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  2. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

    Guest: "Delightful party you are having to-night, old fellow." Host: "Yes, I am giving it to my wife. It is the seventh anniversary of her ...

    Article : 45 words
  3. TOO LATE!

    Montgomery: "I'm glad I met your wife, George. She seemed to take quite a [?]ney to me." George: " It wasn't my luck to have ...

    Article : 32 words
  4. NEEDED A TELESCOPE.

    Patience: "Hasn't Miss Oldum got searching eyes! " Patrice: " Well, I don't wonder at it. She's been looking for a husband for ...

    Article : 28 words
  5. IMPOSSIBLE

    The most difficult surgical operation known (because it has never been performed successfully) is to take the [?]aw out of a women. ...

    Article : 24 words
  6. FOR WET DAYS.

    "Byrdie, are you saving anything for a rainy day?" "Yes, mother. I never wear my silk Stockings around the house." ...

    Article : 23 words
  7. NOT WANTED.

    Excuse me?" said the caller, " but do you practise medicine? " "Yes," said the doctor. "Then I must apologise for having ...

    Article : 41 words
  8. DAT OX!

    Guest: "Waiter, are you sure this is ox-ta[?] soup?" Waiter: "Yessuh." Guest: " But I've found a tooth in i[?]." ...

    Article : 43 words
  9. QUITE SIMPLE.

    "I notice that you have a new kitchen maid," said Mrs. Sherlock Holmes. "I have." replied Mrs. Watson. "But I think it's perfectly wonderful how you ...

    Article : 46 words
  10. DANGER AHEAD.

    Young Husband (to wife): "Didn't I telegraph to you not to bring your mother with you?" Young Wife: "I know. That's what ...

    Article : 34 words
  11. WHY IT FAILED.

    "Why did the elopement fall through?" "We had a signal arranged. She told me to come to her window and make a noise like a robin. I did so. ...

    Article : 50 words
  12. TIT FOR TAT.

    A famous criminal lawyer had won a shockingly had cane by eloquence and trickery, and a rival lawyer said to him bitter[?]: ...

    Article : 62 words
  13. AND NO TEACHER.

    The two legislators were talking, about schools and found they could not agree on certain matters pertaining to education. The argument w[?] warmer and warmer. ...

    Article : 63 words
  14. HELLO!

    The telephone girl had married well, and was stopping at an hotel with her husband. Rising at 10 a.m., she rang the bell for the servant. ...

    Article : 63 words
  15. QUITE WILLING.

    Banker (to his daughter's suitor): "Pleaes tell me frankly. Are you marrying my Selm[?] for her money?" Suitor: "Oh, no: not at all! In fact, ...

    Article : 55 words
  16. AT THE TAILOR'S.

    Boy: "Please will you give me some trouser patterns for father to see?" Shop Assistant: "Certainly; what kind does your father prefer?" ...

    Article : 63 words
  17. LABOUR SAVING.

    She had engaged a girt At the end of their first day together the maid was instructed to mount the stepladder and wind the tall 14-day clock. "You have ...

    Article : 98 words
  18. LESSON IN EUCLID.

    The schoolmaster at a certain village school asked his pupils the following question: "Suppose in a family there are five ...

    Article : 77 words
  19. UNNECESSARY FUSS.

    A Scottish minister was walking through a street in the village one misty eveningthen he fell into a deep hole There was no ladder by which he could make his ...

    Article : 84 words
  20. KEPT NICE.

    [?]ring the progress of the morning bath of a few months old infant, a neighbour's little girl came into the room o[?]rying a doll, and stood watching the operation for ...

    Article : 89 words
  21. A FREE PASS.

    The football match was over, and a large crowd surrounded the small gate, the only exit, when a small boy was seen climbing the wall, in an endeavour to ...

    Article : 81 words
  22. WHICH?

    After the third addition to the family it became necessary to secure the services of a permanent nurse. "Now, my husband is very particular ...

    Article : 119 words
  23. PUTTING HIM RIGHT.

    At a target practice of a company of territorials the captain swaggered up to the latest recruit and proceeded to give him some instructions about his gun. ...

    Article : 124 words
  24. THE UNLUCKY NUMBER.

    The Scottish Judge, who is also a ph[?]anthropist in a small but practical way, was visiting the cells in a prison, talking sympathetically with the prisoners, ...

    Article : 107 words
  25. THIS BE GULPED.

    "Object" drawing has brought a new anxiety into, the schools. In certain districts youngsters may be seen moving forward with hatchets, knives, hammers, ...

    Article : 92 words
  26. SUBTLE DESTINCTION.

    Ned, the friend of Bill, chant, surveyed him sadly. "Bill," he said, solemnly. "I ain't the chap to round on a pal, but that there fish ...

    Article : 121 words
  27. THE LAST WORD

    A friend of mine unintentionally made a "goat" out of his married brother. Bill, one day last week when he met him in the street. ...

    Article : 139 words
  28. THE ULTIMATE FAUX PAS.

    Mr. Bake, a neighbour, had committed suicide by hanging one night, and the following morning Mrs. Wilcox said to her family: ...

    Article : 195 words
  29. BONCE THAT DID NOT GIVE CONSENT.

    Mr. Newlyrich, who had gone out for a day's shooting, was returning in the evening with a bag as empty as when he ...

    Article : 150 words
  30. CLOSE RUN.

    The steamer was or the point of leaving. and the passengers lounged on the d[?] and waited for the start. At length one of them espied a cyclist in the far ...

    Article : 149 words
  31. MAGIC WORDS.

    Once Judge William M. Confer, of Mad[?]a, California, was trying a case wheroin a woman sought to recover at diamond ring he had in fonder moments ...

    Article : 140 words
  32. ENOUGH.

    Here is a rather neat story of the way in which a very shy (or proud) man mode a "proposal." He bought a wedding-ring, sent it to the lady (whose fingers he knew ...

    Article : 65 words
  33. UNINTENTIONAL.

    Mrs. Cornell gave a luncheon, and observing that one of the guests had eaten all her portion of ice cream, she said: "My dear Miss Lane, do let me give you ...

    Article : 61 words
  34. DOLLY'S VIRSION OF IT.

    Dolly was not quite six when her mother bought a flock mine Plymouth Rock hens and a ro[?] and diligently explained to Dolly that the rooster was the ...

    Article : 187 words
  35. CHANGE OF MENU.

    They were discussing the dinner which was regularly partaken of by the members of the local antiquarian, society. ...

    Article : 174 words
  36. Display Advertising

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    Advertising : 78 words
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