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  2. QUEER QUALIFICATIONS.

    An article in "M'Clure's Magazine" shows that even in America civil service examinations are not without their humour. In answer to the usual question, ...

    Article : 146 words
  3. THE FIRM'S GOOD NAME.

    A shopkeeper of an excitable temperament, hearing his assistant say to a customer, "No, we have not had any for a long time," was unable to countenance ...

    Article : 97 words
  4. IN EARNEST THEN.

    "I have noticed," said the off-hand philosopher, "that a woman will get a golf dress when she has no intention to play golf." ...

    Article : 121 words
  5. A NARROW ESCAPE.

    "You seem to have a great liking for large words." "Well, sah," answered Mr. Erastus Pinkley, "I once knowed a man whose life ...

    Article : 64 words
  6. HUMOUR.

    T[?]e Querist: What do you think of the doctrine of the survival of the fittest? The Egotist: It is all right, so far. I am still alive. ...

    Article : 31 words
  7. A BOOK BUYER.

    Bookseller: Did you want a romance, madame, or a scientific work? Madame: Oh. I really don't care. But it must be bound in art green, so that it ...

    Article : 32 words
  8. IN DOUBT.

    "Is your wife a pretty good manager?" "I really don't know." "Don't know." ...

    Article : 86 words
  9. AN UP-TO-DATE DEBUTANTE.

    The following little paragraph shows the scientific care with which American mothers train their daughters for an upto-date society debut:—"Yes," says the ...

    Article : 155 words
  10. HIS HOPE.

    She: You're so bashful, Mr. Callow. I really believe that if you ever marry the lady will have to propose. He: W-well, but I might have—er— ...

    Article : 33 words
  11. WANTED A JOB.

    Governor Stanley, of Kansas, was once so pestered by office-seekers, that he found it necessary publicly to make the statement that, in view of the ...

    Article : 135 words
  12. FREE FROM VICE.

    Some years ago, in a very rural district of England, a farmer had a cow for sale. Now, as there was no weekly paper to advertise in, it was the custom of the ...

    Article : 180 words
  13. A DOMESTIC MYSTERY.

    Hubby (walking the floor at 2 a.m.): I'd just like to know why this baby persists in staying awake every night. Wifey: Really, I can't imagine. I ...

    Article : 37 words
  14. A HONEYMOON IN GAOL.

    The gaol-keeper at Fort Scott, U.S.A. was astonished the other night when a good-looking young couple asked for per[?] to stay in one of the cells till ...

    Article : 98 words
  15. REASON ENOUGH

    "Have a wee nip, friend?" asked the hospitable passenger with the flask. "No, thank you," replied his neighbour. ...

    Article : 30 words
  16. LOST—A BOOT.

    A passenger in a tramcar a few days ago. feeling that one of his hoots troubled him a great deal, took it off and sat in his stocking-foot. This gave ...

    Article : 150 words
  17. LORD BRAMPTON'S PERCEPTION.

    A story is told of the late Sir Frank Lockwood and Lord Brampton, better known to the world as Mr. Justice Hawkins. Sir Frank had been defending a ...

    Article : 152 words
  18. "OVER."

    Some years ago, in a certain village, there lived a stamuch old cricketer and umpire named T—. Every Saturday during the season would find him acting ...

    Article : 103 words
  19. ASKS PARDON.

    Warden: He was the coolest and most [?]ghtful convict that even broke gaol. Jenkins: That so? Warder: Yes. He left behind him a ...

    Article : 45 words
  20. A CANDID BRIDE.

    The brides of Western America are for the future to write their own wadding notices. The Atchinson "Globe" first suggested the idea, and, very properly, is the ...

    Article : 215 words
  21. SO IT DID.

    Markley: See here. You had the nerve to recommend these goods as the finest in the market, but I've only had this suit a week, and see how rusty it is beginning ...

    Article : 52 words
  22. MUST BE ENDED.

    The stodgy-faced boy at the last table in the public library reading-room is having a struggle most serious. He has covered both sides of a foolscap sheet with a ...

    Article : 108 words
  23. A STORY AND A MORAL.

    While feeding a flock of fowls a woman dropped a valuable earring, for which the chickens immediately made a dive. The earring was missing af ter the ...

    Article : 126 words
  24. WHAT WOMAN IS MADE OF.

    Woman, according to a Hindoo legend, was made after all creative elements had been used up in making man. So the god made woman up as follows—and it will ...

    Article : 166 words
  25. STATESMANLIKE RELUCTANCE.

    Here the eminent statesman who was dictating the particulars of his early carcer to the reporter paused for a moment. "This will be the place, I think," he ...

    Article : 56 words
  26. THE TEST.

    "When it comes to marriage I wouldn't give a thought to how much the man I love is making," remarked the dreamyeyed girl. ...

    Article : 52 words
  27. EASILY PERSUADED.

    "Now, guard." said Mr. Pilkington, "remember if I have this carriage all to myself for the whole journey, you will receive a whole half-crown from me." ...

    Article : 220 words
  28. A LETTER FROM FATHER.

    A Board-school boy in a poor district approached his master, and laying a dirt, crumpy envelope on that worthy's desk, laconically observed:—"That's a ...

    Article : 183 words
  29. THE MAN FOR THE PLACE.

    "As for me," said the chance acquaintance "it always rains when I haven't an umbrella, and never when I have." The Weather Prophet—for the other ...

    Article : 70 words
  30. "WOTS THE SENTENCE?"

    "Have you anything to say for yourself?" asked the magistrate. Well, your grace—I mean, your lordship—I 'ope you won't be 'ard on a poor ...

    Article : 154 words
  31. MISTAKES WILL HAPPEN.

    "I was invited to take a trip over a certain Mexican railway," says the narrator of the following anecdote; "and then I received an object lesson never to judge ...

    Article : 163 words
  32. THE GRIP.

    Newit: The after effects of the grip, they say, are worse than most other diseases. Slopay: That's about right. I had the ...

    Article : 64 words
  33. Advertising

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    Advertising : 49 words
  34. Advertising

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    Advertising : 0 words
  35. Advertising

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    Advertising : 0 words
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