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4 corrections, most recently by peter-macinnis - Show corrections


TUB SCIIOOUIASTBR AnitoAö - A yellow-visnged French Canadian, named Monsieur Alexandre Thibet, who calls himself a schoolmaster, and trains the young idoa how to shoot-at knuckle down, &c, in G'astloroagh itrcot, was called upon to afford proof positive of his abi- lities as an essayist and elocutionist, at the suit of a stout, fine-looking young mad, named John Vickery, for as- saulting him.

The comrllaifinnt deposod that ho is next door neigh- bour td tho peilagogno, and ho took it into his hoad to stick up a polo in his yard, with what is usually known ns " a Guy." Upon «lils pole xvas n Union Jack, with some- thing stuffed, and intended to represent nn old woman.

I'hero was also somo writing, such as English tier*«» French, and other allegorical inscriptions, intended, in the schoolmaster's mind, which witness boliovos ko bo as jaundiced ns his pln¿, ns sorrio Indignity to the grand nation. Monsieur Thibet accordingly presentad himself at the barrier of wooden paling which sovers his premises from his neighbours, armed with a propstick, and com- menced nn onslaught upon tho representative of tho an cicnt femalo nt tho top of the pole. Ho noxt mndo a swinging hit nt witness's lint, which, had it taken effect, would lu nil probability have sent him to that bourno from which no Vickory was over yet known to return However, by bobbing his hoad, he avoided the intended deliver, but'reçoive I a rap over the knuckles which put ono of tlum out of joint.

By tho Poiico Magistrate:-WitnesR did not strike the defendant . he'd scrim to hit a p tor old frog-eating thing like him. If ho did hit him, he would most likely dis- patch him either to kingdom como, or into tho middle of next week; he throw a ball at dr-fendnnt i it was a bhild's playin» bill, and not n common hall, ho erected tho pole, flag, and Guy to amuse the juvenile scions of the houso of Vickery, and at tho simo timo to serve ns a scare-crow to tho numerous hanks which by night and by day wore habituated to attack, pluck, und dovour his pigeons.

Monsieur Alexandre hore produced a small granito nugget or boulder, xvith xvhich he allotted Mr. Vickery had assailod him ,- he declared that the stone hit lorn so vio- lently in the pit of his stomach, as to compel him to put his right arm in a sling, and since then he had bcon un- able to set copies in writing to his pupils. Ho also en- quired in a plaintive strain ¡-" V> for vat reason you put jour obsceno tings on my fenco, aud throw great big largo stones like dish nt mo ?"

Mr. Vickery called Patrick Fahey, a sharp jnvenilo of about 13, with a mouth capaciously adapted by nature far the consumption of dumpling. Ho amply corroborated Mr. V.'s evidence, and ndded Ihnt tho wily Frenchman had picked up the granitic mrs while passing the chapel In courso of erection in Castlercagh-strcet, next door to host Monition's public houso.

Several other witnesses, of both sexes, wera called, pro and con, hut the schoolmaster was evidently very much abroad, and the P. M. sentenced him to pay a fine of £2, and costs, or to cancel his sins on the stool of repentance In tho Uni linghurst establishment for transgressors during tho ensuing week.

ILLIOANT SPECIMENS OP " WOMAN, SWEKT WOMAN". -Mary Smith, a tough looking, middlo-aged lady, xvith a profilo very much Uko that of an Irish bricklayer's la- bourer, appeared in the witness box to prefor a cbnrgo of assault and battery ngainst Margaret Cameron, a lusty, flurld-corriplcxioned darno, who bounced into'court under tho legal wing of Mr Cory.

Daine Smith deposed that sho and VTeg Cameron Were next door neighbours, and according to almost invariable rule thoy wet o tho worst friends and the greatest enemies imaginable. Being blest with a very full share of that in- dispensable ffmin<ne article, tho tongue, they had a few words about ton days ago. They stigmatised ono an- other by epithets of nn opprobrious nature, not to bo found in either Johnson, Walkjr, or any othor pronouncing dic- tionary, until, the steam being fairly up, they hod recourso to blows. The ruddy defendant pitchod into witness right mid left with the skill of a practised bruiser, sending hor to grass 11 vo timos in succession. Witness aimed several blows at her assailant, but thoy fell short of tho


Mr Cory, by his nblo method of cross-examination, soon put a dlfferont colouring on the matter, tho true version of which ultimately turned out to bo as follows:

Having exhausted their powers of recrimination, those two amiable females commenced pugnacious hostilities hy expectorating ia each othor's faces, and then, Mrs Smith having arraed herself xvith a broomstick, and Meggy Ca- meron having tiona likewise with a clothes prop, thoy fought a battle royal, in which Mrs Smith carno off second


The Bench dismls«cd tho enso.


