{No abstract available}
Advertising : 91 words{No abstract available}
Advertising : 365 words{No abstract available}
Advertising : 427 wordsA young wife [?]ent into a grocer’s shop and said: “I bought three or four hams here about a month or so ago. They were very nice; have you any more of them?” ...
Article : 77 words“Might I trouble you to take that pink and yellow tie out of your window for me?” Certainly, sir ; we are always pleased to take anything out of our window at anytime.” ...
Article : 49 wordsA sleeper is one who sleeps. A sleeper is also the name given to a railway carriage in which a sleeper sleeps. A sleeper is also the name of the balks of wood that holds the rails ...
Article : 117 wordsMR. G. WILSON (“G.W.”), 261 Currie St., Adelaide. ORIGINAL. J[?]mmy, a black fellow in the Far North ...
Article : 168 wordsSmall Boy: “Please, mother, I don’t like these holes in the bread.” Tired Mother: “Never mind, you needn’t eat she holes—leave them on the plate.” ...
Article : 30 wordsA professor was deep in his work when his wife called, “Harry, baby has swallowed the ink. Whatever shall I do?” “Write with a pencil,” was the dreamy reply, ...
Article : 35 wordsWe shared the views of Billy Hughes. We cooked the goose of Stanley Bruce. We jobbed the job of the Nationalist mob. We retained the laws in the workers’ cause. ...
Article : 52 wordsWife: “What does propaganda mean?” Husband: “Well, if you set some geese eggs and no goslings came out, that would show that you did not have the proper gander!” ...
Article : 36 wordsA clock, it runs on wheels, A cow, on who is fed it; Po[?]r me, I’m not a clock or cow, So I run along on credit. ...
Article : 34 wordsThe little bees, they honey make, The little birds they sing; But all the little fly can do, Is . . . . . on every thing. ...
Article : 26 wordsThere was a young farmer called “Rust,” Who had to work hard for a crust, He prayed once for rain, But never again. ...
Article : 39 wordsThe stout old lady was struggling valiantly, out against odds of some two hundred pounds to [?]unt the step of the waiting bus. “Come along Me,” urged the conductor. “If ...
Article : 102 wordsHousewife: “Look at this milk, it’s disgraceful!” “Milkman: “What’s the matter with [?]it, mum? It looks as right as rain to me!” ...
Article : 31 words“Mother, can 1 go out for a fly?” “Yes my darling daughter; don’t go more than three miles high, and don’t fly over water.” ...
Article : 31 wordsFirst He: “See that girl; her face is her fortune.” [?]nd He: “Y[?]ah, and it runs into a nice figure.” ...
Article : 26 wordsVisitor (to bearded lady): “Isn’t it a shock to your sensitive nature to be on exhibition?” The Bearded Lady: “There’s no elp for it lady. I’ve a wife and ten children to support!” ...
Article : 46 wordsCaptain (to mate): “The pudding you made was very hard: where did you get the flour?” Mate: “From the bin behind the door.” Captain: “Just what I thought. You have ...
Article : 41 wordsNo bushman can say he has seen cold country if he hasn’t been in the South Gippsland hills. At Blackwarry it is so cold that it is a [?]ommon thing for the cattle to break their ...
Article : 212 wordsFriend (to Sandy), who has his aerial attached to a small sapling): “You went to buy a p[?]le, Sandy, and put the aerial up higher. You’ll get a better reception.” ...
Article : 48 words[?] Alick: “Oh, did you hear that Bruce is ill?” m: “No. Whatever is the matter?” Smart Alick: Me is suffering from Labor ...
Article : 38 wordsHubby: “I can’t eat this stuff,” Wife: “Never m.nd, dear, I have some fine reelpes for making up left-overs.” Hubby: “In that case I’ll eat it new.” ...
Article : 38 wordsYoung Man (to Taxi Driver): “Where—what have you pulled up for?” Taxi Driver: “You said stop!” Young Man: “Drive on, the young lady wasn’t ...
Article : 32 wordsAn inmate of a fun[?]tic asylum looking over the wall one day noticed a sporting gent fishing, when the following conversation took place— ...
Article : 80 wordsBill: “When is a man not a man?” Jinks: “When he’s a little hoarse.” ...
Article : 21 wordsOh, darling, don’t you think it’s lime, For us to name the date? If we don’t find our love sublime, Well, we can separate. ...
Article : 92 wordsTom: “My father is a poultry dealer. He gave me a hen that lays an egg every week.” Joe: “Oh, that’s nothing; my father’s a member of Parliament. He lays a foundation ...
Article : 41 wordsA policeman on his beat in a one street town, was surprised one day by a man, who tapped him on the shoulder, and pointing out a prosperous looking man ooming towards them, he said ...
