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  2. THE JUSTIFICATION.

    "I think it is so silly to see a baby biting its toes," remarked the young mother. "Well. I don't," snake up the young ...

    Article : 47 words
  3. COMPLETELY CURED.

    Mrs. McWilliams, a bride of two months, could not understand why her husband spoke of everything about the house as his, She resolved to speak to ...

    Article : 143 words
  4. HUMOUR.

    Many a profit is without honour, evren in its own business. ...

    Article : 174 words
  5. A GOOD REASON.

    Cyclist (to driver of waggon which is blocking the road): Hullo, there, pull out and let me by[?]" Farmer: Oh, I dunno ez I'm in ...

    Article : 76 words
  6. EXPLAINED.

    The New Boarder: Why does the landlady persist in burning the sausages black erery morning? The Old Timer: Don't you know? ...

    Article : 36 words
  7. HOMER.

    Recently a little Chicago girl, just bening her classics, was asked if she knew who Homer was. She replied: "Homer was a fine old poet, whose chief works ...

    Article : 36 words
  8. IN THE LIFT.

    Clerk: Don't you ever feel ill going up and down in the lift all day long? Lift Boy: Yes, 'sir. "Is it the motion of going down?" ...

    Article : 61 words
  9. AN AWKWARD MISTAKE.

    The prisoner, soon to be tried for stealing a horse, was sitting in his cell in an attitude of deep dejection, when the gaoler opened the door and a roan of most ...

    Article : 69 words
  10. A SPENDTHRIFT.

    Hunks: I wonder that your son should be such a spendthrift. Closefist: I can't understand it either; send that, boy away to spend the ...

    Article : 37 words
  11. PRIDE.

    "Father," said his son, looking up from a book, "what is pride?" "Pride!" returned thc father. "Pride Why—a—eh, surely you know what pride ...

    Article : 154 words
  12. A TREASURE.

    The following testimonial was recently given to an illiterate servant girl:— "This is to certify that the bearer has been in my service for one year, less ...

    Article : 82 words
  13. GRABS.

    "I suppose there will never be an end to grabs until everything is grabbed." "Oh! not even then, because the people who haven't grabbed anything will be ...

    Article : 40 words
  14. A POSER.

    "Have you been fishiug?" said his father. The boy was silent. There was evidently a great struggle going on within him. ...

    Article : 66 words
  15. AN ESTIMATE.

    "Hiow much does Gabbler make a year?" "About five thousand." "Haw do you know?" ...

    Article : 27 words
  16. TALK.

    "Oh, talk is cheap." "Is it I guess you never paid a [?] yor for pleading your case." ...

    Article : 22 words
  17. SCIENCE AND MATRIMONY

    Ho (the accepted one, enthusiastically discussing their projects for the future): I think it would be a splendid idea, when we marry, to hare the kitchen fitted with ...

    Article : 79 words
  18. GENEROUS.

    An angler, fishing in a Northumberland stream, was accosted by a gamekeeper. "Lord Widmouth, he's th' reets o' this ...

    Article : 78 words
  19. HIS FIRST CIGAR.

    A boy—a match.— A strong cigar— A period of bliss—then gloom— A doctor—a ...

    Article : 25 words
  20. ITS USES.

    "Fat has got an awful gash on his face." "Does it seem to hurt him much?" "No. He uses it to eat with." ...

    Article : 26 words
  21. WHICH?

    Briggs: I hear that Jones is completely knocked out by overwork. Mire Briggs: Business or pleasure? ...

    Article : 22 words
  22. DEBT.

    "Debt," remarked the frugal man, "is a terrible thing." "It is," replied the cold citizen. "Nothing annoys me more than debt." ...

    Article : 43 words
  23. BEHIND HER BACK.

    "She's very studious," said one woman. "Yes," answered the other. "And doesn't seem to care for ...

    Article : 65 words
  24. WANT OF BELIEF.

    Mr. Leonard Williams, for some years the "Times" correspondent at Madrid, tolls some curious stories which show that even in religious matters the gld ...

    Article : 375 words
  25. FRACTIONS.

    A: Let's see, the married men all have better halves, don't they? B.: Yes. A.: Then what do bachelors have? B.: Better quarters. ...

    Article : 29 words
  26. THE ANGRY SHARK.

    The man with the wooden leg was swimming boldly through the waters beyond the life line. A hungry shark beneath the surface saw him, and swam ...

    Article : 92 words
  27. POETRY AND PROSE.

    The visitor: Are you interested in this problem of the arms of the Venus de Milo? Some professor is trying to find out how they broke off. ...

    Article : 51 words
  28. PRESSURE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

    Ethel: So Daisy is married at last. How did sho come to take the plunge? Maudie: She didn't. She was shoved off by four younger sisters ...

    Article : 34 words
  29. BENEVOLENCE.

    Little man at the theatre, vainly trying to catch a glimpse over tho shoulders of a big man in front of him, at length touches him on the shoulder. ...

    Article : 75 words
  30. SHE KNEW ONE.

    "I Lave never met," he said, "more than two really lovely women." "Ah," ehe said, looking up innocently into his face, "who was the other?" ...

    Article : 29 words
  31. QUITE UNNECESSARY.

    "Isuppose," said the visitor, "your con stant prayer is that you may ever be poor and humble?" "Not exactly," replied the village ...

    Article : 45 words
  32. A CURIOUS HABIT.

    "What a curious habit ne have," remarked the street-car philosopher, "of saying that a man is worth so many thousands of pounds. I know men who ...

    Article : 111 words
  33. INTERRUPTED.

    "Then," said the first mosquito, "you were still singing when the man endeavoured to strike you?" "Oh, yes! I had just finished the ...

    Article : 34 words
  34. KIPLING'S ORIGINAL.

    "That tramp is a genius." "You don't say?" "I do, though. He struck me for a dime, saying he was a literary man; ten ...

    Article : 77 words
  35. THE VERY SAME.

    "This is not the umbrella I lent you six months ago," remarked Henspot, as he surveyed the article Whiffet had returned. ...

    Article : 48 words
  36. THE OTHER SIDE.

    Tommy: Pa, what is the difference between economy and stinginess? Pa: Saving on my own clothes is economy, and saving on your mother's is ...

    Article : 32 words
  37. BROKEN HEART.

    "I am supposed to die of a broken heart," said the unmanageable actress. "Now, how am I to know how a person with a broken heart behaves?" ...

    Article : 56 words
  38. A THANKFUL SCOT.

    "An' hoo's tlie guidwife, Sandy?" said one farmer to another as they met at the market and exchanged snuff-boxes. "Did ye no hear that she's dead and ...

    Article : 121 words
  39. DOING HIM A CHARITY.

    First Actress: I wish I had enough money to foe charitable. Second Actress: What would you do? First Actress: Refuse youug Goldeigh. ...

    Article : 29 words
  40. THE HAT BOX.

    A negro preacher down south has discovered the real cause of the recent volcanic disasters. He says: "De earf, my friends, resolves on axles, as we all know. ...

    Article : 116 words
  41. WHISKEY.

    Mrs. Borem: I am opposed to intoxicating liquors as a beverage, yet I believe that liquor rightly used is a benefit to humanity. I am fully convinced that ...

    Article : 59 words
  42. THE CANVASSER.

    "But we haven't a cockroach in the house," interrupted the woman at the door. "Well, you will haye m a few days, ...

    Article : 53 words
  43. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 140 words
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