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  2. HUMOUR. THE SONG.

    Life would be one grand sweet song it so many people did not insist on singing. ...

    Article : 25 words
  3. POWER OF EXPRESSION GONE.

    "Was your French chauffeur seriously hurt in that automobile accident." "Yes; he was knocked practically speechless." ...

    Article : 30 words
  4. GIVING GABBY A FRIGHT.

    Three lively students were invited t a friend's house, and. stayed until the early morning. They engaged a cab, and on arriving ...

    Article : 103 words
  5. SWEET AND LOW.

    At a certain seaside resort, where there are theatres on the pier, acting is sometimes carried on with difficulty, owing to the untimely whoopings of the "simens" ...

    Article : 168 words
  6. BREAKING THE SAD NEWS.

    "Mrs. Goldlumps," said the gentleman, as be took his seat in the luxurious drawingroom. "I—that is—please don't let yourself he unduly alarmed, but I have ...

    Article : 281 words
  7. HER LATEST LOVE.

    "Nell's just crazy over Shakspeare." "So he's her latest, is he? Where did she meet him?" ...

    Article : 21 words
  8. WILLING TO OBLIGE.

    "I may as well tell you. young man," said Miss Spooner's father, "that I" allays close up the house and turn out all lights by ten o'clock." ...

    Article : 47 words
  9. THE PRIZE.

    Fond Father: The man who marries my daughter, "sir, wine a prize. Guest: My word, that is a novel idea! Is it a money prize, or just a silver cup?. ...

    Article : 37 words
  10. DE BIGYKEL WIDCUT DE SADDEL.

    The following letter in said to have been written by a French Canadian to a bicycle firm in Montreal: — "mister T. J. Jones and companee, ...

    Article : 188 words
  11. HIS "GREATEST SORROW.

    Burt: I have no doubt you are sorry about your uncle"s death, notwithstanding it brought you into a lot of money." West: "Yes; he was doing, a good ...

    Article : 54 words
  12. THE SAME THING.

    McBristle: "Have you seen Dauber's latent colour studies?" " The Critic.: "No; but I lad the delirium tremens once." ...

    Article : 25 words
  13. THE BRUTE.

    Before you married you said you couldn't live without me," "Well, a man never knows what he can do without till he tries!" ...

    Article : 28 words
  14. FAITH STRONGER THAN SIGHT.

    Mr. A. was helping himself generously to the bash served at the seaside boarding-house. "How is it," said the wife, Mrs. A., ...

    Article : 50 words
  15. POOR LUCK WITH ALLIGATORS.

    When I got down into Mississippi I began to look for alligator'' thinking to find them basking in the sun on the banks of every creek and bayon, but three ...

    Article : 246 words
  16. FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

    He: And do you find that doing your own cooking is more economical? She: Oh, yes. My husband does not eat nearly so much now. ...

    Article : 30 words
  17. COURTSHIP EXPENSES.

    "But do you think you can support a wife?" "Of course. Why, we've been engaged two years." ...

    Article : 47 words
  18. KNEW HIS GUESS WAS GOOD.

    He was in a condition commonly described as "three sheets in the atmosphere" when he boarded a 11 o'clock car. He smiled happily, though rather ...

    Article : 257 words
  19. VERY EXPENSIVE.

    He: You are very dear to me, love. She: Then what did you do before you maned me? He: Saved money. ...

    Article : 28 words
  20. A NEWSBOY'S THEORY.

    A business man who died recently took a profound interest in the children of the poor. One day, after buying a paper from a very little newsboy, he thought ...

    Article : 160 words
  21. COULD HELP HIMSELF.

    Angelina: You know I oughtn't to be Sitting with you here. Papa said I wasn't to give you any encouragement. Edwin: Oh, that's all right. I don't ...

    Article : 36 words
  22. FATAL.

    Charley, who lives with his aunt and grandma, noticed that the regular black' pepperbox,was filled with red pepper. This startled him, and turning to his ...

    Article : 56 words
  23. HARD TIMES.

    Algy: Ferdy has had to economise fwghtfully since he got mawwied. Ethel: He has? Algy: Jove, yes. He's wolling his own ...

    Article : 32 words
  24. REAL THING.

