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  2. Mrs. Jones Elopement.

    Mr. Jones came home that afternoon, feeling cross and tired. Business had been dull, and the clerks had been provoking. When he felt out-of-sorts, as he did that day, ...

    Article : 2,023 words
  3. Essay on Policemen.

    The grand feature of this city is a police-man, brilliant in his helmet and uniform parading the streets with majestic strides or gallantly arresting a match boy (don't print ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 584 words
  4. A Bard.

    A young man came into this office the other day and with a deferential cough handed this editor a roll of manuscript. "Poem?" enquired that intellectual ...

    Article : 445 words
  5. Bumped Heads.

    Our heads have met, and, if thine smarts Like mine, you hope they won't again; Friends who saw the painful scene Laughed till laughter grew to pain. ...

    Article : 100 words
  6. Haceling

    "The way to sleep, says a scientist," is to think of nothing;" but this is a mistake. The way to sleep is to think it is time to get up. ...

    Article : 1,019 words
  7. Æsop's Fables.

    One day W. E. G. G. O. M. (William Ewart Gladstone; Grand Old Man, etc.); broke his are handle, and repaired, coatless and braceless, as vide Punch, to the wood, and ...

    Article : 278 words
  8. Nuts and Kernels.

    Running expenses—children. A literary swell—an editor with the dropsy. Far from the madding crowd—many bank ...

    Article : 77 words
  9. Certainties.

    It is impossible to make up with a hat-rim what you lack in brains. The average man begins life by believing nothing. The average man, you will observe, ...

    Article : 195 words
  10. Hints Worth Remembering.

    Never eat between meals. Never eat a hearty supper, Never stand long at a corner of the street. Never fret; it will only shorten your days, ...

    Article : 113 words
  11. Time.

    "The time is out of joint O cursed spite That ever I was born to set it right." SPORTSHAVE. I asked an aged man of care, "What is ...

    Article : 199 words
  12. His Former Practice.

    A venerable gentleman was strolling through the Melbourne Cemetery the other day. He was evidently a stranger, but he would stop opposite certain gravestones much ...

    Article : 128 words
  13. Fools.

    The greatest, the most dangerous, the most insupportable of all fools are reasoning fools; without being the less foolish, they conceal from the unreflecting crowd the ...

    Article : 133 words
  14. Arts and Sciences.

    The art of voting is electricity The art of writing book is author-ography The art of shooting is trigger-nometry. The art of driving is gee-oh-metry. ...

    Article : 64 words
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