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  2. Flotsam and Jetsam

    Landlady :" I hope you slept well, sir ?" New Boarder:" No, I didn't. I've been troubled with insomnia." Landlady (greatly nettled) : " Look here, ...

    Article : 48 words
  3. METHOD IN HIS MADNESS.

    Two inmates of a Scotch asylum determined one day to make their escape from the institution. Alter wondering how they were to get out. they resolved to climb ...

    Article : 128 words
  4. TACT.

    Mrs. Hansom :" I understand, sir, that you have secretly been making love to my daughter, and I must forbid an acquaintance begun in that way. You should have ...

    Article : 79 words
  5. MOSQUITO SANITARIUMS.

    Mosquito sanitariums will soon be established throughout New Jersey—not for mosquitoes, but for the benefit of persons afflicted with rheumatism, gout stiffness ...

    Article : 187 words
  6. A NEW RECIPE FOR FIRE.

    A new use has been discovered for woolly dogs. A man in the train the other day stated that there had recently been a small fire in his house. Some of the ...

    Article : 111 words
  7. MAKING HIM CHEERFUL.

    She was a woman who was methodical in her discipline. "Now, Willie," she said, "you have disobeyed me, but I won't whip you now because ...

    Article : 77 words
  8. SOME WITTY SAYINGS.

    Some of the platform utterances of President Jordan of Leland Stanford University have been treasured up by many Western educators. Here are a few of them :— ...

    Article : 103 words
  9. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished the wi[?]—HUDIERAS. When the button comes off the back of a man's shirt his cooler begins to rise. ...

    Article : 877 words
  10. MISTAKEN IDENTITY.

    It was a picture gallery, and a group of visitors stood before a fine painting representing a black-bearded man in a gorgeous attire. ...

    Article : 76 words
  11. EASILY KNOWN.

    so freely has the ribbon of the Legion of Honour been distributed in. France that it is no longer considered an overwhelming honour to be presented with it. ...

    Article : 71 words
  12. HOW TO WIN A WOMAN IN A WEEK.

    Sunday.—Make her acquaintance. Monday.—Morning : Violets. Afternoon : Call. Tuesday.—Morning : American beauties ...

    Article : 72 words
  13. HE STOPPED.

    When asked what he thought of a certain captain who frequented the Essex links, a Scotch caddie said : "Weel, sir, he's a verra nice gentleman, ...

    Article : 109 words
  14. SIXTY DAYS!

    A man called one day on an insurance Sent and stated that he wished to insure his shop for £100 against fire. The agent told him the premium would be a few ...

    Article : 74 words
  15. POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

    Every man who is long on vanity is abort on common sense. A weak man may be ahamed out of anything except his weakness. ...

    Article : 118 words
  16. EXPECTED TO NEED THEM.

    Apropos of the Marquis of Anglesey, whose famous pantomime has at last ceased, there is a story told of his father. Upon one occasion he ordered a large ...

    Article : 69 words
  17. NO. 2 SCORD.

    "The trouble with you fellows Is, you want things, tout you know nothing about em. You come over here, and carry home a lot of truck that a European collector ...

    Article : 601 words
  18. BLUFF.

    There was once an attorney for a, man under indictment for an assault, and the case had 'been continued several times on one pretext and another, and was up again, ...

    Article : 231 words
  19. PRICKLY PEARS.

    A long face is a poor Investment. Haste to get rich keeps many a man poor. Many a man's word is like an ...

    Article : 173 words
  20. COLONEL CHINN'S JOKE ON HIS DOGS.

    Colonel J. P. Chinn played a joke on his foxhounds the other day that scared them so badly that they took to the cliffs and some of them have not returned. Some weeks ago the ...

    Article : 295 words
  21. DUELLING INSTINCT IN GERMANY.

    '"Sir, you hat insolted me !" "So ? How did I did it ?" " You wrinkled your nose by me." "So ? You mean like dot. und dot ? ...

    Article : 240 words
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