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  2. Flotsam and Jetsam

    Tommy: "O! Ouch! Stop that!" Mamma: "Why, Tommy, aren't you ashamed? I wouldn't cry that way if it was my hair that was being combed." ...

    Article : 47 words
  3. WOULD KN W LATER.

    Patient: "Now, doctor, what's the matter with me, anyway?" The Consulting Physician: "My dear sir, do you suppose that if we knew what ...

    Article : 43 words
  4. An Irregular Language.

    A Frenchman thirsting for linguistic superiority recently began a course of English lessons with a teacher of languages. After toiling conscientiously through a good many exercises ...

    Article : 264 words
  5. A WOMAN AND AN UMBRELLA.

    "Why is a woman like an umbrella?" asked the exchange editor. "Because she's made of ribs and attached to a Stick." replied the information editor. ...

    Article : 242 words
  6. THE BRIDE'S TRAGEDY.

    The bride of a brief month crouched in a corner of a divan—crouched among her gorgeous pillows, while the bitter tears streamed down and stained the delicate ...

    Article : 194 words
  7. PLACING THE BLAME.

    "My dear," said the meek Mr. Newliwed, "I don't like to complain, but this omelot you made—" "What's the matter with it?" she ...

    Article : 56 words
  8. LOOKING FOR SPOTS.

    An old Irishman was sitting out in front of his house putting heroically at his pipe. He would light a match and pull and pull, then throw the match away, and light ...

    Article : 115 words
  9. A DOMESTIC CATASTROPHE.

    When the general superintendent of the household department is sick there is no amount of good-will on the part of the rest of the family that will induce things to run ...

    Article : 396 words
  10. AN ETON BOY'S LOVE-LETTER.

    Darling Rosy.-I got your letter and the stamps to-day. I went to Wilson minor and said to him you made eyes in church to my girl, then I bashed him on the [?]aw, ...

    Article : 262 words
  11. A DECIDED HIT.

    Shortly before St. Patrick's Day one of the young men in a fashionable suburb said to his confidential friend, "Watch me on the 17th, Dick. Talk about Solomon in all ...

    Article : 311 words
  12. OOCKSURE.

    At the moment when war was declared between France and Germany in 1870 the French were so sanguine of success, that the Parisian streets abounded with such ...

    Article : 109 words
  13. CHLOROFORM MADE IT FRISKY.

    The Diesbach family of Atchison, Ks., had an old horse which had lived out its days of usefulness. At last it became so decrepit that it fell down in the barn and ...

    Article : 132 words
  14. A SURPRISE FOR THE REBERVE MAN.

    Some few years ago an Army Reserve Man, being out of employment for a considerable time, was forced to avail himself of the accommodation offered in the casual ...

    Article : 226 words
  15. THE COMET.

    "Vos you see dis 'comet, O'Rorke?" asked Swatze after tea the other evening. Of did; an whin Of kim home, siz Of till me woffe, Div yis see the comet, ...

    Article : 494 words
  16. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then If relished by the wisest men.-HUDIBRAS. First Cabman: "How's things?" Second Cabman: "Oh! dead slow! I ...

    Article : 405 words
  17. A "CUM GRANO" CAT STORY.

    The owner of a cat tells this story and assures its truth:— "I once had a cat which always sat up at the dinner-table with me, and had his ...

    Article : 152 words
  18. THE MAN WHO DIDN'T LIKE TRIPE.

    Liston, the English actor, delighted in a peculiar sort of practical joking in the public streets. Walking one day through Leicester-square with Mr. Miller, the ...

    Article : 283 words
  19. A SLIM LIEUTENANT.

    One day the officer commanding a Sussex Volunteer regiment met one of his Lieutenants on the rifle range. The Lieutenant was shooting, and he ...

    Article : 204 words
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