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  2. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 18 words
  3. HE WAS ALTERED.

    A Scottish tradesman stepped into a barber's shop, and whilst he was being shaved the barber was wondering if this were a new customer. ...

    Article : 70 words
  4. HUMOUR.

    The Husband (during the quarrel): "You're always making bargains. Was there erer a time when you didn't?" The Wife:- "Yes, eir, on my ...

    Article : 36 words
  5. AMERICANISATION.

    "What is meant by naturalisation?"— "Naturalisation is the process by means of which an evicted Irish tenant becomes an American policeman." ...

    Article : 23 words
  6. MISPLACED SYMPATHY.

    Benevolent Old Gent: I am sorry. Johnny, to see you have a black eye.— Promising Youth: You go home and be sorry for your own little boy—he's got ...

    Article : 33 words
  7. JUST THE REVERSE.

    Mother: "Fraukie, are you teaching that parrot to swear?" Frankie: "No, mother, I'm just elling it what it mustn't say." ...

    Article : 24 words
  8. APPROPRIATE.

    The Mounment Man: (after-several abortive suggestions) "How would simply 'Gone home' do?" Mrs. Newweeds: "I guess that would ...

    Article : 41 words
  9. IN DOUBLE HARNESS.

    Jack: Smith asked me to come to his home this evening. Says he's going to celebrate his golden wedding.—Gladys: Why, he's been married only three years. ...

    Article : 45 words
  10. KNEW HIS RIGHTS.

    Landlady: "What's the matter with the pie?" Boarder: " 'Tain't fit for a pig, and I ain't goin' to eat it." ...

    Article : 25 words
  11. PAIRING OFF.

    Bronson: "Let's make a bargain." Woodson: "Well?" Bronson: "If you won't talk about your new auto I won't talk about my ...

    Article : 26 words
  12. MOTOR MUSIC.

    "Hey! Look out! Can't you hear me toot my horn?" "Oh,"excuse me. It'ought ye was one of de musikers. " ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 25 words
  13. (HE)ARTLESS.

    Model: "Have you heard poor old Greene has had his studio burned down and all his pictures destroyed in the fire? Such a nice fellow, too. " ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 44 words
  14. AN EASY ONE.

    "Now, Harry," asked the teacher of the juvenile class, "what is the meal we eat in the morning called?" "Oatmeal," was the little fellow's ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 29 words
  15. DASHED HOPES.

    " 'Scrumpty's Magazine.'—I enclose a little poem that I just dashed off.—Yours, Vernal Ryme." "Vernal Ryme,—We return herewith, ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 30 words
  16. CHOICE OF EVILS.

    Mother: "Cynthia, I wish you wouldn't go out and play golf so much with that young Phoozle." Cynthia: "Why mother, if I don't do ...

    Article : 39 words
  17. THE REASON.

    Tom: "I'm engaged to Hattie Flippe. Congratulate me." Dick: "I couldn't, conscientiously." Tom: "Why not?" ...

    Article : 29 words
  18. HONOUR WHERE HONOUR IS DUE.

    Tom: "Why do vou always call your mother "the mater'?" Dick: "Any woman who could succeed in marrying off my Jour ...

    Article : 35 words
  19. ALL THE SAME.

    Mrs. Brown: "Ah—if I were only a man!" Mr. Brown: "You'd be just as foolish as men are—go and marry some ...

    Article : 32 words
  20. A COMFORTABLE COMPROMISE.

    A parson, seeing a lazv man standing" idiy at the corner, approached him, and said: "Don't you know, my dear sir. that ...

    Article : 66 words
  21. THAT SOOTHED HER.

    It was the first rift in the lute. Jack Brown, returning from the city to his cosy little home in the suburb, found his six-months' bride in tears. ...

    Article : 120 words
  22. IT PAID HIM.

    First Literary Man: "Did you [?] what a success De Quille made with his last novel?" Second Literary Man: "No, what was ...

    Article : 152 words
  23. AN OLD MAN'S CONUNDRUM.

    Everybody in the company had propounded a riddle of some kind except an old gentleman Being importuned to contribute his share he asked this ...

    Article : 68 words
  24. EXPERIENTTA DOCET.

    Editor (to budding novelist): Yes, that yarn of yours was very good. You appear to have had some experience in fiction.—The Aspirant (cheerfully): Oh, ...

    Article : 41 words
  25. A LUCKY HIT.

    Unsuccessful Sportsman (to gamekeeper): "When I was in Australia I shot the biggest kangaroo the natives said they'd ever seen!" ...

    Article : 34 words
  26. THE VIOLINIST SCORED.

    One of the greatest of living Violinists not long ago proved himself Both proud and ingenious. A millionaire French bootmaker invited him to dine, and after ...

    Article : 140 words
  27. HER EXPERIENCE.

    Applicant: "No, ma'am. I couldn't work where there was children." Mrs. Keephouse: "But we advertised for a girl who understood children." ...

    Article : 40 words
  28. THE WORTHIEST COO.

    A Scottish farmer one day called to a farm lad, "Here, Tam, gang roon and gi'e the coos a cabbage each, but min' ye gie the biggest to the coo that gi'es ...

    Article : 83 words
  29. NOT MS FAULT.

    A first-grade boy brought a perfect spelling pappr home for several weeks; and then suddenly began to miss five and six out of ten. ...

    Article : 63 words
  30. SERMON ON MARRIAGE.

    May: "Our pastor preached a sermon on marriage last Sunday," Edith: "Did it seem to have a stimulating effect?" ...

    Article : 53 words
  31. ACCOMMODATING.

    Mistress (to new servant): "Mary, we have breakfast at eight." Servant: "Well, mum, if I am not down by that time, don't wait." ...

    Article : 26 words
  32. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 169 words
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