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3 corrections, most recently by sdgard - Show corrections

SPARKS

Garrany has elevated Hornby, the Lan- cashire cricketer, into an Admiral-or it would be more proper to say that Garran's cricketing commissioner hid. In describing the Australian's match with Lancashire, that gentleman reterred to Hornby's " admiral capataincy.''    

Dummying has an apologist in that liberal, freethinking, rational, and patriotic publica- tion called the Evening Times, which is manufactured somewhere down Parramatta way. Here's another case of camel swallow- ing.

Is it another small pox scare they're trying to get up? Surely, if it is necessary to re- move a man and his family to Little Bay simply because the former has an eruption which our medical skill ca not diagnose, it is just as necessary to remove a parson having a flushed face as indicative of fever. One is

tempted to ask who'll pay for the man's loss  

of time etc ?   I

Medical skill indeed! a medical genius is a   rara avis in these days, when every other man you mean is a doctor or a lawyer. 'Twas only the other day, a chemist, apothecary, or something of the sort, confessed that he didn't

know the difference between "Essential Oil   of Almonds," and " Sweet Oil of Almonds" —thought thev were the same, in fact ; and yet that man was certificated by a Queens- land Medical Board. The question is were they competent.

Judge Docker was hauled up before the Beaks the other day at Parramatta, by a smart official—who the judge thought was extra officious, in not allowing his dignity to break a Municipal By-law. The magis- trates, for their honour, couldn't see why a judge should break the law any more than other people and ordered his judgeship to ante up ten Roberts, and four and a half

more in costs.

Our genial and cultured Vicar of Richmond entertained the Parramattans the other night by a learned dissertation on " Books, their Origin and Progress," which many, both in Windsor and Richmond, would like to hear repeated in either town.

If notoriety be the great organizer's objec   he should, just now, have a surfeit; for has   he not claimed the attention of a Reid, a McElhone, an O'Connor, besides the whole of the Press, and letter writers by the dozen ? There must be something scrump- tiously good, or awfully bad in a man that   can thus be immortalized in the Bulletin, and caricatured in Punch.

Everybody has read or heard of the Rev. Joe Cook ; and his lectures on Biology, Transcendentalism, Heredity, Marriage, etc., etc., are lipsed out by every sucking dog- matist. But how many of the small fry have ever troubled to read Dr. Renwick's "Realms of Knowledge, and the Realms of Faith," a

lecture as superior to all that Cook ever wrote or delivered, as Milton's " Paradise Lost" is to a Tupperian stanza.

It's a fact, that not only is the Punt Hill

being ruined, but many other places, in the Borough also. If aldermen do not possess practical experience, a work on " Rbad Making" can be procured for a small sum.

One of 'em says another 'un can't engineer a dog-kennel, and t'other 'un retorts, "no,

but we can engineer a water scheme ;T'thea. ' somebody else may say " but you can't

engineer a sewerage scheme-that licks yet-*' ~

The Redfern Times has evidently he2B had . lately, if I read this aright : -" That when straightforward, upright, and down straight Christian young men form themselves into debating Christian Societies, and then come to grief they should manage to pay their printer

.before -dissolving." This applies equally as ;; well to other societies -who ate not particu- <~ larly straight Christians either ia profession or practice-but who may, in fact, î>e a trifle

crooked in both.

Oh, Granny ! Your cablegrams told you * match was played at Newcastle against au eleven of Northumberland, and yet y«ur ** News of the Day" paragraphic! says

" Cumberland." Is that a epecimeu of bis - Public School joggrify 1

In the Bulletin's "Brief Mention" last week, we have the leadjng items, thus : " The Lucas Case-Waittand Want. Baker. ¡ Garrett, Lucas, Day, Taylor, Davies." j That's brief enough in all conscience ; but mullum in parvo-ia the word.

I Accord ng to Eli Johnson, the very newest

I form of sociality is, "come and do a small

¡licotine, or a medium vitriol!"

Some time ago the Hunter-street moralist chalked out an honourable career for our re- turned ox-champion. The Bulletin remarks thereon thusly : "Trickett has neither pur- chased a quarry nor started a boat-shed, as his best friends thought he Would. He has taken a pub. The Silver Grid, Bridge-street,

is the house he has chosen, in which either to ' sink his dollars or make a pile." What will Garrany say now ?

