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  2. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

    Bessis: "He is very Impudent. He put his arm round me twice." Jessie: "Humph ! he must have had a very long arm." ...

    Article : 28 words
  3. NO WONDER.

    "Waiter, this coffee is nothing but mud." "Yes, sir; certainly, sir. It was ground this morning." ...

    Article : 18 words
  4. FLEXIBLE.

    "Does lie ever break his word ? "No. He hires a lawyer to bend it for him." ...

    Article : 18 words
  5. BETTER

    "Are you better off for getting married?" "Yes formerly I had good quarters, and now I have a better half." ...

    Article : 22 words
  6. OH! OH!!

    "Are you ill? Let me see your tongue, please." "It's no use. No tongue can tell how bad I feel." ...

    Article : 22 words
  7. REALISM.

    'You mustn't bring your train into the kitchen, Master Lennis; I'm busy making pastries." "Oh, but this is where we stop five ...

    Article : 26 words
  8. ANOTHER LIBEL.

    First Bootblack: "Wot's the matter, Jimmy? Yer looks played out." Second Bootblack: "Played out! I should think I am Just been giving ...

    Article : 28 words
  9. STOPPED THE CLOCK.

    Mike: "Shure, Pat, but it's slow work breaking stones, isu't it?" Pat: "That it is. Shure and if I hadn't stopped the clock we'd never have ...

    Article : 33 words
  10. CRUSHING.

    An aristocratic papa, on being requested by a rich and vulgar young fellow for permission to marry one of his girls, replied: "Certainly. Which would you ...

    Article : 35 words
  11. CHEST SO.

    Bobby: "This sailor must have been a bit of an acrobat." Mamma : "Why, dear ?" Bobby : "Because the book says, ...

    Article : 35 words
  12. NO TIME TO COMPLAIN.

    Excited Boy "Come on, quick! The ould man is batin' the ould woman again." Policeman: "Why don't she come her' ...

    Article : 55 words
  13. HE KNEW.

    "Well, madam ?" inquired the shopwalker. "I wish." she said, "to get a present for my husband." ...

    Article : 43 words
  14. A LITERAL RESPONSE.

    Jones: "Did you deliver my message to Mr. Smith?' Johnny: "No, sir. His office was locked." ...

    Article : 50 words
  15. NOTHING LEFT.

    Pat and Mike baving been out for the day decided to bring home with them a bottle of whisky. Pat, feeling dry in the morning. awoke and went, to the bottle ...

    Article : 74 words
  16. A GOOD START

    The young physician looked pleased and consdent. "Well," he began, "I must say that with my first patient I have succeeded ...

    Article : 43 words
  17. GOT HIS NUMBER.

    "I'm sorry to tell you, mum, that I'll be leaving you next week. I'm going to get married." "That so, Emma ? Who is the lucky ...

    Article : 63 words
  18. NOT LIKELY.

    He bad loined the Territorials, whose drilling ground was a nice level field close to the bank of a river. One day, coming late to drill, he was met by the sergeant. ...

    Article : 78 words
  19. SMALL FRY.

    To a third party it. is often surprising how much bride a large man can take in a very small fish. Two or three burly an-lers were exhibiting with great ...

    Article : 90 words
  20. A TRAGEDY.

    The blue sea glittered in the spring sunshine. "Dear, if you refuse me," he groaned, kneeling before her on the white sand, ...

    Article : 57 words
  21. THE POLICEMAN'S CUSTOM.

    There had been a collision between a cart and an automobile. The policeman was taking copious notes regarding the accident. ...

    Article : 73 words
  22. STUNG.

    One day it was raining very heavily, when a wealthy merchant, on leaving the exchange, hailed a cab and asked to be driven to a distant part of the city. ...

    Article : 102 words
  23. COLLAPSE OF VICAR

    A clergyman, called suddenly away and unable to officiate, entrusted his new curate with the duty. On his return home he asked his wife what she thought of ...

    Article : 87 words
  24. IT WAS DESERVED

    The stout party had been in the hootshop for over an hour, and the patient shop assistant had bad half the shop down for her inspection. She found a ...

    Article : 96 words
  25. SID SHE TAKE IT?

    While the discussion is going on as to whether men should give on their seats to women in crowded tremers. along comes an [?] story from Paris. ...

    Article : 89 words
  26. THE BRUTE.

    She had just settled down in the most comfortable chair they possessed to enjoy the latest novel. He knew how comfortable that chair was because he had ...

    Article : 80 words
  27. OH! THAT MEMORY

    I know a young married woman who is apt to forget things. Unon a certain occasion a short time ago she was afraid she would forget to order the chickens in time. ...

    Article : 140 words
  28. 2 MLE.

    Let others talk of L N's eyes, And K T's figure light and free Say L R, too, is beautiful—I heed them not while U I C ...

    Article : 158 words
  29. A HANDSOME APOLOGY.

    An old lady visiting an asylum took a great interest in the inmates, and made herself as pleasant as possible to every one. ...

    Article : 141 words
  30. GROUND FOR DIVORCE.

    "So you want a divers, do you ?" said the lowver. neering over hi glasses at the worret little man in front of him. "yes sir. I've stood tust about all ...

    Article : 136 words
  31. PROOF.

    A Yorkshire mill-worker, charted with having set fire to a large hayrick, was defended on the ground that he was not altogether responsible for his actions. ...

    Article : 116 words
  32. WHAT THEY FORGOT.

    A quiet young man with a very florid face was in a crowd of passengers at a Scottish railway station, and the discussion turned upon swindling the automatic ...

    Article : 285 words
  33. LEASON FOR USING.

    'An interesting story is told of a teacher's experiences in a district school: "My school was large and my salary small. but in order to lessen my expenses ...

    Article : 229 words
  34. A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE.

    It was at an anniversary at a church in the city of L, and the preacher was the present Bishop of C, who, many years before, bad been vicar of this ...

    Article : 123 words
  35. HARD TO FOLLOW.

    At a small country church a newly-married couple were receiving some advice as to how they were to conduct themselves. "You must never both pet cross at ...

    Article : 100 words
  36. UNFITTING TRUST.

    Mrs. Knowing's new servant came to her the morning after her arrival, and said:— "I'm goin' to lave yez, mum, to-day. ...

    Article : 106 words
  37. Display Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 56 words
  38. HE STRUCK

    He: "I met your father last evening and spoke to him about our being married." She: "Did he strike you favourably?" He: "Well, not exactly favourably, but ...

    Article : 31 words
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