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  2. A WINNER

    Mrs. T. Emblen (“Nasecm”), 16th Street, Bowden, wins one of the 10th prizes this week for the following:— ONE TO THE AUSSIE. ...

    Article : 158 words
  3. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 123 words
  4. A WINNER

    Mr. G. R. Wise (“Wit”), 22 Davenport Terrace, Hilton, is also a winner of 10/ for the following:— APT. Some juniors in the lower school were ...

    Article : 99 words
  5. NOT CHEAP.

    “Books are the most useful and cheapest presents.” “Pardon me, I gave my wife a book and it was an expensive job.” “What book was it.” ...

    Article : 35 words
  6. THEN THE FUN BEGAN

    With his hair streaming in the wind, and his tongue hanging out, a wild-eyed young man flung open the doors of the village inn, and strode straight on to the bar. “Give me a pint, ...

    Article : 90 words
  7. AN UNEXPECTED SNUB

    "Girls make me tired; they are always going to the palmists to have their hands read,” said the fresh young man. “Indeed, is that any worse than young men ...

    Article : 50 words
  8. ANSWERS TO OPEN-GOERS.

    Three Open-Goes had to be' held back this week. One about the wounded soldier one ahent the navat crange, and the third anerit Solcmon’s twins. We will use them when we ...

    Article : 88 words
  9. WHAT SHE THOUGHT

    Little Elsie was holding the kitten tightly in her arms, and talking to it as children are fond of doing. A thoughtful pause caused her mother to pay some attention to what was coming next. ...

    Article : 74 words
  10. UNNECESSARY

    Lady Passenger (to captain of liner): “Oh, captain, my husband Is feeling .dreadfully seasick. What can he do?” Captain (grimly) “There's. no need to tell ...

    Article : 41 words
  11. HE RAN

    Wife (to husband, who is in the midst of a swarm of bees): “Run, honey, run!” He: “Dammit, don’t Call me honey; you’ll make em desperate.” ...

    Article : 41 words
  12. MICK TAKES THE PLEDGE

    Mick Hogan had taken the pledge more than once, and had promised to leave the drink alone but every time Mick would forget his promise, and go back to the old game. One day the ...

    Article : 202 words
  13. WHAT DID SHE MEAN

    It was little Mary's birthday and her grandmother mother gave her a wristlet watch and a bottle of scent. Next morning, before Mary went to school she put on her wristlet watch and ...

    Article : 95 words
  14. TOO EXPENSIVE.

    Two small girls were out with their nurse, and the doctor who happened to be passing, stopped Sid inquired how they were. “I don’t thinly we Had better tell you,” said ...

    Article : 71 words
  15. WAS HE DRUNK?

    Father: “Was Jack Intoxicated when he came home last night?” Daughter: “I didn’t notice anything, except that he asked for a mirror to see wh he was.” ...

    Article : 36 words
  16. DEAD EARNEST

    I asked a young lady if she would wed, With a smile in her roguish eyes, she said: “Go, ask father.” Now, she knew that I knew ...

    Article : 64 words
  17. HOTEL RULES.

    Board-1 per square foot, meals extra. Washing—All rooms have been washed with rain water. Actors—Strictly, in advance. ...

    Article : 182 words
  18. WONDER

    “Do[?] you really believe,” asked an interrupter of the Bishop of London, “that Jonah lived for three days and three nights in the .belly of a whale?” ...

    Article : 71 words
  19. ANOTHER RADIO BUG

    Little Johnnie, who had been taken into the country for a day’s outing, saw a spider spinning a web between two tall weeds. “Hey, dad,” be yelled, “come ever here, and ...

    Article : 47 words
  20. DOES NOT STOP HIM

    It is often written that you rarely drop across a badly-named good horse In England there is at least one exception at the present time, and that ...

    Article : 157 words
  21. OLD NICK

    A laird advertised for a man to do odd jobs, and an old-fashioned worthy Scott applied. The laird interviewee him, and was well pleased with his acquirements, and promised him the job. ...

    Article : 100 words
  22. WELL DONE

    Wilfred: “Now, listen carefully. It was Dunn before it was done, it was Dunn while it was being done, and after it was done, it wasn’t Dunn at all.” ...

