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  2. A NICE TIME COMING.

    She: You won't object, Ernest dear, to having my dear, mamma to live with us after we are married, will you? He (a physician): Oh, not at all. I ...

    Article : 75 words
  3. A FEELER.

    He: Are you good at eonundrums? She: Yes., He: Well, here is one: "If I were to propose, what would you say? ...

    Article : 27 words
  4. I GUESS WELL SMOKE.

    All Portage county admired the [?] Senator M. A. Hanna for what he said to A street car conductor while in that county. It was on the trip from ...

    Article : 126 words
  5. CAN YOU CONJUGATE THE VERB KISS

    Riohard Grant White, the eminent philologist, was asked once upon a time to conjugate, the verb "kiss." He believed and maintained that English is ...

    Article : 94 words
  6. HUMOUR.

    "You say Smith leads a dual life" "Yes; he's a bull on the Stock Exchange and a bear at home." Bachelor; "What brand of smokes ...

    Article : 485 words
  7. HISTORY SIDELIGHTS.

    Having a few moments of leisure, Napoleon dumped another European king into the waste basket, and put one of his relatives on the vacant throne. ...

    Article : 38 words
  8. HE KNEW IT.

    "This," smiled the fond wife, as she passed a plate of dessert to her husband, "is cottage pudding. I made it myself." The man tasted it. ...

    Article : 69 words
  9. POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

    Pessimists thrive on disappointments. Love is the only cure for feminine coquetry. Some men seem to have the horseless ...

    Article : 99 words
  10. QUITE IMPOSSIBLE.

    Mrs. Jones: It's raining, and Mrs. Smith wants to go home, and I have no umbrella to lend her except my new guinea one. Can't I let her have vours? ...

    Article : 56 words
  11. A CHILD'S LOGIC.

    The other day a class in spelling was going on over a lesson in words ol two syllables. One of the words was "mummy." ...

    Article : 118 words
  12. BXPECTATION.

    I sat up at nights waiting for Opportunity to knock at tax door. After a while I saw a beautiful woman in Greek garb coming down the street. ...

    Article : 79 words
  13. WHEN THREE IS A CROWD.

    Tom: I suppose you spent a pleasant evening with you? best girl. Dick: Pleasant? Huh! a fellow can't make love to his girl in a crowd. ...

    Article : 58 words
  14. HIS SHY ALTERNATIVE.

    They worked in the same mill. He was so painfully shy that proposing in the ordinary way was out of the question. So, as a way of escape, he had the banns ...

    Article : 113 words
  15. HER STATUS.

    "Why do you call her a 'fin de siecle, girl'?" "What's the matter with that?" "Why, since that means literally 'the ...

    Article : 52 words
  16. ONE APIECE.

    The discontented author frowned darkly, "That man Carnegie is a Tucky fellow," he said. ...

    Article : 60 words
  17. AN ANTE-ELECTION THOUGHT.

    Political Boss: I saw a little joke in all almanac to-day, "Where there's a will there's a way—to. break it." His Lieu enant: Yes? ...

    Article : 55 words
  18. A MEMORABLE EVENT.

    A clergyman who was aboutto officiate at a christening, noticed that all the members of the christening party seemed to stand in awe of the father, a collier, ...

    Article : 133 words
  19. HE WANTED THE TIP.

    A man entered the police station and said to the sergeant: "I would like to have an interview with that burglar you arrested for breaking into my house last ...

    Article : 88 words
  20. PAGANINI'S SABBATH.

    An incident in the life of Paganini comes to us from Liverpool. The great violinist was visiting friends in the suburbs of that city, at the house of a lady ...

    Article : 121 words
  21. TABLES TURNED.

    Flo: i'm just going to my dressmaker's about a new dress. Yon know the new one I got home yesterday—well, it's just like one my housemaid has got. ...

    Article : 56 words
  22. HER MONEY'S WORTH.

    When Mrs. Siddons was acting in the "Grecian Daughter' her part was one night taken by an understudy. But the character of Isabella was a moving one, ...

    Article : 92 words
  23. CHICAGO BETTER.

    Wabash: How long did it take you to do that picture? French Artist (proudly): I am ongage, upon eet for seex months. ...

    Article : 45 words
  24. BEACONSFIELD'S "NEVERS."

    An inquiring and aspiring person once asked Beaconsfield to [?]ell him the secret of social success. "Never discuss the authorship of the Latters of Junius" ...

    Article : 130 words
  25. SNUBBED.