Thomas Robinson, a tali, respcctnble-louking young man, was placed at the har bef.iro the Police Magistrate; by constable Fairley, who had apprehended him by virtue of a warrant, charged with unlawfully breaking into and entering a house situate in South Sydney, of xvhich a ve- nenóle individual named John Walker is the legitimate

owner. .

«Mr Moffatt was retained for tho prosecution, and called

his ancient into the witness box. . "*

It appeared that Waiker lot his houso to one Coghiirst. who relot it to Robinson; but the last-named individual holds the rent-pnying process in great abhorrence, and, being gifted xvith a marvellous facility for rendering him- self invisible, ho contrix'cd to make both ends meet tole- rably well in tbeso hard times, by holding old Walker's

houso rent free. The almost brokon-hearted landlord

undertook frequent pedestrian pilgrimages to tho domicile to c.JIeot his rent, but vainly; for Mr Robinson xvasnovor, no nover at. home Highly honorable and gratifying as it must he for a tenant to recuivo the domooillary visits of his landlord, Robioson Appears to havo been singularly divested of gratitu.lo, for whenever Walker appeared on the threshold to collect his " lectio rent". Robinson uni- formly made hlmsolf scarce. At last tho old landlord re- solved to bring matters to a climax; so he girded up his loins, and, aided by a brnco of gontlomi-n of correspond- ing kidney, he broko into the houso during the temporary absence of tho " tcnant-at will", and threxv his property out in the streot. This, however, was but a trivial affair, 'as, according to Mr Walker's evidonco his tenant's furni- ture consisted of a broken chair, an empty chest without a lid to it, and a few artlclo* which he stigmatised as a bundle of old rags. Having accomplished this exploit, the old man secured tho street door with a padlock, and de


Tho outwitted tonant noxt carno upon the scene, having been out on foray, and he was by no moans gratified by porooiving that Walker had givon him tho outside of tho houso for. his future abode. He straightway knocked tho padlock to shiveroens xvith a degree of nonchalance that would have horrified Chubb, and restored his stock of furniture to the interior. Tho "id gent was considerably oxisporated whon he discovered thnt Robinson had thus forcibly regained possession, and ho sought tho assistance of tho potont arm of the law, and obtained a warrant for Robinson's apprehension.

The Police Magistrate said that hy right Walker should bo in Robinson's place, and vice versa. That excellent young man had boon most unwnrrantnbiy and unjustly cxpollcd from his domicile, and furnished with unfur- nished apartments in tho lock up. As to his alleged chi- selling of tho landlotd, that was not tho question before

tho court,

Tho prisoner was then discharged, without (to usea Bnw Btreot-ism) »Vin slightest stain upon his eh-iracttr.

WA ns OF WOMBI! -A stout, comely dame, who gavo lier name as Bodella Mc Dermot. of Castlercngh-streot, npponrod before «Messrs. Lucas and Raper, J. P.'n, to nn swer the charge of an oily-lookitig, cribbage-facod female nomed Ellon Ti Ho, for assaulting her on the lath of Au- gust Mr, MofFatt nppoared for tho complainant.

Mrs. Ti Ho informad the bench that sim. is tho lawful wife of a Chinaman named Ti Ho. who holde the highly oncronn and important offieo of head cook at 1 dogood's She had apartments In Bedolia's house, but that lady was continually making insinuations ana inuundoos relative to her tasto as exemplified in bestowing her hand omi heart upon one of tho long-tailed disciples of Confucius. She («Mr». Ti Ho) naturally retorted by making allusions to a certain buck n tggar who she alleged had warmed him solf Into the dcfondant'4 affections

Whotbor tills black allusion had reference to his Satanic majesty, or to a black gemraan of flesh and blood, is dif

ficult to decide, for Mr. Me Ddrmott was in Court, attend-' ant upon his Bedolia. t ..... , r However, Mrs. Ti Ho offered no explonntion. although ,ahei somewhat qunlifiod the dark subject by remarking

. 1 , . I, 1 ii I I ... I - »

that in her opinion a blank msn was as good an a white in an, for handsome iii wot handsome dues. Mrs. Me Dor- nt ot, however, hurt her feoliiiKS by accusine thu Ohiiiusa of killing dogs and cooking and lining thuin us prnvemlér. So she gaVo Bedelía notice to quit, and that lady liebx houred bel1 xvith A child's shoe on the face add bead. .

