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  2. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

    The Teacher: "How many eggs are there in a dozen ?" The Pupil: "Five fresh ones, five doubtful ones, and two bad ones !" ...

    Article : 30 words
  3. NEVER.

    We've seen at times the model wife, And the model husband, too: But these models to each other wed We've never seen-have you ? ...

    Article : 25 words
  4. TESTED.

    Tramp: " Madam, I'm an old soldier, I fought- " Housewife: "Are you up in army tactics ?" ...

    Article : 33 words
  5. WHICH WAS IT?

    "No," said the young man ; "I'm not quite sure whether my wife's birthday gift to me was meant to please me or to humble my pride." ...

    Article : 54 words
  6. NOT TO HIS TASTE.

    "How would you like to be a minister when you grow up, Tommy ?" asked a clergyman of one of the boys in his parish. ...

    Article : 52 words
  7. KINDNESS TO ANIMALS.

    "Did you remember what I told you about being kind to dumb animals ?" asked the teacher. "Yes'm," replied Jimmy Jiggs. "As ...

    Article : 55 words
  8. CAUGHT NAPPING.

    With difficulty they dragged him from the folding bed that had shut up on him as he slept. "That's the first time I ever was ...

    Article : 41 words
  9. QUALIFIED QUANTITY.

    The lady was about to deliver a temperance lecture, and thought it well to get her information at first hand, so she interviewed a working man. "Is it true," ...

    Article : 84 words
  10. A BENEFACTOR.

    A Scottish parish minister met the laird's gamekeeper one day, and said to him: "I say, Davidson, why is it I never see ...

    Article : 89 words
  11. AND FATHER AGREED.

    Home study for Tommy had just begun and he found it hard to apply himself to regular hours. At bedtime one evening has father said: "Tommy, I am not at ...

    Article : 74 words
  12. MISUNDERSTOOD.

    "Dad," said a young solicitor who had recently left his parent's office to start business for himself "you know the Wilkins case you've been engaged on for ...

    Article : 73 words
  13. AND HE GOT IT.

    Two sons of Erin shared the same bed, as well as the same bottle of whisky. Pat waited till he found Mike asleep, when he quietly rose and emptied the bottle. ...

    Article : 85 words
  14. A CORRECTION.

    The nurse on duty in a certain London hospital was giving the little ones their last meal for the day. All save one were patiently waiting their turn to be served ...

    Article : 85 words
  15. FATAL ADMISSION.

    The suffragette was practising her address for the Woman's Rights Club at her own little home. Her words were defiant. "Woman are the real rulers," she orated. ...

    Article : 111 words
  16. ONE ON THE CAPTAIN.

    An old lady who had been leaning over the rail to watch the passengers as they came up the gangplank suddenly approached the Captain. ...

    Article : 70 words
  17. NOBODY'S FAULT EXACTLY, BUT-

    A farmer was asked to assist at the funeral of his neighbour's third wife, and, as he had attended the funeral of the two others, his wife was surprised when ...

    Article : 86 words
  18. A SUBTLE DISCOVERY.

    Those to whom the mathematical mind has not been given will apreciate the fun an Irishwoman has with numbers. "I do hate sums," she confessed to a ...

    Article : 103 words
  19. THE IMMORTAL FOUNT.

    A truly eloquent parson had been preaching for an hour or so on the immortality of the soul. "I looked at the mountains," he de ...

    Article : 69 words
  20. QUITE RIGHT.

    The lawyer eyed the woman in the witness box in patient despair. "You say, Madam," be began, "that the defendant is a sort of relation of ...

    Article : 144 words
  21. HER METHODS VARIED.

    After the third addition to the family it became necessary to secure the services of a permanent nurse. "Now my husband is very particular ...

    Article : 116 words
  22. M'GREGOR HAD "GORE OFF."

    A keen golfer, but middling player, who was paying his annual visit to a certain course, remarked to his caddie: "By the way, I played a round with ...

    Article : 76 words
  23. THE WORM TURNED.

    Mrs. Smith repeatedly reminded, her husband that she owned the silver, that she owned the furniture, and so on, until poor Smith almost wished he had married ...

    Article : 99 words
  24. PROOF POSITIVE.

    "Over here," said the Arab guide, "we have another mummy. From the cooking utensils found near her, she is supposed to have been a cook. For 2000 ...

    Article : 68 words
  25. A PRODIGY'S POETRY.

    The ten-year-old daughter of an artist attended her first church wedding, and so filled with inspiration was she that she immediately began to write a poem ...

    Article : 114 words
  26. SAVED BY HIS CAMERA.

    The gray timber-wolf is a powerful and savage beast, not pleasant to meet in the wilds when one is unarmed. In Wild Lit[?] on the Rockies," Mr. E. A Mills ...

    Article : 494 words
  27. NO HARM TRYING.

    A friend who had heard that I sometimes suffered from insomnia told me of a sure cure. "Eat a quart of peanuts and drin[?] three glasses of milk before going to bed, ...

    Article : 277 words
  28. THE IMPRESSION OF "BUTTONS."

    A lady, calling at a house, inquired how the patient and her baby were. " Progressing favourably," said the buttons. ...

    Article : 74 words
  29. A KNOCKOUT BLOW.

    A well-known barrister relates the following storing with great gusto:— Some time ago he had under cross-examination a youth from the country, who ...

    Article : 153 words
  30. "PLAIN SCOTCH."

    Two Scotsmen were recently on a visit to London. On the morning after their arrival they discovered that the washstand in their bedroom wag minus soap. ...

    Article : 117 words
  31. THE UNEXPECTED AS USUAL.

    The philosopher of the village had met with an accident and some of the neighbouring women called to condole with her. With commendable cheerfulness she ...

    Article : 134 words
  32. THE "FINE" ART OF BATHING.

    Travel in Mexico has still the charm of the unexpected, writes Mr. S. D. Kirkham in "Mexican Trails," and tells of a little journey in Morelos. ...

    Article : 189 words
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