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1 correction by peter-macinnis - Show corrections

?i \ A 1 i I I t 111!

[?]

WHEN you're tot-   ting up the scores   in the Miss No     Hoper 1948 Contest   don't overlook the       claims of a city typist.     Sending out invoices the  

other day, she addressed   one to 'Messrs. What name Hardware' — just   like that; no street, no suburb, no anything. Even to her tolerant eye the en- velope looked just the   tiniest bit bare so, as an   afterthought she stuck a penny stamp, upside   down, in the bottom left   hand corner. | A little bewildered by all this, the P.M.G. boys   put their postmark and a   slogan about bushfires on the back of the envelope,   leaving the stamp (on the   other side) uncancelled. But the postman always gets his man, and the let- ter duly arrived at the right spot.   At this stage the no hoper influence crept in   again. When Mr. What- name opened the enve- lope, out tumbled some body else's invoice. * * * DON'T kid yourself that you've won Charities or any portion thereof un- ' til you've checked ..^ r^ double checked your tic ji keL . . ' - There's a fellow wan- '; dering around this town ' right now with a wild look in his eye all be- - cause of his failure to', observe this simple rou tine. He's a regular investor in sweeps, and always ha? a fair selection of ticket sf on hand. Looking througK an old paper he saw re-j suits of draw No. 403 and( spotted his ticket number.^ He dashed in to collect, ? and found his ticket wast, for lottery 404. ]' ' Frustrated, but not de-| l feated, he went home, I/ searched his tickets, andJL found a number that .-oin-jT. cided with one in the 40 f sweep. He returned in ' triumph to- the pay-out   place, presented his tic-''- ket and got knocked bacfcf\

again. It was tor lottery ^ 403. | THE visitor looked at his watch, shouted a   few garbled words of farewell, and shot   through like a Bondi tram,   leaving behind on the   hallstand an ancient hat   which had protected his head from boyhood to middle-age. A tidy housewife, pick-     ing it up with a pair of   tongs or something, stow- ed it in that elastic-sided cupboard we all have on the back verandah. It only remained there for a day, because the head of the house want-   ed something old and un-   spoilable for a fishing hat, and selected it as the   ideal wear for North   Beach jetty.   There the Fremantle Doctor rudely snatched it   from his head and tossed   it into the Indian Ocean.   The victim of this mis- fortune phoned me and asked me to break the     news gently, because un-     till the time he reads this, the real owner,   doesn't know that he'll never see his hat again.   9 ? # TTQUINE GIGGLE: A n( ; *~* port that shook Be}t mont over the weekeiv\ was about the horse thai 'broke its near offside fel lock and had to be tit stroyed.' Anyway, i couldn't have survived fo long in that acute state o - nhitsinaj confusion. \[ ,

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