Mrs. Marcella Henley, n thin lady, whose feline visntrn was rendered still moro attractive hy a slight squint iii her eyes, stated that nil o saw Bedelía hit «Mrs. I'i Hu two or throe clips with a shoo, and added, that hut fur the intorl'eronco of Mr. Mo Dermot,-Bedalia'* husHAnd, she would have given the complainant more of such Usage.

The bench ordered the handsome Badalia tu pay a fino

of 30s-, and 4s. fid. costs.

A RRTIKSI) IliOilKit.-As constable Ma'ckonz'o was

trotting along tho road skirted by Cooper's fitish bn Tues- day afternoon, his attention was attracted hy tile " smoke that Sri gracofully curled" amongst tho bluogdnl trees, and which plainly evinced Hint sutnmut was near. So, with that pryirlg curiosity so essential in nn Indigo, lie folio w.-d his nrtso riiltil he came tu the spot whence tho smoke us


Down in the windings of a vale, in a sequestered spot, he seed a sight. A stout herculean like cove was semi- rccumbent in a cave or excavation, taking things easy, smoking tho calumet of peace, and reading a newspaper. He was dressed in coarse yet substantial, garments, some- thing like one of the minor heroes in G. R. P. James's novels. He wore an enormous bushy black heard, and apparently the article known as soap was contraband in the cave. Like the anchorite of old, the inhabitant of the cave had rushes (or green leaves) fresh strewed for his siesta. His wardrobe was upon his person, but   there were articles of food in a nook of the cave, com- prising half a ham, plenty of tommy, tea, sugar, and to- bacco. Mackenzie interrogated the man in the cave as to

his reasons for taking up his abode in such a place, when   he pulled forth from his nest a parchment document, which he said contained his title to the estate, and proved him to be "monarch of all he surveyed." The docu-   ment proved to be a Miner's Right. The man gave his name J. J. Cowan, and said that he had lived in that cave during the last six months.

Considering that Cowan must have lost a shingle, Mac- kenzie arrested him, and took the liberty of searching his person and his cave. He found a great many books, the retired digger being evidently of a literary turn. He likewise found a loaded revolver; powder and flask, per- cussion caps, lucifers, &c., and money amounting to £1 13s. 10½d.

The poor fellow was taken to the watch-house, and next morning brought before the magistrates, but they were sufficiently humano to release him from custody.

Too FOND OF SWKBTS.- A fine looking lad, about 12 years old, who gave his name as Kitiroy Alexander, was brought up hy Constable Horsford, charged xvith stealing a box of figs from the shop of tho accom- plished lady's own grocer, Hanks, of Genrge-stroct. 'Hie urchin admitted having purl..¡ned theconfectionarics, ami dotermincd to mike a clean breast of it. ho did a tule unfold which reflects much discredit upon cortnin dealers

in the markets.

Hu sild that he had been seduced to commit the thoR by the porsuasion of nnother hoy ; that ho had stolen one box before fiora Mr Hanks' rnnrt : that the other buy had purloined as many ns six from tho same establishment ; that they used to sell the stolen snoots to dealers ia the markets, and then divide the spoil. They selected Mr Hanks as their victim, because ho lived so nigh to the mnrkct, that they bad not far to carry tho plunder ; be- sides, Mr Hanks was so sweet a gentleman, and so gene- rally admired by the feminine shopping community, that they hardly thought he'd turn sour oven if he caught them. Tbo boy's father wus ordered to pay half a so v., and to enter into recognizance for tho future good con- duct of his grace'ess son.

My WIPB'S MOTIIBH.-A quiet-looking little denlor in chinaware, glassware, and crockery, named John Hayes, appeared in the witness-box, to complain to tho Police Magistrate and Mr. E. Raper, J. P.. of the awful illusage to which he bad been subjected by his wlfu's mother.-Mr. Moffatt appeared for tbo complainant; Messrs Roberts and Cory for I ho defence.

Rhoda Donnelly, a huge black-a-viscd female, uko ono of Barclay and Perkins' far-famed draymen attired in habiliments of silk and velvet, nppearod as defendant, and honored tbo reporters of the press by comiog to an an- chor, or taking a scat, amongst them.

