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  2. A PAGE OF FUN Warned.

    Meekly made up his mind that he was not going to be bossed any longer by his wife, so when he went home he called out, imperiously: "Laura!" ...

    Article : 125 words
  3. Bad to Worse.

    Lillie Walter was the proud owner of a black mongrel whick was a perfect nuisance to the rest of the household. But Walter was so devoted lo ...

    Article : 138 words
  4. No title

    "No, my dear-my husband won't have anything to do with buying and selling shares now. He burnt his fingers last ye ar. and they've given him cold'feet." fe Kiom the "Sketch." ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 31 words
  5. More Than Satisfied.

    The confident traveller entered the groeer'e shop in full expectation of a large order. "Good morning!" said be, beaming, "and now, Mr. Moggs, what about ...

    Article : 91 words
  6. Quite a Gentleman.

    "Henderson," said the master to his butler ono morniug, "herc is the address of my tailor. Go down there and order a. dress suit." ...

    Article : 79 words
  7. No Need.

    A farmer recently paid a visit to a neighbour, and as he passed along by the side of the fields he made a mental note of the fact that no scarecrows were ...

    Article : 89 words
  8. She Was Suspicious.

    As Widow Watts bent industriously over her washtub she was treated to polite conversation by. a man friend, who presently turned the conversation to ...

    Article : 96 words
  9. No title

    Jones ((give g a description of his wife whom he Mas brought on a day trip and lost): "And-er-two very pronounced dimples." Constable: "Chin or knees?" From London "Punch," by spacial arrangemeot with the proprietors. ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 40 words
  10. Obvious.

    A member of the Bar was seen to be sketching in court. A nute was handed to him. It came from tho Judge, who had a sense of humour. The note ...

    Article : 99 words
  11. A Hard One.

    A witty Irishman was once invited to a large dinner party at Dublin in the hope that he would amuse and divert his host's guests. But from the beginning to the ...

    Article : 75 words
  12. Fishy.

    Au enthusiastic fisherman was telling some friends about a proposed fishing trip to a lake in Scotland. "Are there any trout there?" asked one ...

    Article : 50 words
  13. Successful.

    For the.nature lesson the teacher brought in a glass bowl containing a goldfish. This she placed in a prominent position on her table. ...

    Article : 75 words
  14. Going Up.

    Read from the bottom up:Let you off about hero. Time and they Hear you in' ...

    Article : 42 words
  15. Marking His Place.

    Tho old geut, stauding in the long queue outside the picture palace felt some one touch his back from behind. Turning sharply round he saw a youth ...

    Article : 85 words
  16. Aberdeen Again.

    Salvation Army Girl (to old Aberdonian): "Will you give a shilling for thc Lord?" "How auld are ye, kissie?" ...

    Article : 41 words
  17. Literary Giants.

    She was very literary and he was not He had spent a harrowing evening discussing authors of whom he knew nothing, and their books, of which he knew less. ...

    Article : 68 words
  18. Tricks in Every Trade.

    The storv is told of a plumber who preseutcd a bill of £10 to a retired milliouaire for repairing a pipe. The millionaire glanced at it and handed out a sovereigu. ...

    Article : 72 words
  19. Dumbfounding.

    Citizen (to constable on duty).-"Excuse me. constable. Are you aware that the man you have arresled for refusing to give Iiis name and address is 'deaf and ...

    Article : 37 words
  20. Very Cool.

    The landlord of a London hotel called a boarder to him one day and said: "Look here! I want yon to pay your board bill, and yon must! I've asked ...

    Article : 75 words
  21. On the Bend.

    On pleasure bent, The chauffeur tore, He hit a bus, And knew no more. ...

    Article : 29 words
  22. No title

    Willie: "Did Mr. Edison make the first talkinp machine, pa?" Pa: "No, my son. God made the first talking machine, but Edison made the first one that could be shut off. ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 34 words
  23. Queer!

    The musical comedy was on the eve of production, and tbe orchestra had just rehearsed a selection for the lifth time. "Thank you. gentlemen," said the ...

    Article : 66 words
  24. Retort Courteous.

    "Had a puncture, my friend?" ashed the passer-by, with an air of interest. The Unhappy motor cyclist looked np. am swallowed his feelings with a huge gulp ...

    Article : 49 words
  25. Use Both Hands.

    Pat. the hod earner (to the earnonter. who was vigorously stickinT his fingers muttering.at the same time): "Don't yon know how to drive a nail yet without ...

    Article : 51 words
  26. Salesmanship.

    "Why do you wear rubber gloves when cutting hair?" asked be customer. "For the purpose of keeping our celebrated bair restorer from eausins bair ...

    Article : 38 words
  27. PARLEY-VOO.

    A French visitor gives these improssns of London:"You always make contradictions. You drink 7.e whisky-he is strong, you put in ...

    Article : 53 words
  28. The Search Diligent.

    Tirolesa Shopper: "Thanks for showing me ali these silks. but I'm not buying myself. [was just looking for a neighbour." Weary Shongirl: "Do von think she ...

    Article : 44 words
  29. FROZEN OUT.

    Plumbers may thrive, but the return winter has put pickpockets out of work again. They have no chance when every man ...

    Article : 31 words
  30. MIND YOI.

    hs:H' the trouble in the Divorce Oour is careed by men being in two minds about their wives. At first they so out of their minds about ...

    Article : 40 words
  31. CELL Oil SELL?

    Poliic cells on wheels are to appear in London. "Anxious Felon" writes:-"Will these 'ere traffic, jams go on or come off the ...

    Article : 28 words
  32. IF AT FIKST

    M a Paria railway station a fremlmon waiting to avenge an insult to his sweethear stabbed thc wrong mn. With typical Gallic courtesy lie raised ...

    Article : 35 words
  33. Hard Hit.

    "What's wrong. old man? You look bino." "Had a scrap with my wiro this morning." ...

    Article : 47 words
  34. Gates of Heaven.

    An American tourist, thinking to get a rise ont of an old '"i-'iUunl uninister, remarked. "Don't von thank if a man ieft enough money to your choreh he'd get ...

    Article : 63 words
  35. The Simple Truth.

    Tho straightforward young lady believed in always telling the truth. She married a very sentimental young mau. "My darling," he rhapsodied, "surely ...

    Article : 57 words
  36. MORE PARTICULAR.

    He:-"My auccstols came over with William the Conqueror." She: "Lucky they dill! The immigra tion [?] are stricter now" ...

    Article : 18 words
  37. PLUMBER'S "PIPING" TUNKS.

    Freeze a jolly good fellow, aud Steadily solder to solde. ...

    Article : 17 words
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