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  2. APAGE The Western Mail OF FUN

    I am glad that I never knew Simpkin really well. To be sure, I asked him to spend a week-end with me in the country, but I ...

    Article : 494 words
  3. No title

    Lady (confiding secret): "Mind yer, yer must treat this as strictly infra dig. Wot I means ter say is, it mustn't go' any further!" (From "The Humorist") ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 34 words
  4. Letter Perfect.

    An amateur theatrical company was arranging for the performance of a play that contained a rich variety of characters. Owing to this fact little progress ...

    Article : 113 words
  5. The Bishop's Blunder.

    The bishop had been asked to preside at the Christmas celebrations for children and given by the children. The entertainment was to take place in a large ...

    Article : 116 words
  6. A Good Meal.

    "Yassir," said the sailor, emptying his pint mug, "we was starvin'—mad with thirst, an' 'unger when we was on that wreck." ...

    Article : 51 words
  7. Right About.

    The editor of a sporting journal interviewed a conceited applicant for the post of reporter. After some time the editor, who saw through his pretensions, said ...

    Article : 61 words
  8. No title

    Young Man (attempting olive branch after the quarrel): "I suppose lt's no earthly j use suggesting a dinner and dance somewhere?" Girl: "No, no earthly use." Young Mau: "Quite. Er—that's why I didn't suggest it." ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 42 words
  9. Never Seen Him.

    Conjurer: "Now, ladies and gentlemen, to help me in this little trick I want the services of a little boy." Soon a little fellow stepped on to the ...

    Article : 59 words
  10. A Rapid Speed.

    He had just bought a motor car. His wife went with him on a few expeditions, and she did not hesitate to criticise her husband's driving. ...

    Article : 65 words
  11. She Knew.

    Young Thing: "I have brought this book back. Mother says it isn't fit for me to read." Librarian: "I think your mother must ...

    Article : 38 words
  12. A REASON FOR EVERYTHING.

    This is a true bridge story. She was only a beginner, but she meant to ke [?]p her end up, and so she was not at all abashed when her partner said, "Do you ...

    Article : 57 words
  13. A Wonderful Church.

    English Clergyman (crossing the Atlantic): And when you arrive i[?] London, my dear lady, don't fail to see St. Paul's and Westminster Abbey. ...

    Article : 53 words
  14. Too Steady.

    A man who applied for a salesman's job urged that he was very steady. His prospective employer rang up his last firm of emplovers and asked them to verify ...

    Article : 42 words
  15. HIS LESSON.

    Teacher: "What do we learn from the story of Samson?" Tommy (with unpleasant results still showing): "That it doesn't pay ter have ...

    Article : 30 words
  16. COUNTING THE COST.

    The man with the hoe had just finished planting his sweet peas. "There, said he Straightening up. "I've spoiled a guinea pair of shoe and ruined a 30/ pair of ...

    Article : 58 words
  17. GREAT OCCASIONS.

    "I only drink champagne on really big occasions." "And what do you cal[?] a big occasion?" "When I drink champagne." ...

    Article : 25 words
  18. MANY STRIPES.

    Newly-promoted Police Sergeant: We don't get these stripes for hanging about street corners, you know. Observant Old Offender: No. You'd ...

    Article : 31 words
  19. CHEAP LUXURY.

    Anti-tobacco orator: "You go into a tobacconist's shop—yo[?] place sixpe[?]ce on the counter—you ger a packet of cigarettes—and you get more! In the wake ...

    Article : 44 words
  20. THE SUSPECTED GUEST.

    Theatrical Landlady.—"Mary, I've just let the front room to the sword swallower, so you must always be carnal to count the cutlery." ...

    Article : 26 words
  21. No title

    "There are times, Basil, when I feel you are losing interest in me." (From London "Punch," by special arrangement with-the proprietors.) ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 24 words
  22. DOWN AND OUT.

    "At least once in my life I glas to be down and out." "When was that?" "After my first ride in an aeroplane." ...

    Article : 342 words
  23. THE ART GALLERY.

    "I'm proud of my paintings, and am thinking of holding an exhibition of my work," said the artist. "Take my tip," said the callous critic, ...

    Article : 49 words
  24. MAKES CERTAIN.

    Bob: My wife kisses me every time I go into the house. Rob: That's what I call real affection. Bob: No—thorough investigation. ...

    Article : 245 words
  25. Two Sides.

    Landlady: "I think you had better board elsewhere." Boarder: "Yes, I often had." Landlady. "Often had what?" ...

    Article : 80 words
  26. An Old Course.

    Mrs. Green: "You simply must stay with us; we're close to a beautiful old golf course. Visitor: "How old is it?" ...

    Article : 83 words
  27. The Death Rate.

    The Major (reading from the town's health report): "The death-rate during the year was "twelve point nine." Councillor: What do you mean? ...

    Article : 85 words
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