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1 correction by peter-macinnis - Show corrections


If there is one thing more remarkable about the anti-federationists than their paio-<*> chialism and persistent clinging to sell it is the way in which they agree. In New South

Wales they are all crying out tha>. ttut c>.iouy is being bought and sold, robbed of its just rights, and eacrlActd to the greed of the other colonies. It never enters into their heads that Victoria, or South Australia, or any other colony is making its fair propor tion of sacrifice. The other colonies ironi their point .of view are so many Shyiocits clamouring cruelly for their pounds of ilisb. Here, as was evidenced by yesterday's tneo-t -ing in the Centennial HaJl, the anti-ledera tionists take a similar view of the position of Queensland. They put the boot on the foot of the mother colony, and declare that Queensland is in danger of being robfaei and defrauded in most outraglous fa.hi n Query, which is right ? Is New South Wales the injured colony or is Queensland? There is bo little prospect of either suffer ing to any extent, and so bright a promise of both gaining greatly, that it is impos sible to regard these fractious pessimists as better than mere " calamity howlers." They protest far too much to carry con viction. Blind themselves, they will have it that all the world is dark.

A German medical paper tells this story : —The doctor received a lady suffering from 6ome internal complaint into his private hospital. He found that a smalt operation was necessary, and she consented. When chloroform had been administered, however, it appeared that the mischief was much more serious than the doctor bad supposed, and that the small operation would not be sufD tient. Accordingly he did what was needed then and there. It proved to be effective ; the lady recovered and showed herself deep ly grateful—nntil the " Httle account" ar rived. Then she protested that the greater operation had been unnecessary ; and as it was performed without her consent, she threatened an action for assault or " bodily injury." Thereupon the doctor sued her for the amount of his bill, twenty-seven pounds ten shillings. The Supreme ProjtaJcTaT" Court at Dresden has just delivere/r«Judg-!. ment It admits that the operiylon/iias" lengthened defendant's life probably£,Yßu* it was not carried out with her kfiwrled^e^ or approval. It might h.ive been lal&Videa. with danger. Therefore, the court titf&ra-ed it "an intentional and illegal bomfyyln- Jury." Forthwith the Public Prosecutor Jjfs, stituted criminal proceedings. "It>£ <t> lovely case," remaiks the Melbourne " Ar-':' gus." " One resembling it arose in this* 1 .country some months ago. But, as we recol lect, the lady did not win here."

" You have probably heard that story," Remarks "Woomera" in the "Aust-a'a?ian," " of tho simple-minded preacher who, dwell ing on the parable of the sheep and the goats, Implored all present to a3k them ■elves the solemn question—' Am I a goat ?' There was less humour in the case I men tion now, though tie sermon was preached by a Bishop no les3. What Bishop and where he preached is "beside the question. His want of imagination, or perhaps ex cess of it, was so remarkable that I cannot refrain from telling the story. He was preaching from the text, ' And the l»ord shall come as a thief in the night.' It may have been that his own eloquence carried him away,. "but the congregation were star tled when the preacher clasped his hands, and with a rapt expression on his upraised, face, eald, 'Oh come, Divine Burglar.' It was carrying allegory too far by just about the distance between heaven and the" City Police Court."

Says the " Western Champion" :—" The folks in the far west find time hang so heavily on their hands that they are often bard put to it to find something to occupy what little energy the drought, flies, and hot weather left* to them. The other evening Bome genius suggested a waltzing match, and it is needless to say the idea caught on with considerable celerity. Two couples were speedily found willing to sacrifice them selves for the amusement of the onlookers, and to keep the gentlemen going it was de cided that the loser should buy each lady partner a pair of shoes, although it is not stated what the winner was to have. Per haps as the loser was to give the ladies a pair of ' boatß' each, the ladies would each ■have to give the winner a little ' smack.' Dead silence is maintained as to how long the contest lasted, but it is said the shoes had to be bought after the great feat had won them, and the pianist had to be carried off to the hospital. The flow of perspiration nan a dead heat with the flow of liquors, and it Is understood the floor of the hall looked as if a thunderstorm had shifted the roof on to some other part of the country, and then put a couple of inches of rain on the unpro tected boards. If some one wants to get up something extra eelect and refined for the next ball in (Barcaldine, let him announce a waltzing match."

