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  2. ENCOURAGING HIM.

    "If I thought that any girl would accept me," casually remarked the bashful Mr. Dolyers " I'd propose to-morrow." "Way not this evening?" asked Miss ...

    Article : 38 words
  3. Flotsam and Jetsam.

    When you're lyin in your hammock, sleepin' soft an' sleepin' sound, Without a care or trouble on your mind, An' there's nothin' to disturb you hut the engine goin' ...

    Article : 259 words
  4. HIS WEAKNESS.

    Albert: "Why, don't you recollect that girl? That's the girl you used to rave over last summer—call her a 'poem' and all that."? ...

    Article : 43 words
  5. A CASE IN POINT.

    "I don't suppose I should tell the story," said Brawn with a smile, "but it is too good to keep, so here goes. My wife is a pronounced enemy to cigarettes, and is ...

    Article : 164 words
  6. AS THEY PASSED.

    "How do you do, Mr. Pufdup?" said Mr. Oldfriend cordially. "You have the advantage of me, sir," replied Mr. Pufdup frigidly. ...

    Article : 42 words
  7. A PERFECT BOY.

    "I never heard of but one perfect boy," said Johnny, pensively, as he sat in the corner doing penance. "And who was that?" asked mamma. ...

    Article : 45 words
  8. GOT THE INFORMATION.

    The great criminal lawyer was questioning the witness in the murder trial as to the exact location of the wound in the murdered man's body. ...

    Article : 58 words
  9. THE CONSOLATION PRIZE.

    Louise: "Alice has quit giving bridal presents." Ethel: "How queer! What is her reason?" ...

    Article : 44 words
  10. HARD LINES INDEED.

    Among the passengers on a Glenside accommodation train the other afternoon was a very stout old woman. She occupied an entire seat (says the ...

    Article : 228 words
  11. WITHOUT ARGUMENT.

    A young lawyer in a non-jury case made a speech which lasted about three hours. It was such a speech as might be expected from a young lawyer, and it was very ...

    Article : 77 words
  12. A GOOD REASON.

    Two small boys in a railway carriage were watching everything, and talking, as boys do, when the guard's whistle attracted them. ...

    Article : 71 words
  13. WELL VERSED.

    Amelia: "Does he seem to know your true worth?" Emeline: "Not so well as be seems to know papa's." ...

    Article : 22 words
  14. ADDED POINT TO IT.

    Wife: "Why, Henry, where have you been? The dinner is quite spoiled." Henry: "Oh, I got carried past the station, and had to wait an hour for an ...

    Article : 70 words
  15. A NEW DANGER.

    A steam launch belonging to a battleship sprung a leak while crossing Portsmouth Harbour, and rapidly sank. Near by an old silt was leisurely rowing a boat. ...

    Article : 106 words
  16. THE BEAST.

    She: "Tell me, frankly, George, if you were a rich man, do you think you would ask me to marry you?" He: "I don't think it would be ...

    Article : 44 words
  17. TOLD OF THE COLOSSUS.

    The late Cecil Rhodes not only was a bachelor, but fought very shy of the fair sex. Here is a story which is told of him in this connection: While on a visit to ...

    Article : 107 words
  18. A MAN OF HIGH IDEALS.

    May: "I had no idea before last night that Mr. Pilcher was a man of such lofty ambitions and exalted ideals." Maud: "How did you come to find it ...

    Article : 44 words
  19. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.—HUDISRAS. "I heard that Major Shuter was going to get married again." "You surprise me. ...

    Article : 645 words
  20. WHAT'S IN A NAME?

    "Would Madame Melba," asks Max O'Rell, "have created the furore she did instantly had she chosen to appear on the opera bills as Nellie Mitchell? It is ...

    Article : 112 words
  21. THEN HE RAN.

    "Look here, waiter!" cried Crimsonbeak, "this ham is not so good as what I got here last summer." "I don't see why," replied the waiter in ...

    Article : 53 words
  22. THE BROKEN PART.

    In the development of the fraction "onethird" in a primary class, imaginary pies, bread, and cakes galore had been divided into thirds, and the teacher gave the ...

    Article : 106 words
  23. A NASTY KNOCK.

    "I suppose you think it is very silly, Charley, dear," said young Mrs. Torkins, "for me to pay several shillings to watch an actress for a few hours?" ...

    Article : 72 words
  24. AMONG OURSELVES.

    Every mother is quite sure her own baby is the cutest. The season of the odoriferous little tar ball is here. ...

    Article : 129 words
  25. A WATCHFUL EYE.

    The "Homeward Mail" tells a story of a Ceylon tea planter with a glass eye who wanted to go away for a day's shooting. Approaching his men, he said:—"Although ...

    Article : 128 words
  26. WANTED TO KNOW.

    "Who's doing the singing?" asked Mr. Brinker, whose wife had dragged him to a Concert. "It's the Mendelssohn quartette, dear," ...

    Article : 59 words
  27. USE OF THE TYPEWRITER?

    With the almost universal use of the typewriter in correspondence, billing, mercantile papers, and in authors' manuscripts has come abount the inability of ...

    Article : 297 words
  28. FOOD FOR REPENTANCE.

    Queen Alexandra, when Princess of Wales, (says "Good Words")., came one day upon a tiny mite of a boy crying piteously. He was in charge of a fat and comfortable old ...

    Article : 81 words
  29. JAMES SETTLED IT.

    Two boys in a rural Scotch district were one day discussing what sign it was when the cuckoo is heard for the first time in the year. One of them said it was a sign ...

    Article : 142 words
  30. DEPEW'S REBUKE.

    In discussing the Oleomargarine Bill in the Senate, Senator Bailey, of Texas, compared the colouring of oleomargarine with the innocent arts by which a maiden makes ...

    Article : 164 words
  31. GOOD ENOUGH.

    Senator Quay is fond of telling a story of an experience at a country hotel near Pittsburg. Hanging on the wall in the parlour was an inscription, "Ic[?] on parle ...

    Article : 120 words
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