Article : 86 wordsJoe: “However did you get that black eye?” Bill: “That cow kept flitting its foil in my ace, so I tied a brick to the end of it.” ...
Article : 40 wordsThere was a young girl in ,a fliver, Who put the machine In a river; She said, “Oh, good laude!” I just missed the faude! ...
Article : 43 wordsTwo men standing in the street, an Amerian and an Englishman were quarrelling. “Well,” [?]aid the Englishman, “if you can [?]now this question we will part as friends.” ...
Article : 54 wordsJack’s Coat (out of Pawn, by the Week-end). Kicked Out (S. M. Bruce, by Commonwealth Request). Licensing Law (All Out, by Six O’clock). ...
Article : 75 wordsYes, we have no . . . Yes, we have atmospherics. We have atmospherics to-day We’ve induction, recaction. ...
Article : 61 wordsGossip No. 1: “Our lodger has two dozen handkerchiefs.” Gossip No. 2: “He must be mad. Two dozen handkerchiefs when he only has one nose.” ...
Article : 38 wordsMaid: “The furniture man is here.” Mistress: “I’ll see him in a minute. Tell him to take a chair.” Mald: “I did, but he said he would start ...
Article : 42 wordsHubby was reading his morning paper after breakfast. “Ah! This is wonderful,” said he to his wife. “They are inventing an infallible instrument ...
Article : 98 wordsFirst Boarder: “What makes the milk look [?]o blue?” Second Anaemic: “Being separated from the cream.” ...
Article : 23 wordsA faint heart often wins a glass of brandy. Hiccups are messages from departed spirits. Notes on the Melbourns Cup are in the bookie’s bags. ...
Article : 111 wordsThe home team was getting knocked about to the dismay or [?]s supporters. At last the feelings of one excited member got the better of him. ...
Article : 49 wordsThe drunk lurched out of the pub and made for the open street. He had only gone a short way when he bumped against a telegraph pole. He reeled back a yard or two and advanced ...
Article : 121 wordsTypist : “Somebody must have pulled the wool over the boss’ eyes.” Clerk: “How is that?” Typist: “I saw him knitting his brows awhile ...
Article : 30 wordsJim’s girl is fast, my girl is slow. Jim’s girl wears silk, mine calico. Jim’s girl is bad, but beautiful. My girl is plain, but good. ...
Article : 43 wordsWoman Policeman: “Come along now! Come along with me and sleep at the police station.” Drunk: “Why—why—with pleasure, madam!” ...
Article : 30 wordsLong: “What kind of leather makes the best shoes?” Short: “I don’t know. But banana skins make the best slippers.” ...
Article : 26 wordsShe’s got a little carter, Just above her little knee: Just look a little higher and, Her little skirt you’ll see. ...
Article : 34 words“What was the name of the selection he just played?” “That was ‘Silk Stockings.’ ” “I thought so. It did have a lot of runs in ...
Article : 33 wordsTramp: “Gimme a ponny for my wife.” Professor (absently): “I regret I must decline. The price Is undoubtedly low, but I already possess one.” ...
Article : 29 wordsWe have here a young lady from Malta, Who used to be seen with a p[?]ater: But she’s read Marie Stopes, And she entertains hopes, ...
Article : 38 wordsLizzie Ford took Baby Austin to the Enfield Empire to see the play called Flying Cloud. On their way Overland they met Nash with his Vauxhall and his son Dennis, who gave them ...
Article : 73 wordsA newly-married husband found his wife very [?]t and Inquired the cause. “What a brute that man Chapman must be,” he sald, sadly. “It says in the paper that he ...
Article : 116 wordsIt was a pitch-black night. The motorist was lost, but hope came back when he saw a notice board. He could not see the words as It was too dark. So he ollmb[?]d up the post, struck a ...
Article : 64 wordsLife is a hard grind,” said the emery wheel. “It’s a perfect bore,” returned the auger. “It means nothing but hard knocks for me,” ...
Article : 95 wordsSandy bought two tickets for a raffie and won a £300 car. His friends rushed up to his house to congratulate him, but found him looking as miserable as could be. ...
Article : 66 wordsAt the time that Kingsford Smith made his voyage to Australia from America, there was born in Wellington a Chinese baby. The parents wished to name it after Kingsford Smith, but ...
Article : 59 wordsHusband: “You remember that fellow you persuaded me to lend a fiver to when he was ill? I passed him in the street to-day.” Tender-Hearted Wife: “Did you, darling? ...
Article : 45 words{No abstract available}
Advertising : 25 wordsTraveller: “I got two orders from O’Flopp & Co., yesterday.” Employer: “What were they?” Traveller: “Get out and stay out.” ...
Article : 29 words{No abstract available}
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Sport (Adelaide, SA : 1911 - 1948), Thu 7 Nov 1929, Page 3
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