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  2. THE NATIONAL GAS WORKS.

    A few days, ago a gentleman was showing an American lady some of the sights of London, and among other places pointed out the Houses of Parliament. ...

    Article : 52 words
  3. Wit and Humor.

    Clerk—"I've—er—had an addition to my family, sir." Employer (absent minded)— "Addition? Well, if it's correct, enter in it the ledger, ...

    Article : 40 words
  4. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 488 words
  5. GETTING ON.

    The visitors had arrived and the young hopeful was trotted out for the usual inspection. His new suit, his bright looks, and his nice manners were, according to ...

    Article : 61 words
  6. THE BEST.

    A Bradford man who has in his employ an Irishman recently had occasion to engage a new cook, and it was this Celt's wife that was given the job. ...

    Article : 70 words
  7. SUPER-AGILITY.

    Smart Young Man—"What do you think of Smith?" Indignant Old Gentleman—"Smith, sir! He is one of those people that pat you on ...

    Article : 43 words
  8. WAS HE THE "RIGHT KIND?"

    The Sunday-school teacher overtook little Willie, who was noted for intermittent attendance at school, and complimented him on his two attendances the same day. ...

    Article : 88 words
  9. CLASSIFIED.

    Visitor—"So I belong to the animal kingdom, do I? That's right, my little dear. I sec you know your lessons. Now, tell me what kind of an animal I am." ...

    Article : 43 words
  10. PERSONAL.

    An old bachelor, whose name was Dickson, and who was very bald, fell in love with a pretty widow whose late husband's name was Robin. One evening bachelor ...

    Article : 90 words
  11. VERY TRUE.

    Bertie Fitz Swanker took his latest charmer out motoring one day recently, and, feeling that perhaps she regarded him as a coward for not being in uniform, ...

    Article : 99 words
  12. SPOIL SPORT.

    "Young man," said the magistrate severely, "the assault you "have committed on your poor wife was most brutal. Do you know of any reason, why I should not ...

    Article : 52 words
  13. AN INSPIRATION.

    Paddy was blessed with an inquisitive landlady, and the repeated overhauling of his belongings during his absence made him determined to put a stop to it. ...

    Article : 93 words
  14. STERNER SENTENCE.

    "Yes." said the young singer, complacently. "I had a great reception after my song last night. The audience shouted. 'Fine, fine!'" ...

    Article : 47 words
  15. AS HE UNDERSTOOD IT.

    Young Smithkins meant well, but he was not an expert in fashions. So when he was sent in an emergency to report a very smart wedding, he was glad to take ...

    Article : 111 words
  16. VANITY.

    They were talking of the vanity of women, and one of the few ladies present undertook a defence. "Of course," she said, "I admit that women are vain, ...

    Article : 78 words
  17. CONSULTING THE ORACLES.

    "I hope, Jennie," that you have given the matter serious consideration," said a lady to a servant girl who had given notice because she was to be married that day ...

    Article : 92 words
  18. QUITE TRUE.

    Professor—"To contract is to make smaller; to expand, to enlarge. Cold contracts, heat expands. The operations cannot go on at the same time' in the ...

    Article : 68 words
  19. NOT HIS FAULT.

    In correcting the exercises of her class a teacher recently observed a new name inscribed on one of the papers—Will Evans. She looked round the class, but could see ...

    Article : 119 words
  20. SOMETHING FOREIGN.

    Two French men met one day, and one said to the other:— "As I was coming down the street today a young man stopped and said to me, ...

    Article : 104 words
  21. PAT'S REGRETS.

    Pat was very downhearted. He had just spent his savings to pay his passage over to England from Ireland. He was roaming idly about the docks ...

    Article : 81 words
  22. THE 'CUTE LAWYER.

    A lawyer having had occasion to summon an abusive cabman, was surprised when his clerk informed him that the cabby, not recognising him, had called to ...

    Article : 104 words
  23. NO COMPLAINT.

    A war story, which in true, was told by a civilian official at a R.A.M.C. mess. He was travelling down to Winchester in a carriage into which several "Tommies" had ...

    Article : 137 words
  24. ACCOMMODATING.

    A lady, going from home for the day, locked everything up, and, for the grocer's benefit, wrote on a card:— "All out. Don't leave anything." ...

    Article : 69 words
  25. NO ESCAPE.

    Two country darkies listened, awestruck, while some planters discussed the tremondous range of modern guns. "Dar now," exclaimed one negro, when ...

    Article : 119 words
  26. AN EYE TO BUSINESS.

    Young Doctor Hardup was sitting in his surgery going through his unpaid bills. Suddenly the door was burst open and his servant rushed in breathless. ...

    Article : 73 words
  27. SOMETHING LIKE A TOOTH.

    "I want yer to take out this tooth of mine," said an Ulsterman to a dentist. The man sat down, and in a short time the dentist bad his instrument applied to ...

    Article : 149 words
  28. HE COULD WAIT.

    A criminal, whose day of execution had arrived, was asked by his gaoler if he had any last favor to request. "I have, sir," said the condemned man, ...

    Article : 84 words
  29. HE KNEW.

    The conjuror was about to commence his favorite trick of producing eggs without hens and after announcing his intentions to the audience, called a small boy on to ...

    Article : 104 words
  30. A SHOCK FOR AUNTIE.

    Little Doris is awfully polite. The other day she offered her aunt a bag of sweets. "Will you have a sugared almond, Aunt Mary?" "she said sweetly. ...

    Article : 132 words
  31. NO KICK COMING.

    They were standing at the front gate. "Won't you come into the parlor and sit a little while, Georgie, dear?" "No-o, I think not," replied Georgie ...

    Article : 71 words
  32. SURPRISED THE DANDY.

    A young dandy walked into tho bar of a country "public" one day, and, receiving a respectful salutation from a "joskin" who stood near, ordered drinks for two, ...

    Article : 224 words
  33. A GREAT EFFECT.

    The Vicar of Bromide was out for his constitutional when he met old Timmy, the village daftie. "I was glad to see you at church last ...

    Article : 85 words
  34. CAUGHT BOTH WAYS.

    As usual, the Yankee was drawing the long-bow. "On one occasion," he said, "I shot, nine hundred and ninety-nine snipe." ...

    Article : 164 words
  35. HUMBLED.

    Mrs. Mellen did not wish to offend her new cook. "John," she said to the manservant, "can you find out, without asking the cook, ...

    Article : 92 words
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