    Adelina Patti enjoys social prestige, but has a dislike of snobbishness. In her youth she was treated coldly by a certain London matron at whose house ...

    Article : 93 words
  26. NOT WHOLLY DISTRUSTFUL.

    "When one doctor is sick he always sends for some ether physician," said the argumentative person. "Yes." ...

    Article : 54 words
  27. THEIR ANXIETY.

    Some time ago the Supermtendent of a Sunday school had oceasion to address a class of young boys. He said:— "I am glad to see so many new faces ...

    Article : 98 words
  28. ONLY MODERATELY GUILTY.

    "Dobby, I bear you have been fighting." "Only a little hit sir. The [?]oy I licked wasn's much of a fighter." ...

    Article : 28 words
  29. THEIR DIAMOND WEDDING.

    "But, mamma," protested Miss Bulyoll, "why are you sending put invitations fox a diamond wedding? You haven't been married nearly long enough for ...

    Article : 53 words
  30. EXPERIENCE.

    Mrs. Frieuderly; But, honestly, what was your real reason for refusing her dinner invotation? Mrs. Charpler: Experience. I used to ...

    Article : 28 words
  31. DANIEL WAS LET OFF.

    When a lad Daniel Webster was one day called upon by the teacher fo[?] punishment. His hands happened te be very dirty. Knowing this, he wet the palm ...

    Article : 127 words
  32. HER NEW VOCABULARY.

    She possessed a mind diseerning. That was stored and crammed with learning, And hen thoughts, for ever burning, ...

    Article : 137 words
  33. TROUBLE ENOUGH AT HOME.

    "Do you think there's going to be war between Russia and Japan?" asked the oracle. The man with the 'possum-skin cap ...

    Article : 98 words
  34. BETTER STILL.

    "Ma, [?]in I go over an' play wid Micky Houlihan [?]" "No. Yes know we have nothin' to do "Then lemme go over an' lick him." ...

    Article : 29 words
  35. DRINKING MAKES YOU NERVOUS.

    Hungry Hank: "Dis paper says dat drinkin' makes yer nervous. Wouldn't dat jar you?" Dry Dan: "Well, sometimes I git ...

    Article : 60 words
  36. CAUSE FOR CHEERFULNESS.

    Cranky Husband (at a reception): I wish you were as lively aa that woman Wife: Humphi No Wonder she's jolly; she's a rich widow. ...

    Article : 29 words
  37. A MONKEY IN CHURCH.

    Pere Carbasson brought up an orangoutang, which became so fond of him that, wherever be went, it was always desirous of accompanying him. ...

    Article : 232 words
  38. THE OFFICE BOY'S MEMORY.

    Editor-in-Chief (to office boy): Bennie, whore's the theatre tickets I sent you after? Bennie: I forgot 'em. ...

    Article : 57 words
  39. A PERILOUS PROPOSAL.

    Scene: A Scottish football match. Stalwart policeman standing within the ground, unconsciously obstructing the view of thc game, is accosted by a small ...

    Article : 102 words
  40. A MORE DEADLY VARIETY.

    "Rose and Mabel have pover spoken since they took part in the privated the atricals." "Professional jealonsy[?]" ...

    Article : 29 words
  41. DOMESTIC FELICITY.

    She; What would you do if I were to [?]ief He: Jnst what you would if I did. She (weeping): I didn't think you'd for ...

    Article : 36 words
  42. THE MODERN SCHOOL OF ALLITERALISTS.

    We walk in the [?]de, white wood and watch For the whinnying wind to woo, In wistful wile, with the whiskers wan. ...

    Article : 151 words
  43. A CONVINCING ESSAY.

    An eleven-year-old boy attending the Comuel-road School, at Walthamstow, who was set to write an essay on "the farmer," evolved the following logical ...

    Article : 150 words
  44. AT THE IRONMONGER'S.

    Stranger; I have three hundred burglar alarms I would like to sell you. Hardware Merchant: Do you manufacture them? ...

    Article : 32 words
  45. THE ORDINARY MAN.

    Jes' a awdinary man! Has de mostes' fun I can. Does de work [?] has to do, An' does a heap o' restin' too. ...

    Article : 72 words
  46. LUCKY DOLPHIE.

    Ada; Dolphie is continually pressing me to give him an answer. Blanche: Well, why don't you? Ada: Well—er—I rather like being ...

    Article : 28 words
  47. REVENGE.

    "There goes Mabel in her new gows. Look [?]" "N[?]. indeed, I. wen't. Whenever I have a new gows she cither pretends not ...

    Article : 45 words
  48. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 6 words
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