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  2. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

    Hewett: "I understand that you say I look like a monkey ?" Jewett: "Well, what do you care ? The monkey will never hear of it." ...

    Article : 31 words
  3. BREAD FOR NOTHING.

    "Shure, Mick, and have ye heard there's a penny off the loaf ?" "Ye don't say ? Bedad, an' I 'ope it's off the penny ones !" ...

    Article : 30 words
  4. THE BRAND.

    Irate Customer: "See here! That student lamp you sold me a week ago is no good. It won't work." Dealer : " Beg pardon. sir. I ought to ...

    Article : 40 words
  5. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    The Tender : "You seem so very sad." The Locomotive : "Yes, I suffer so many reverses at the hands of the engineer, you know." ...

    Article : 738 words
  6. WHAT IT IS.

    "Impatience," said Uncle Eben, "is ginerally de feelin' you has when you wants somebody else to hurry an' make up fob de time you's been wastin'." ...

    Article : 29 words
  7. WORK FOR NEW M.P.'S.

    An old lady, on being asked recently what she thought about come of the new members of Parliament, replied— "I don't bother my head about any of ...

    Article : 42 words
  8. A SAFE PROMISE.

    The cab drawn by a weary-looking horse came to a standstill opposite a public house. As the driver was preparing to descend, a email boy ran up with—" 'Oil ...

    Article : 55 words
  9. REAL THING.

    Customer : "Are you sure this is real Ceylon tea ?" Well-informed Young Assistant : " Certainly, sir. Mr. Ceylon's name is on every ...

    Article : 29 words
  10. ERIN'S FLOWER.

    After a voyage of eighteen months the sailing ship May Hill sighted the coast of Ireland. "Ah," said Paddy, the old salt, "that's the garden spot j. of the world." ...

    Article : 50 words
  11. THE ORIGIN OF IT.

    "Senator," said the interviewer, "it is rumoured that you intend to retire from polities." "Well, well," replied the Senator, "it's ...

    Article : 46 words
  12. MIGHT HAVE BEEN WORSE.

    Father (severely): "My son, this is a disgraceful state if affairs. This report says you are the last boy in the class of ...

    Article : 50 words
  13. ALWAYS EMPLOYED.

    "What do you mean, sir," demanded the irate housewife, " by circulating the report that I am an idle gossip ?"' "Madam," responded the coiner grocer ...

    Article : 46 words
  14. FOOTBALL AND POLITICS.

    During the last few days I have heard nothing but politics and football. In fact, I have them on the brain ; but I'm not the only person troubled in that ...

    Article : 96 words
  15. THE STUFF THAT TALKS.

    Dumley was making an evening call, and the nice little boy of the family had [?] allowed to remain up a little later [?] usual. ...

    Article : 83 words
  16. A SMART LAD.

    A boy walked into a merchant's office the other day in search of a situation. After being put through a catechism by the merchant, he was asked— ...

    Article : 60 words
  17. A COSTLY BLOW.

    A farmer, taking his little son with him, was going to the polling station to give his vote. On the way he met a friend on the ...

    Article : 85 words
  18. STILL THE SAME.

    The "New York World "had an amusing cartoon of a citizen paying his telephone bill ; the clerk behind the counter is J.P. Morgan. The citizen then goes ...

    Article : 112 words
  19. NOTHING IN THAT LINE.

    Mrs. Henpeek bent her gaze upon Mr. H. "Have you read Mr. Latchford's yellow book ?" she asked sternly. ...

    Article : 77 words
  20. VICE VERSA.

    "Let me see some of your black kid gloves," said a lady to a shopman. The gloves were produced. "These are not the latest style, are ...

    Article : 91 words
  21. UNDER FIVE.

    A woman entered a city tramcar the other day, followed by six children. She took the eldest and laid him along the seat, and sat the other five on top of him. ...

    Article : 82 words
  22. THE MOST TROUBLESOME.

    A sailor, who thought he would like a country life, applied to a farmer for a job. "Can you do farm work ?" was the first ...

    Article : 147 words
  23. WHERE THE FAULT LAY.

    "Tommy, that is the last helping of plum pudding I shall give you." So spoke Tommy's mother. Tommy grunted. Why ? Because he was a little ...

    Article : 105 words
  24. TWO MEENISTERS.

    A Scotch minister and his servant, who were coming home from a wedding, began to consider the state into which their potations at the wedding feast had left ...

    Article : 98 words
  25. THE QUALITY.

    A Yorkshire couple on matrimony bent went out to buy the wedding ring. They first visited a confectioner's shop and then came to a jeweller's. ...

    Article : 85 words
  26. NOT SO DEAF.

    An officer at York Cavalry Barracks sold a horse to a well-known local dealer, who professed to foe very deaf. When the officer's groom took the animal to its ...

    Article : 107 words
  27. AN EXPERIMENT.

    A hurry call was sent in to a police station in New York to come and catch a burglar. Two policemen were sent, who, boarding the first car, told the ...

    Article : 160 words
  28. THE SUFFRAGE IN THE SURF.

    The tired Cabin-it Minister had gone to a quiet little seaside village. He was very much annoyed to find mixed bathing was allowed. Consequently the inevitable ...

    Article : 125 words
  29. NO REPORT.

    The train was just off, and Jeannie was congratulating herself on the prospect of having a compartment all to herself, when a smartly dressed man rushed ...

    Article : 147 words
  30. UNAFFECTED.

    The candidate for Parliamentary honours was discussing the evils of unemployment, sweated labour, and foreign competition, and his audience waxed ...

    Article : 180 words
  31. BASHFULNESS EXTRAORDINARY

    He was about the most bashful chap that ever held a baby while its mother tied her shoe-strings. He got a letter from his sister in the country recently, ...

    Article : 162 words
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    Advertising : 46 words
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