Mr. Moffatt enid it would probably save time if ho mado a brief peroration descriptivo of tbo circumstances of tho


The plaintiff kept a glass and china shop in Kent street, and wooed and won the tiny hand and warm puls- ating heart of Miss Matilda Donnelly, who was noxv Mrs. Hayes. The, old lady before the Court had certainly made her daughter various prosonts when visiting her, but the devil of it was that she used to get in furious pas- sions, and 'mash and destroy property to a greater amount of value than that winch she gave. On the present oc- casion, to wit-the 17th of the present month, while Mr. Hayes was out speculating, his wife's mother visited his domicile, and, as if for the purposes of proving to him hoxv brittle wero all hopes of unbroken tranquillity in this terrestrial sphere by a metaphor of the brittlqnei-s of his wares, sha set to xvork and smashed a great quantity of glass nnd crockery ; sha also smashed a patent lover clock to pieces,-all without tho slightest provocation.

Mr. Hayes corroborated this statement.

Mark Miles, a merry young Hebrew, deposed that ho was a hawker and general dealer, and having heen out all *day buying and selling, he xvns driving his wheelbarrow homo on tho afternoon in quobtion, when he heard a stunning noise in Mr Hayes' shop. So, as he couldn't think of such a thing ns losing a bit of fun, he stopped his one-wheeled venirle, and went in to seo what wns up. Mrs. Donnelly was smashing tho crockery like one o'clock, but he didn't care about that, because, dealing largely in that commodity himself, ho thought it might bo good for trade. Ho saw her take up a clock, and smash it to shivers on the fluor. She then laid hold of Mrs. Hayes by the hair of her head, and sot to xvork pinching her; Mrs. Hayes all tho while singing out " murder" at the top of her volco, whilo the neighbours chorus, singing " xvhat a shame." Ho saw no provocation given whatever to Mrs. Donnolly.

At this stngo of the proceedings Mrs Donnolly majesti- cally arose, and did a napkin unfold. She then produced something which had onco boon a bonnet, noxv flat as n pancake, nnd more of a drake than a duck. Mr Roberts naked Mark if ho ever saw such a bonnet, and to favour iho court witli his opinion of it Mark replied that it must bo a very fashionable b-innot, for as it was custom- ary to wear the bonnet at tho back of the head, of rourso the fl.ittor the hotter. A smaller napkin, sprinkled with blond, xvns also produced by Mrs Donnelly, but Mark declared that he ncvor noticed it at the scrimmage.

Tho Bench sentenced dame Donnolly to pay £3 da- mages and £2 couts, or to bo incarcerated during a fort-


Arising from hor seat with tho mnjosty of a cart-load ol bricks, sho favored tho court with a very tigress-like des- cription of smilo, liquidated the fino, and departed.

THE PAISOS of JKALOUST.-A sweet-tempered looking female, named Susnn Harris of admirable form and as tall as a grvnadier, in a dress of the M'üregor'plaid and a white crapo shawl, was introduced by a six-foot indigo nnmed Miller, 7 B, charged on warrant with assaulting Mrs Ann Hills, of No. 2, Maitland Piuco, Pnrratnntta


Ann THll.i, a tittie did woman with á prorilo like that of a West Indisn parrot, and a person almost as thick as it is long, entered tho witness-box. squeezing between her hands a kerchief which probably was white half a century ago. nnd from the folds of which she produced a lot of hair, said to bo har own, but xvllHi resembled tile stuffing of an old muttrasa. Sho deposed that on the previous afternoon Susy «-usha'd into her domicile, nnd, without the slightest provocation, attacked her. Sho seised her by the hair, which silo tore from her head in handsful ; then knocked her down and beat and kicked her black and btno. Sho never saw Sdsy before in her life, only once,

about a yonr ago. '

Susan, xvith much reluctance, attributod lier misconduct to tho infidelity of her lord, And said that he-tho Pithcr of hor eight children-hud been in the habit of knocking about the streets with the complainant-a circumstance which does not refloet much credit Upon Mr Hartis'sgoud tasto in the article of fominino loveliness: so she " had it in" for the dum pty iudividual in the witness-box, and "when she eau«ht her sha paid her out''.

Another long lady waa then called into tho witness-box, evidently in n state of beer, when tho following interesting

dialogue took placo:- ,

Clerk of thjo Bench: What's your name? . "Answer: Charlotte Crab.

Police Magistrate: What's your nemo?

Mrs Crab: I told you once and sim'n't toll you again. Why don't you keep your ears open? Ho, ho, he, he, he

-ha ha. ¡

Polios Magistrate If ynd can't givo your ovidenco without laughing and giggling, you'd botter leave the court. Now, what's your name?

Mrs Crab (who looked tho reverso of crabby, a smile all over her face) t I've given it already, and won't give it

any moro.

Polled' Magistrate: How rauoh have yob drunk this

morning r"

Mrs Crab: Not a drop. I saw that tall defendant, Susan, commit nit assault on my friend, and 1 comb hore to givo evidencio.