    "Yes." remarked the bald headed, man, "my wife is president of a secret society. "Nonsense," rejoined the fussy old ...

    Article : 55 words
  25. NOT ENCOURAGED.

    Her Mother: Look here, Ernie, I thought your father told you not to encourage that young man? Ernie: Oh, dear, mamma, that young ...

    Article : 31 words
  26. THE SONG OF THE BULLET,

    Layin out in the rice fields', th' mud half to th' knees; Hearin' th' lizards croakin' up in th' bamboo trees, ...

    Article : 456 words
  27. HABIT.

    The captain of a certain fire brigade went one day into a train and sat down beside a fat men. The fat man took a cigar from his pocket and put it in his ...

    Article : 150 words
  28. NEVER MET ONE.

    "'Bromasen tells me he has never met the woman he could marry." "So they all tell me." "All who?" ...

    Article : 30 words
  29. A RECIPE FOR SUCCESS.

    This is my advice for young men seeking success: Fix your eye on England, fix it on Alaska, fix it on the moon, collect beetles, desire tram-tickets, ...

    Article : 79 words
  30. GOOD ADVERTISING MATERIAL.

    Clergyman: "I shall denounce this play, sir. It is shockingly immoral." Mauager: "All right. Just send around a copy of the sermon for our ...

    Article : 35 words
  31. DISCOVERED.

    "Now, children," said the teacher, "let us see what you remember about the animal kingdom and the domestic animals that belong to it. You have ...

    Article : 86 words
  32. A HAIRLESS ACADEMICIAN.

    Mr. Furniss tells one or two good tilings about tbe transformation of faces by the removal of hair. After Professor Hubert von Herkomor had thus been ...

    Article : 380 words
  33. THE REAL SMART SET.

    She: 'So you think that men are smarter than women, do you?" He:"Some men. but not all." She "Well, what men are smarter?" ...

    Article : 35 words
  34. A PHILOSOPHER AS A FISHERMAN

    Herbert Spencer once won a curious wager. He was staying for a fishing holiday in the house of Sir Francis Powell, the president of the Scottish. Academy, ...

    Article : 149 words
  35. MATINEE ACCESSORIES.

    George: "Did you have a good time " Gertie: "Oh, lovely, lovely." George: "Was the play good? " Gertie: "No, but I had oh my new ...

    Article : 52 words
  36. LEMONADE WITH A WINK,

    Sam Jones was a strict teetotaller. One day he was terribly troubled with a twitchy, eye. He went into a restaurant for a bottle of lemonade. The ...

    Article : 88 words
  37. SAYINGS OF A SMART CHILD.

    Nod: You don't mean to say your child said all those bright things?" "Todd: Yes, sir," Why I didn't know he could read ...

    Article : 24 words
  38. CANDOUR,

    Artist (at work): Now, give me your honest opinion of this picture. Visitor (who fancies himself a critic): It's 'utterly worthless! ...

    Article : 37 words
  39. SHE HAD HER WAY.

    A foreign ambassador was a visitor at a shooting lodge at Atholl, and called at a well-known clothing establishment, for a shooting cape. ...

    Article : 192 words
  40. ALONG WAIT.

    A certain old maid of nervous tekperament had spent the greater part of a long life in a Scottish village. Amongst other eccentricilies she had for many years ...

    Article : 175 words
  41. CERTAIN TEST.

    Daughter: Isometimes wonder if Jack really loves me. Brother: Well, you needn't. I've been borrowing money off him for the last ...

    Article : 53 words
  42. THE IRON HAND.

    The Groom The master, sure,is a fusby owld boy. The Cook:An' 'tis your fault av he is that. Do as Qi do, an he'll hov no more ...

    Article : 44 words
  43. IN MANCHURIA.

    First War Correspondent. "I wish I were back in Fleet-street. Secon War Correspondent Why? First War Correspondent: I'd be able ...

    Article : 32 words
  44. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 62 words
  45. QUITE A PRETENTIOUS STRUCTURE.

    Maria: "What did Martha's new hat look like? John: "Goodness, I can't tell It looked more like a basket phaeton full ...

    Article : 38 words
  46. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 3 words
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