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  2. PATS CHEAP DRINK.

    It was a cold day. Pat was loitering outside the "Red Lion," lo[?]ging—[?]ay, simply dying—for a drop of whisky. Byand-by he spotted a stranger enter the ...

    Article : 120 words
  3. EFFECTUAL.

    "What a nuisance!" exclaimed a gentleman in the stalls as a youug blood in front of him kept up a loud conversation with a lady at his side. ...

    Article : 69 words
  4. HUMOUR.

    Which is that which sweetens the cup of life, but which, it loses but one letter, embitters it? Answer: Hope and Hop. ...

    Article : 75 words
  5. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 1,399 words
  6. BELIEVED HIS EYES.

    An old-fashioned Quaker had occasion to send a telegraph message to New York. He stepped ever to the station to send his message, which required an ...

    Article : 74 words
  7. AN EPITAPH.

    Here lies me and my three daughters, Brought here by using Seidlitz waters; If we had stuck to Epsom salts, We wouldn't have been in these here ...

    Article : 33 words
  8. NO QUARTER GRANTED.

    August Belmont, at a dinner at Chicago, said, apropos of two warring street railways:- "The winning road seems determined ...

    Article : 113 words
  9. DEFINED.

    The teacher had been talking to the class about the rhinoceros family. "Now, can you name some things," said he, "which are very dangerous to ...

    Article : 37 words
  10. MASTER AND BOY.

    A pleasing story is told of a master at a well-known public school with a fine talent for good-humoured abuse. On one occasion, when a member of ...

    Article : 98 words
  11. ARISTOCRATIC.

    "That Mrs. Scraggs is too much of a aristycrat fur me to mingle wid." "How's that?" "She was knocked down hy a ...

    Article : 39 words
  12. AD INFINITUM.

    Old lady (sympathetically): "Why are you crying, my little man?" Sis-year-old: "Boo-oo[?] Pat Murphy licked me, a[?] feyther licked me cos ...

    Article : 52 words
  13. CAB[?]Y'S PERQUISITE.

    A London cabby, on locking into his cab to see that all was in perfect order, discovered a dead cat on one of the seats. In his anger and rage he was ...

    Article : 109 words
  14. THE RIGHT SIZE.

    A man tells of a friend of his who recently became engaged to a charming girl. The happy lover chanced to be in a fashionable shop when his eye caught a ...

    Article : 146 words
  15. A JEFFERSON STORY.

    Of the many stories of Joseph Jefferson, one of the best known is that about his once really going to sleep when playing "Rip Van Winkle." His "twenty ...

    Article : 62 words
  16. IN THE FOYER.

    A theatrical manager had printed a number of costly lithographs. Being busy behind the scenes when they were brought to him, he called a ...

    Article : 109 words
  17. WHAT CAUSED THE TROUBLE.

    O'Rourke: "Fy did yez smash O'Brien?" O'Reilly: "Th' spalpeen asked me if I wud [?]ke to have a drink. I said I ...

    Article : 40 words
  18. DIPLOMACY.

    There was a certain tenant farmer, who, in great distress of mind, waited upon his landlord one morning. "I have bad news to report to you," ...

    Article : 232 words
  19. OUT OF HIS MISERY.

    Wilson (meeting friend, whom [?]e hasn't seen for some time): "Let me see, you knew old Jackson, didn't you?" Johnson: "Yes; I knew him very ...

    Article : 80 words
  20. TWO DOCTORS.

    A surgeon, on visiting a club patient[?] was surprised to find a brother medico from another club also in attendance. "How long have you been called in?" ...

    Article : 102 words
  21. ETIQUETTE HARDLY APPLIED.

    A woman bill-collector called on a leading society lady to try to get her to settle a bill or a sable coat. "I am sorry," she said to the ...

    Article : 78 words
  22. THE BRIDEGROOM'S TASK.

    The vicar of a country parish related an incident which occurred recently, when he was marrying a couple at his shurch. ...

    Article : 97 words
  23. MUSIC STORIES.

    In an amusing article on "Spring Sermons" in the "Manchester Guardian," are given some good music stories. A double-bass, becoming excited ...

    Article : 85 words
  24. FORGAVE THE COURT.

    When the late Lord Russell, of Killowen, was plain Mr. Russell, and when the late Mr. Justice Denman was on the northern circuit, ...

    Article : 270 words
  25. HOW JANE UNDERSTOOD IT.

    A lady had a servant who caused her considerable, trouble, especially regarding her food. On one occasion the family had mutton chops for dinner, which ...

    Article : 84 words
  26. THE CZAR IN PROVERB.

    In a recent number of the "Paris Fig[?]" were found collated some characteristic Russian proverbs that regard the Czar and his position, and find much ...

    Article : 186 words
  27. A BUSY TIME FOR THE BIRDS.

    Some time ago a warde[?] entered a cell and found that the prisoner had not finished his allowance of bread, and was trying to hide it. ...

    Article : 156 words
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