    Article : 95 words
  23. GHOSTS AGAIN.

    The other dry our neighbor died, and his lonely widow made a conscientious study of spiritualism. Last night che called on a well-known Adelaide medium in the hopes that she ...

    Article : 107 words
  24. BUSINESS INSTINCT

    The Sunday-school teacher was talking to her class about Solomon and his wisdom. “When the Queen, of Shebs came and laid jewels and fine raiments before Solomon, what, ...

    Article : 69 words
  25. LOST HIS WATCH

    Second Mate: “Captain, is a thing lost when you know where it. is,?” Captain: “No, you ass!” Second Mate: “Well, I have dropped your gold ...

    Article : 38 words
  26. SOME FASHION

    Mary has a little frock, It reaches to her knees, And everywhere that Mary gees Two calves are left to freeze. ...

    Article : 51 words
  27. THOUGHT READING

    A Dutchman had just chastised his boy, who, on walking slowly with his head in his arm, began nodding. His father called: “What you tinks now? I ...

    Article : 44 words
  28. FULL DE-TAILS.

    Rastus—"Here am a telegram from the master in Africa stating he am- sending us some lions' tails.” Circus Owner's Wife: “Lions' tails, Rastus? ...

    Article : 57 words
  29. LIMERICK GOING WELL.

    A message from New Zealand states that Limerick is doing steady work on the Riccarton tracks. There has not been any recurrence of the ...

    Article : 156 words
  30. HARD NAMES

    A pal was leaving on a visit to Perth. asked him to call on a friend named Hummock.” “That’s a hard name to remember,” he said. “Think of Slummock, that’s easy. ...

    Article : 58 words
  31. COULDN’T TALK

    Doctor: “Your husband must have absolute quiet. Here is a sleeping draught.” “Wife: “And when do I give it to him.” Doctor: “You don’t give it to him; you take ...

    Article : 37 words
  32. MOONBEAMS

    Two youthful members of the family were arguing and squabbling as children will sometimes, and one of them said— “Well, look here, I'll ask you a question that ...

    Article : 146 words
  33. MEANNESS

    Garage Manager (to Scottish accountant): “This place is getting very, dirty again.” Scottish Accountant: “Righto! I’ll get the vacuum cleaner people to give us another ...

    Article : 33 words
  34. TRY YOUR STRENGTH

    In a Glasgow railway station there is a “Try Your Strength” machine. You insert a penny and if you have the requisite strength the penny is returned. One morning a Scotchman was ...

    Article : 54 words
  35. SOME CAR

    An American was bragging about his motor car. He ended his eulogy by declaring: “It runs, so smoothly that you can’t feel it; has such perfect ignition that you can’t small it; and, as ...

    Article : 64 words
  36. ESSAY ON PANTS.

    Pants are made for men and not for women. Women are made for men and not for pants. When a man pants for a woman, and a woman pants for a man that makes a pair of pants. ...

    Article : 107 words
  37. HE KNEW

    Little Willie: “The teacher says the world is rounrd. If I wanted to go east, I could get there by going west, then, couldn’t I?” Father: “Yes, my son. You’ll be a taxi driver ...

    Article : 48 words
  38. ASKING FOR IT

    Mike was servant of a farmer, and in his charge was a donkey, which was kept to amuse the children. The donkey was following the farmer's wife ...

    Article : 74 words
  39. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 40 words
  40. CHEEK

    Infuriated Farmer: “What do you mean by it, madam? I give you permission to pitch your tent in my meadow, and you have the audacity to have the gate open and let all my cattle cut.” ...

    Article : 59 words
  41. WOLVERHAMPTON

    “Heere. lies-the bones of Joseph Jones, who ate whitst he was. able; but once clerfed. he drop't down dead, and tell beneath the table. When from the tomb, to meet his doom, he ...

    Article : 61 words
  42. SCORES AND SCORES

    Bill’s wife was puzzled on receiving the following telegram:—“Having good time; wire me score. Love, Bill.” She soon got over the difficulty by replying: ...

    Article : 46 words
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