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ROTTERDAM, Sunday (AAP-Reuter'). — The Liberal newspaper Algemeen Dag
blad reported yesterday that Indonesia wan ts to join the British Commonwealth.
Bung Karno MBE
^FHE reason for
Britain's ready
acquiescence to Indo
nesia's request to join
the Commonwealth is
that Mr Wilson wants
President Sukarno's
advice on solving
England's balance of
payments problem.
Sukarno's genius for obtain
ing overseas credits when his
own country is seemingly
bankrupt has long intrigued
Mr Wilson who would like to
offer Sukarno a Cabinet post
in his government.
Mr Wilson thinks that
Sukarno's brand of rhetoric,
bluster and showmanship is
just what is needed in Britain
to bring success to Labour's
Wages and Incomes Policy.
Mr, Wilson believes that
Sukarno might be a more
stable influence in the Cabinet
than the volatile Mr George
Brown who was moved (o the
Foreign Office last week.
Sukarno himself has let it be
known that he is willing to
accept the post of Chancellor
of the Exchequer.
Sukarno is eager to get to
swinging London while the de
cadence lasts, because General
Suharto and Mr Malik
haven't left him much to do
in Djakarta.
He is particularly looking
forward to being received at
the palace and meeting the
teenage Princess Anne.
Sukarno would like to mark
Indonesia's entry into the
Commonwealth by taking an
other—English—wife. He has
had his eye on Jean Shrimpton
and the schoolgirl model
Twiggy, for some time, but he
is not particular—anything in
a mini-skirt will do.
none Help
V
Mem
The President, having failed
in confrontation with Malaysia
is pretty well at a loose end.
He has already turned down
several tempting offers from
an international advertising
agency impressed by his
facility for coining slogans.
A big soap account could have
been his for the asking ("Mer
deka the only detergent that
really crushes dirt from all
your coloureds"). '
But Sukarno wants more of
a challenge, something that
would make a more lasting
impression on posterity than
his former roles of Lifetime
President, Saviour, Father of
Freedom, etc. He would like
to go down in history as the
man who got Britain into the
Common Market.
Besides in the prevailing
political climate in Djakarta,
he thinks a long European
holiday might add years to his
life.
His plan is simple.
First he would take over
Britain's pirate radio stations
and use them to beam anti
de Gaulle tirades at France.
Then at public rallies in
Trafalgar Square, Wembley
Stadium and at Ascot he
would denounce COM1NCO
(Common Market Imperialism
and Neo-Colonialism) and call
for the crushing of EURO
VlSfSM (Bardotism, de
Gaullism, and Zurich
Gnomism).
A body for the Promotion
of Sevenism (that is, Britain's
acceptance by the other the
six in the EEC) would co
ordinate Sukarno's aims at all
levels of British society.
Through the BBC (and with
Mr.\Vilson's support) Sukarno
hopes to create Ranljasila in
Britain — a truly national
ideology embracing God, the
monarchy, socialism, conser
vatism, anarchism, Churchill
ism, the RSPCA and August
Bank Holiday.
Then placing himself at the
head of RELLBSWNAVL (a
unified British command com
prising Rovers, Empire Loyal
ists, Liberals, Boy Scouts,
Welsh Nationalists, and the
Anti-Vivisection League) he
would officially proclaim con
frontation of the Common
Market.
"Only by beating them, by
destroying once and for all the
concept of Sixism can we pro
mote the cause of Sevenism",
said Sukarno.
Sukarno added that he will
die a happy man if he can
get an MBE like the Beatles
and a uniform like the one
worn by the Lord Warden of
the Cinque Ports.
$