Anatomists and physiologists—and I pre- sume, etymologists—are bursting their brain pans to know what the irrepressible McElaone meaneth by the Premier " busting his bingey." It is hoped the coming lexico- grapher will make a note of that gem.

So Dr. Vaughan and his laymen are at loggerheads. The Doctor wants to charge for admission at per head at the opening of the Cathedral ; some laymen object, and fail to see why those poor persons who have stumped out their threepences and sixpences towards the erection of the big pile should now be asked to pay for admission. I can't see it either—the fact is, any curious Protestant who ante's up the gilt can shoulder a poor

Catholic out of his own Church.

Nothing but onesidedness this side the line. Now, wouldn't it have looked handsomer had the Trickett Testimonial affair concluded by drinking the champion's health ?

nfctltiitks it would. There need - be..no, further questioning Han Ian's imn»ense superiority ; and Trickett has manfully ad milted it-notwithstanding his friends will keep carping away with this if* and that " if." If Tricketts friends lay t<> heart the silly things that have been said by a iew low sporting papers in London, anent him. they are silly as the others are mean. Here u» yee's both Edwards!

Trickett, in his little speech tb.? .-»ther night, " acknowledged the many kind:i: ss-s

he had received at the hands of Australians**

-in london, presumably? Bat did Ned receive ¡io kindness from anybody elie, worth, mentioning? I have some recollection of benefits being got up for him -both in Lon- don and Newcastle, and purs* s of n;o:¡ev being given ; were the don irs ali Aus- tralians ? who'll answer the question ?

Now, I'm on this lay. I notice that tho New York Spirit of the Times, of M i v 20, digs at Edward in this scrubbing brasa fashion (I pick out the bristles). " No*ie but an ungrateful dog could have charged us with inhospitality . . . this aquatic vagrant out of the workhouse." Then (>,-.\%>xvs some bass abuse of our Parramatta Ri*er, and the way we conduct our race3, and con- cludes thusly : " It is to be sincerely re- gretted that the good impression of Aas tralian sportsmen engendered by the bluff" manliness of E. C Liycock. and the straight- forwardness of Barney Thompson, should be marred by the silly and slanderous raouthings .f this disappointed mountebank." What does all this venom mean at all, at all ?

A consequential and pragmatical deputa- tion, coasisting of the creme de la creme of th« larrikinii, waited upon the Ivy Green, last week, to see whether that distinguished luminary thought it advisable to start a pap±r

at Richmond, in opposition to th» miserable rags that exist in Windsor, and that ran counter to every larrikin fakement. That illustrions and druidical individual, casting' his eye slyly round »to see that '«Tom the Blusher" was not within bearing, replied, " That he'd have no objection, providing, he was allowed half a page for a ' pate's corner,' and five bob a week for the scientific

editorship." The illuminati! nodded a:-- - quiesence, and adj urned to-to take it out hi rum and-obscenity.

We are getting on very nicely ; and m> wonder s .mebody hassal, just lately, that " crime, at the end of the present century will have made greater strides than it did in any

three centuries before ; and that our criminal . population will be so dangerous, as to require an armed force to keep them in order." JJ© wonder indeed ! when we have Patriots ©F the Milburn Creek, D or'.ing Harbour Com- pensation, Town Hall Found aious, snd Dummying patriots to set go jd examples.

Which reminds me that the late Municipal investigation, aneut Mr. Bra Mori's pscuüar ities, shows that there's something infinitely more shady than working a tram ticket racket, going on somewhere.

Here's a proposition-suggested by a very ;-. neat article in your Thompson's Square con- temporary: -A wine shop, a wine shop-keeper^ a license, and a bungling official; result-* Banquet and apotheosis of Wollombi Joe- . Strike the loud Cymb tis'-run up the bant- ing ! ! We won't"go horns t* morniu*--and so

say all of us-*s jolligood- fier- hiccup-J- Jj Blue-fire, Bengal lights, all hands under íhéÉI

table

Opjii confessio 1 is good for the soul, and it ia quite clieering to read in your Indepen- dent friead week.-after week, that there is plenty of " wasie paper for sale" at that office. This is a g >od 6ign that they have consciences down th it way. and are not alto- gether demoralized by Murrum.bidgee~-or a ty other rum.

I am glad to see that thc two Boss papers of Par'amatta, do not mince matters in respect of the iate Dummy Selection business ; with regard to the other two it don't matter much -one's to gno 1, and the other too bad to hit out squarely, at any thing.

VL'LCAW.

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