THEY SAY That the business ways of a sanctimonious land agent are not in keeping with his much-advertised piety.
Í^B.t tho difference he cepa between the eeUets' »cd the buyers* price is often 60 per
.fast he recently received an offer of £150 for an acreage at Norsh Perth.
ïh&t he virad to the owner in Melbourne Bcd told him tie had an offsr of £60.'
Tatt this ia ona job among hundreds Worked bj this sbufneseme saint.
That the mail steamer wharf -was last Week the scene of & coincidental contre- temps.
That a fairly yerang and well-off Fremantlè «saple had grown exceedingly tired of each ^^fher's caresses.
That each secretly arranged to clear out fer a trip with an illicit love.
That each brace of guilty birdlets arranged to do a canoodle to Colombo.
That the quartette of elopers met under Resumed names on the gangway !
That "Mundaringa Romeo" repudiates tho libel that he inserted the wantod-s-wife
That five golden virgins who replied to käs plea are seeking the stout man's scalp.
That "Business" baa not yet dared to claim his correspondence.
That in consequence of the fiasco the shekeled spinsters are taking legal advice from Lycn WeiES.
That the warning printed by this paper anent the guns from the East has borne
That punters who took the tip saved themselves from a nothing-to-all bet.
That the crooks who were herein pilloried took the knock as predicted.
That the small sports who trusted them were as flat as they were financial
That tiie attempt to lore a straight-writ- ing scribe to a hocussing hovel was spoiled by a warning tip.
That speech is silvern and silence golden is the case of a toney Highgate Hill board- ing hooBe.
That the consideration of having a lucre »pen ding lodger incites the hashery to wink
st his wickedness.
That the burly barrister is therefore al- lowed to "entertain his friends" in his .Wagger suite.
That an assay of the reception tailings .hows the preponderance ot hairpins and
That the Hospital Saturday people have
no love for a White Australia.
That the -job of making the eoUeotion boxes has been given out to Ohows.
That the saintly sweaters might fitly rope
the Asiatics in to ask for amis.
That Clarth's great Greenbushes water scheme is at last partially floated.
That the promoter has so far succeeded in suppressing his joy.
That the explanation is that the late cains have partly submerged the plant.
That the crestfallen Clarth has lit ont for the lout who built it to summer levels.
That the municipal mugwumps* rejection of James's jaunt was a heroic adherence to perinciple.
That the one-eyed aldermen might apply the same reasoning to their annual blather.
That the self-same sentiment would stand
for those who sojourned to "'Sunnyside.''
That the robbing oat of Trewartha ii a biff in the eye for his West champion.
That the jerked-out jock has no firmer admirer than Hackett's stodgy scribbler.
That the turf is a gainer by the rusti- cating of the mischievous mannikin.
That Doctah Ass---tles has hautily re- signed his billet on the hospital staff.
That the misogynistic medico disdainfully declines to associate with a skirted saw- bones.
That the wooden-headed old wowser is
regarded as a martyr by other girl-hating
That "Dr." Hackett's frill was one of the
glories of the square-and-oompass corro-
That the learned leader-writer got round in ells of linen and yards of lace.
That his dexterous manipulation of the apron suggested erstwhile experience of washing-up.
That a crew of insulting cads ran riot in the theatre on Thursday night
That the insufferable bogs blackguarded men playgoers and openly insulted helpless
That cads like Jamieson, Bich and Robertson are unfit for admission to a low- down café chantant.
That a party of picnickers stirred Can- nington out of its accustomed sauctitr last Sabbath.
That the sophisticated locals have not yet recovered from the shock of their violent orgies.
That a lushed-up couple strayed out to the bush and refused to leave their lair.
That violent hands were laid on "DonT I and bis donah to secure their return town Irard.
That the Nooze announcement was a bolt >om the blue to the Courier statt.
That the empticd-out inkslingers were locking out for a quiet life.
That the outcome of the business will be & monopoly for the William-6treet wind- bag.
That a Port publican is well in the run- ning for the mean-man biscuit.
That tko bloated bung is remorselessly pur. umg a ps ge for the price of a broken glass.
That in default of the paga the unfederal ÍUEÍÍ-flinger is going to besiege a barmaid.
That a repetition of the Wa'eh-Thorn . sch!enter is threatened to be preparing for I
That the pugs are alleged to have sounded the police with a view to usit:g lOOoz. gloves.
Th»t the whola Ambulance iiv^-ty will be on hand to assist at the eanguiii.ay scrap.
That tht South Fremantle Methodies are adepts at screw ia g silver from youngsters.
That at a recent ailegecty free show the kiddies were made to stun;p up heavily.
Tiist the come-round-and-cnjov-yerselve3 invitation proved to be on the" bob-a-nob basis.
That a Trrt towage-agent has taken an ah*o=t *M;pdfd turu sicce his phiz appeared
in t->e 1 iv-vs.
Tbst, willie raäectiug on his fatal beauty he flopped ¿own into the Swan.
Guessing competitions in connection with the land sale3 are the order of the day. Following the example of the Gosoell Estate people, J. S. Duffy announces a competition apropos of the Swan View Éstate, which is warranted to tax the ingenuity of the best puzzle expert in the community. The prize is a 6-acre farm, and the man who wins it will have deserved it. Here is another chance for Minister Hopkins to immortalise himself. His abilities this way don't surely stop at Mundijong porkers.
Nest Saturday at the Bose and Crown Grounds, Guildford, a 100 yards' handicap of 15 Eova. will bo run. Entries close on
Thursday. It is to be hoped that this han- dicap will be more successful than that which took place yfasterday week.
They say that ladies ought to read the coupon on page 6, and take advantago of the offer made by the well-known English Toilet Requisite Company, the K»ko Maricopas Company. Ltd., proprietors of
the celebrated Koko for the hair.
To "Wager," a querist re cribbage-The
answer is "No."