Munchausen in his maddest
anner, " the miserable Premier may be tearing her tongue out by
he roots in one of the dungeons ef the Parliament House,"
" I wish ihat was all," sneered Shortles6, " we could all survive the
oss of her tongue, but—" and here he paused.
" But what, Sliortless ?" said Beery. " Say out like a man the
orst you fear."
" I read a pome to-day in the libery," whispered Shorties?: to his
hief, " in which I seen these lines:
Spare her the inexpiable wrong, the unutterable shame,
That turns the coward's heart to steel, the sluggard's blood to flame.'
ill the Premier spare Jenny, think you, if he has her at his
ercy ?"
* * * # # *
" Sir," said Mr. Beery to the chairman, " I wish to call the attention
f this House, and of the country, to the infamous treatment which
y friend Mr. M'Blunt is receiving at the hands of the Government.
his fragment of bread is a sample of the food which my friend is
iven to eat, and this small fish is all that remains from his dinner
o-day. Is that, I ask, the proper way to feed a man nearly seven
eet high ? Give him hard labour, if you like, but give him food
nough upon which to'sustain a nature like his."
" I really can't see," interjected the Hon. Mr. M'Monkey, " what
he hon. member has to complain of. He followed you for the sake
f the loaves and fishes, and even by your own account he seems to
ave them."
A debate (see dictionary) of haif-an-hour here took place to see
hether Mr. M'Monkey's words should be taken down, which ended
n the hon. gentleman withdrawing his remarks, and then repeating
hem in a much more offensive form. This was looked upon as a
ictory by the Opposition, and Mr. Beeiy was about continuing his
speech in reference to the treatment of Mr. M'Blunt, when the Chairman
informed him that he had just been told by the sergeant-at-arms
that in future the prisoner would have a whale a day provided for his
own use. Even the Opposition had to confess that this was handsome,
and the Government iu great glee thought there was a chance
f a little work being attempted, when M'Monkey cried in a stage
whisper across the House—
" M'Blunt will be able to blubber now to his heart's content."
Which profound remark stopped the business of the country for
another half-hour, till the hon. offender restored order by assuring
the Chairman that he hadn't the slightest meaning in what he said.
* DEBATE.—A discussion held for the purpese of elucidating truth; argument or
reasoning between persons of different view's, each seeking to bring the others round
to his belief.—Dictionary.
CHAPTER XIII.
" Nothing in her public life became her so much as leaving it."
AT 1.45 a.m, on the morning of Friday, the 17th March, in the year
of our Lord 18 , Gayman Beery, the great statesman, was slowly
divesting himself of his clothes preparatory to seeking the rest that
his labours in the cause of the people rendered so necessary for the
preservation of his health. His reflections were very bitter. The
words of Short less were like barbed arrows in his soul. He suspected
Jenny, he suspected the Premier, he suspected everybody. " If I could
only have her openly locked up for contempt," he muttered, " it would
make Uiings between us all right again. I would spend ray days
with her in her prison, and my nights in wandering about on the
leads hand in hand, and heart to heart. Can M'Mullock have got
at her ? Where was she all the evening 1 What attraction kept her
absent from the scenes of this night ? Ha! What noise was that?"
he cried, as he heard a rattling as of pebbles against his window
pane. He threw open the window and looked out.
" Gayman," whispered a muffled figure in the street, " I must see
you at once oil urgent business."
" That's her," cried Beery, unconsciously plagiarising the exclamation
of the monks, when they saw the Jackdaw of Eheims. "Come
up, Jenny—my room is No. 14."
Miss Gauncoon entered the hotel, and made for lier lover's room.
She could have done so in the first instance, but she thought it would
have been a commonplace proceeding.
On seeing Beery she threw her arms round his neck, and laughed
hysterically. " I have found him, Gayman," she cried, " I bring you
news of the captive. Tell me now," she continued archly, as she
threw off her cloak, " would you ever have recognised me in this
dress ?"
The statesman looked at the girl, and was compelled to acknowledge
that he would not. She was dressed in flesh-coloured tights,
covered with a mass of spangles and glass jewelry, and her face and
hauds were grimed with the discharge of gunpowder.
" What ihe mischief have you been up to, Jenny, and who have you
found? " asked the statesman in au impatient tone.
The girl told him everything. How she was resolved to find out
where M'Blunt was confined; how she had for this purpose become
au Australian Blondiii; and how from her position on the tight
rope she had that day with the help of a glass discovered the captive
on the leads of the Parliament House, weeping bitterly as he looked
at the people enjoying their freedom.
'•' But. Jenny," said Gayman with a smile, patting the innocent
young thing on the head as he spoke, " this is old news. I knew all
the time where he was, and he escaped to-night."
" Escaped ! and without my assistance," gasped Jenny.
" Certainly, llead this;" and he handed her a large placard, which
Miss Gauncoon proceeded to read.
none Help
AND BOBBEBY.
GAOL BREAKING
£100 BEWASD.
S8U Imtas one Jimmy M'Blunt has escaped from legal custody,
and taken with him a valuable historic relic, commonly known as the
Canterbury chair, which was allowed to him to beguile the tedium
of his captivity : This is to give notice that any one who can induce
the said Jimmy M'Blunt to return to the custody of the sergeant-atarms
will receive from the said sergeant the sum of 10 per cent, on
all the fees that may be received from the prisoner on receiving his
discharge. It is supposed that he will make for the Hibernian sports
some time in the course of to-morrow. Description.—Canterbury
chair: Very much worn, springs broken, two (2) castors oft', fifty (50)
brass headed nails out, Mr. M'Blunt: Long in person, but short in
temper: boorish in manners (if any) ; great appetite; suspected of
having eaten the chair; given to weeping on slight provocation, and

swearing on none ; associates with disreputable company, and makes
them worse. If be will only return them to the custody of the
sergeant-at-arms all will be forgotten and forgiven. Fresh fish
to-morrow. 16th March.
VIVAT REGINA !
The girl buret' into tears when she had finished reading the
proclamation.
"Gayman," she said, "I fear my career has been a mistake. I
sought to do you service, and the result is that I only get laughed at
for my pains, and bring you into ridicule likewise. I will abandon
politics."
" Say not so. sweet girl," exclaimed her lover, all his old feelings
reviving as he ran his hand through her close cropped hair. " You
liave ma ie a name for yourself in the history of your country tliat
will not readily be forgotten. What will you devote your talents to
if you give up public life ?"
" I think," said she sadly, " that I would like to be a girl-boy. The
boy-girl has been a great success. I feel capable of emulating her."
" But you have a duty to discharge to society," urged Beery,
waxing hot as she appeared to wax cold. " You are the only female
in the novel of Never. Never, Never. If you retire into private life
the novel must be abandoned ; there will be no heroine left."
" Even that will not tempt me," she cried. " I shall be sorry to
take the bread out of a literary man's mouth, hut my mind is made
up. I retire."
" In which case." said Mr. Gayman Beery, " the only course open
to me is to announce that from this day and for evermore I renounce
the character of a hero. Without either a hero or a heroine I would
respectfully submit to the novelist that he had better bring his story
to a finish."
Which advice we accept without a murmur, and with even a feeling
of pleasure write the words— THE END.

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