According to the writer of " N'lmporte" Jn the " Sydney Mall," it would appear as if half the young men of Australia wished to become soldiers and the other half police men. " There was an epoch in the colonies " he says, " when both military and constabu lary were regarded with disfavour, but that time seems to have completely passed. Is It tha't the inhabitants of young countries which have never looked on war are carried away by the glamour which historians In all ages have managed to throw round the noble art of killing ? Perhaps, after all, old Molfke was right in considering that uni versal peace would mean universal decad ence. At all events, the great desire of young Australian males is either to wear khaki and learn how to stick somebody, or to dress in blue and to study the best way to obtain a clue to a crime one da"y and lose it the next."

President Kruger is Intensely original. His remark, for instance, made to a meet- Ing of dome €000 persons at Johannesburg on Saturday, that there must be no " bigamy" in the Republic, carried a meaning quite out of the common. His subsequent statements illustrated that meaning. The word ex preme* practically the whole difficulty in the Transvaal. It demands that a person entering the Republic shall know nothing eufertte of it. " The new comers to the

South African Republic," said the great man, " must forswear tbeir old country if they desire to obtain the rights of burgher ship." In this we see at a glance the appli cation of the word "bigamy." President Kruger hardly realises the gravity of the demand that a Britisher entering the Trans vaal shall forget that he is of the old stock. When the President puts his views in so straight a manner as this the time seams to have arrived for his enlightenment. The in justices under which colonists suffer mainly by reason of the systematic disenlivnchise ment which they suffer there cannot much longer go on, and such speeches as that de- Livered at Johannesburg on Saturday ought to greatly assist in bringing about their ter mination.

A writer in the London " Leader" is re minded of a little story which, be saya, he once heard told by Mr. Christie Murray at a Press smoker, where a rigid adherence to accuracy is always insisted on. iMr. Mur ray met in Ca/uada the Mayor of some small town, who explained how cold it was out that way during the winter. Mr. Mlayor once went out bear-shooting in the winter. He had a nice tent for himself and another for his attendants, eac'u wnrmed by un oil stove. In the rnigfot he entered »ha ether tent and exclaimed in a tone of despair, " I ca-ant sleep." The other men said it cer tainly w»3 alinJ'ghty cold. " It ain't tho <»oM." said Mr. Mayor, " it's the light that bothers me. The candle's burning, and it keeps me awake." "Then why, in the name of ttouflder, don't you blow It out ?" aetod the man. " Ca-ant blow it out. 'coa tha flaime's frozen," replied the poor Mayor.

'My Lady Nicotine had no more constant lover, as we learn from the London "Dfcily Telegraph," than the late President Faure. More than that, he wbs the only one of the Six Presidents of the Third Repu'blic who used tobacco in any form —except, meta phorically, in thait of snuff, of which they all sot a good deal, one way or another, from their fellow-citizens. One cannot eas ily imagine little Tbiera suspended at the end of a " Magnifico Pomposo"; AflaeMahon had given up smoking before he came to the alßlysee ; M. Carnot would proba/bly have tE&ught it undignified—<the poor man was ;%y Signified, in a wooden sort of way—to mhpWTsM. Cashnir-JPerier did not like it. But v the. «-ouvrtPT stuok t'o his pipe amid3t pomp a,nd circumstance which he loved ; ih^the Mays, of his success, and the fact is <hst±n«tly creditable to him.