Mrs Crab then informed the conrt that sho BAW tho as- sault committed as deseribud by Mrs Hill.

The defendant was seutoucod to pay a fino of JEI, or bo imprisoned for % week.

I A Onurownaa PLOT.-At tho Police Court, yesterday I a cuso xxaH called on in which Messrs Alfred Hawley and I .foioph Burdekin Holdsworth,trndiiie: under the firm of [ lliiwluv and Co, were charged on Iho information of a I vendor of fish named Peckham, with illegally landing a

quantity of gunpowdor at tho Market Wharf, contrary to tho Act of our precious Parliament. 19 Vic No 6, the

said Pai limitent veiv much dislikiutr ihoamoll of gunpow- der. The hontmnn landed the gdnpdwder from tho island .if Goat at the «Market Wharf instead of at Duwus's Bu


The trnnpnwdar consisted of twd thousand two hundred and filly pounds weight, and was calculated to make n meat fiza, Our Parliament, abhorring tho very iden of H Mow np. framed 10 Vic No a. to put a stopper on the vent of gunpoxvdor, and by that Act any porson landing gunpowder at any othor place than Daxvos's battery was liable to tho very hoivy penalty of as for every pound of

gunpowder so landed.

vir Roberts was retained by tho polico authorities, and

Mr Redman for the defence

It npncars that Peckham, the gentleman whoso ones of fish hu! at nn early matutinal hour disturb the feline rnco from thoir nfnnnrs on theahlngied and slntcd roofs of tho nitizous' domiciles, and drowsy servant maidens from thoir slumhnrs. was pursuing his piscatory occupation, purcha- sing quantities of tho finny race at the Queen's or Market Wharf on the morning of the 20th of Augnst. He saw some men in a boat come from Goat Island, and land 40 or SO kegS of gunnowder. Peckham, it appears, wns fully coftnlzsnt of 19 Vie No 6. and ho judged thomby flhliins; out of the boatmen the whence nnd the whither of the gunpowder, he xvutild bo able to make rt good haul, by hooking the ownors through the agency of that lynx oyed officiai. Inspector Singleton. Mr Singleton was soon on the qtlitiioe. nnd found the kegs of combustible mate- rial at the Railway Station, nnd-he put a stopper on the going ofl* of the explosive matter

Mr. Rodman fired the first volley, hy immediately tak- ing objections to tho proceedings, and the learned gentle- man quoted from various legal authorities in Support of his arguments: He denied tho jurisdiction of the Court ne also urged that the change of landing pintie made hy the Govornmont was not generally known; and ho pointed out that ovon tho Government subaltern in charge of the;Goat Island was ignorant of the chango, and believed that -it was legal to land the powder at tho Qiiecn'swh'nrf. After hearing the aren munta of tho Icarnod gentlomon, the bench postponed tho case until Wednes- day next. ?

Tho learned gentloman's main objection, and which we hope and bolibvo will prove fatal, is, that tho Act does not set forth ho'xv tho ponalty is to be recovered.

RKVOLTINO JDVKNILE DepjiAVirT.-James Smith, a youth of 15, whoso hoad xvns partially bandaged, WAS charged before the Police Magistrate with 'attempting to commit a rape on a child six years old, tho daughter of Charles Hall, an omnibus proprietor, residing nt . Peter- sham. Ho was also charged with inciting a littlegboy, aged 7 years, to commit an indecent assault on another little daughter of Mr. Hall, about three years of ago. Tbo accused was employed as a conductor of one of plaintiffs busses.' . M r; Moffatt xvns retained ¡for the pro- secution The boy, who wept bitterly during the hearing

of tho case, was remanded until to-morrow (this day).

' Music AND DANCINO -John Scott, the rough looking landlord of the Glebe Tavern, at the Globe, was sum- monsed by constable Carroll for allowing music and dancing in his public houso. Tho indigo stated that when he was half a milo off the houso be heard a terrible noi-o

like the squeak of a pig afflicted with tho cholera. It was ten o'clock nt night, and as witness drew nearer, he as- certained that tho sounds proceeded from "aHuts" which was being played in Scotts.* A man was dancing a drun- ken hornpipe in the bar, surrounded by spectators, while a fomalo was indulging in a jig, in the parlour. Mr Scott,, who lind evidently been taking refreshment, enquired of the constable, " What the devil to you call a flute ?'' air Burnrll J.P., at once committed the mile Scott to the watch-houso for coûtera pt of court, until tho following (this) day.