Tne 'VHaHarat Courier" is making ißerry i^-ffce-ftjjpense of their own city fathers. 'Btelhdsbt v^K would appear, having run tho "s^Mmrtfraze to the uttermost limit of insan ity, has now "turned its attention to imple ments of war, and is forming the nucleus of a museum of rusty, old, worn-out guns, wMch .gives the wouW-'bo federated capital of the Commonwealth all the odious appear ance of a marine store on an inflated scale. One of the antiquated guns of the Certerus is the latest addition to this museum, of which the " Courier" thus describes the cO3t to the local taxpayer. It may be remem bered that this formidable munition of wnr was originally a free gift from the " War Department" of Victoria. "Railway freight, £22 ; cost of road carriage from the station to the gardens, £35 ; cement, £4 125.; con tract for placing in position, £1€ ; total, £77 12b." The old proverb, enjoining a wfoolecome dread of the " Greeks wh?n bear ing presents," was forgotten by Biallarat when the Government was consumed with generosity towards a city burning with mili tary ardour, ©allarat has now a half-dozen pieces of corroded artillery to stimulate her sons to such deeds as won the Empire,

A writer in the " Sunday Times" has the following note concerning a recent protest toy the Evangelical Council of New South Wales :—" The executive of the Evangelical •Council are up in arms at the horrible idea of a girls' swimming match at the Fitzroy Oook in a mixed company. They are pre pared to admit, out of deference to the re searches of science, that girls have limbs as capa'ble of propelling them along In tho water as those of boys ; fcut in the Interests of Btrict morality would like to have the fact Ignored by parents and visitors to a swim ming competition amongst school children. With that keen scent which some people pos sess for dangers of all sorts where water is concerned they profess to discern something shockingly wicked in the bare idea of see ing a €dhoolgirl in that element, however appropriately attired she may be. Why there should be any more indelicacy in seeing a young female in the water, fittingly clothed, more than doing the block in fashionable «*tume is not easily understood by ordin al mortals ; but then, as the Evangelica Alliance have specially laid themselves out to look after other people's morals (some- UmesK is even reported to the neglect of Sir own)! perhaps they ought to be allowed to decide the matter."

•Really the ladies of rational dress are in consistent. They dare do all that doth be cSa man, and yet are not prepared to SET a man's responsibilities. They are <*aaliUK O ur smoking cara on the railways !S coSrae a horrid m*n is seats on «he 'buses, our reserved seats on the tramcars, and even our trousers. Yet if we ask them to share a scrap of our dis advantage they squeal. A viscountess In England-no less than Lady Harberton-waa at an English inn sent to lunch at the bar parlour and where there were smokers. The landlady found the viscountess in knickers, and would not let her go to lunch witb the women in petticoat*. " Madam, or sir," we fancy we hear her saying, " I will find you meat and drink, but you must only show your calves in the bar parlour." Then the viscountess would be angry, and report the matter to the Cyclists1 Touring Club, and the club would prosecute the landlady. Hap pily there was a man to hear the prosecu tion who was not to be influenced by the new woman or her calves, and he in effect said, "My lady, if you ohoose to dress in a remarkable way you must be content to put up wtth the prejudices of folk who are not so advanced." Toe poor viscountess!

The Trades and Labour Council of New Zealand is very anxious to get legislation to prevent the individual acquisition of wealth. It might as well try to regulate the Indi vidual acquisition of knowledge. What a

pitiful business is this task of trying to re duce to one dead level of spineless mediocrity all the best energies of men. It is a gross f outing of Nature, tbe mother of Inequalities, and whose laws are inviolable. Next we shall have juvenile politicians imbued with the same ideas as the Trades and Labour Council of New Zealand are promulgating. A law to prohibit the individual acquisition of marbles would prevent the "muckers" of   the school—such ss the term by which the crack marble players are known—gathering in the "chows" and "stonys" and " aggys"     of his schoolmates; and then, seeing that New Zealand is a woman's right colony, there might be some action to prevent any thing like an undue acquisition of dolls by little girls. Some girls have a lot of dolls; others have none. Should it be so? De- cidedly not; and a sliding tax on an increas ing ratio should be imposed on every doll over and above one. If one gets into this levelling system it is better to go the whole hog.