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  2. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 91 words
  3. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 365 words
  4. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 427 words
  5. MUST HAVE BEEN A FREAK.

    A young wife [?]ent into a grocer’s shop and said: “I bought three or four hams here about a month or so ago. They were very nice; have you any more of them?” ...

    Article : 77 words
  6. VERY OBLIGING.

    “Might I trouble you to take that pink and yellow tie out of your window for me?” Certainly, sir ; we are always pleased to take anything out of our window at anytime.” ...

    Article : 49 words
  7. SLEEPY.

    A sleeper is one who sleeps. A sleeper is also the name given to a railway carriage in which a sleeper sleeps. A sleeper is also the name of the balks of wood that holds the rails ...

    Article : 117 words
  8. PRIZE WINNERS

    MR. G. WILSON (“G.W.”), 261 Currie St., Adelaide. ORIGINAL. J[?]mmy, a black fellow in the Far North ...

    Article : 168 words
  9. TOO PARTICULAR.

    Small Boy: “Please, mother, I don’t like these holes in the bread.” Tired Mother: “Never mind, you needn’t eat she holes—leave them on the plate.” ...

    Article : 30 words
  10. ABSENT-MINDED.

    A professor was deep in his work when his wife called, “Harry, baby has swallowed the ink. Whatever shall I do?” “Write with a pencil,” was the dreamy reply, ...

    Article : 35 words
  11. WE ELECTORS.

    We shared the views of Billy Hughes. We cooked the goose of Stanley Bruce. We jobbed the job of the Nationalist mob. We retained the laws in the workers’ cause. ...

    Article : 52 words
  12. AFTER THE ELECTIONS.

    Wife: “What does propaganda mean?” Husband: “Well, if you set some geese eggs and no goslings came out, that would show that you did not have the proper gander!” ...

    Article : 36 words
  13. CREDIT.

    A clock, it runs on wheels, A cow, on who is fed it; Po[?]r me, I’m not a clock or cow, So I run along on credit. ...

    Article : 34 words
  14. THE LITTLES.

    The little bees, they honey make, The little birds they sing; But all the little fly can do, Is . . . . . on every thing. ...

    Article : 26 words
  15. DUST.

    There was a young farmer called “Rust,” Who had to work hard for a crust, He prayed once for rain, But never again. ...

    Article : 39 words
  16. MISS G. TOMNEY (“Scotty”), Minlaton.

    The stout old lady was struggling valiantly, out against odds of some two hundred pounds to [?]unt the step of the waiting bus. “Come along Me,” urged the conductor. “If ...

    Article : 102 words
  17. ADAM’S ALE.

    Housewife: “Look at this milk, it’s disgraceful!” “Milkman: “What’s the matter with [?]it, mum? It looks as right as rain to me!” ...

    Article : 31 words
  18. NEW VERSION.

    “Mother, can 1 go out for a fly?” “Yes my darling daughter; don’t go more than three miles high, and don’t fly over water.” ...

    Article : 31 words
  19. OBVIOUS.

    First He: “See that girl; her face is her fortune.” [?]nd He: “Y[?]ah, and it runs into a nice figure.” ...

    Article : 26 words
  20. SHOWN UP.

    Visitor (to bearded lady): “Isn’t it a shock to your sensitive nature to be on exhibition?” The Bearded Lady: “There’s no elp for it lady. I’ve a wife and ten children to support!” ...

    Article : 46 words
  21. THE WRONG FLOUR.

    Captain (to mate): “The pudding you made was very hard: where did you get the flour?” Mate: “From the bin behind the door.” Captain: “Just what I thought. You have ...

    Article : 41 words
  22. STORY OF GIPPSLAND’S HILLS.

    No bushman can say he has seen cold country if he hasn’t been in the South Gippsland hills. At Blackwarry it is so cold that it is a [?]ommon thing for the cattle to break their ...

    Article : 212 words
  23. OPTIMISTIC.

    Friend (to Sandy), who has his aerial attached to a small sapling): “You went to buy a p[?]le, Sandy, and put the aerial up higher. You’ll get a better reception.” ...

    Article : 48 words
  24. OVERHEARD IN THE STREET.

    [?] Alick: “Oh, did you hear that Bruce is ill?” m: “No. Whatever is the matter?” Smart Alick: Me is suffering from Labor ...

    Article : 38 words
  25. THE MAK’NG OF A MAN.

    Hubby: “I can’t eat this stuff,” Wife: “Never m.nd, dear, I have some fine reelpes for making up left-overs.” Hubby: “In that case I’ll eat it new.” ...

    Article : 38 words
  26. FANCY THAT.

    Young Man (to Taxi Driver): “Where—what have you pulled up for?” Taxi Driver: “You said stop!” Young Man: “Drive on, the young lady wasn’t ...

    Article : 32 words
  27. ON THE WRONG SIDE.

    An inmate of a fun[?]tic asylum looking over the wall one day noticed a sporting gent fishing, when the following conversation took place— ...

    Article : 80 words
  28. SMARTY.

    Bill: “When is a man not a man?” Jinks: “When he’s a little hoarse.” ...

    Article : 21 words
  29. MODERN PROPOSAL.

    Oh, darling, don’t you think it’s lime, For us to name the date? If we don’t find our love sublime, Well, we can separate. ...

    Article : 92 words
  30. COULD YOU DO IT.

    Tom: “My father is a poultry dealer. He gave me a hen that lays an egg every week.” Joe: “Oh, that’s nothing; my father’s a member of Parliament. He lays a foundation ...

    Article : 41 words
  31. SOME TURN.

    A policeman on his beat in a one street town, was surprised one day by a man, who tapped him on the shoulder, and pointing out a prosperous looking man ooming towards them, he said ...

    Article : 86 words
  32. COW-ARDLY.

    Joe: “However did you get that black eye?” Bill: “That cow kept flitting its foil in my ace, so I tied a brick to the end of it.” ...

    Article : 40 words
  33. AUTO DO.

    There was a young girl in ,a fliver, Who put the machine In a river; She said, “Oh, good laude!” I just missed the faude! ...

    Article : 43 words
  34. CHANGED IT’S COLOR.

    Two men standing in the street, an Amerian and an Englishman were quarrelling. “Well,” [?]aid the Englishman, “if you can [?]now this question we will part as friends.” ...

    Article : 54 words
  35. TURF NOTES WITH IMAGINARY PEDIGRESS.

    Jack’s Coat (out of Pawn, by the Week-end). Kicked Out (S. M. Bruce, by Commonwealth Request). Licensing Law (All Out, by Six O’clock). ...

    Article : 75 words
  36. A RADIO POEM.

    Yes, we have no . . . Yes, we have atmospherics. We have atmospherics to-day We’ve induction, recaction. ...

    Article : 61 words
  37. PROBABLY HE WAS.

    Gossip No. 1: “Our lodger has two dozen handkerchiefs.” Gossip No. 2: “He must be mad. Two dozen handkerchiefs when he only has one nose.” ...

    Article : 38 words
  38. LITERALLY.

    Maid: “The furniture man is here.” Mistress: “I’ll see him in a minute. Tell him to take a chair.” Mald: “I did, but he said he would start ...

    Article : 42 words
  39. THE VERY THING.

    Hubby was reading his morning paper after breakfast. “Ah! This is wonderful,” said he to his wife. “They are inventing an infallible instrument ...

    Article : 98 words
  40. SEPARATED.

    First Boarder: “What makes the milk look [?]o blue?” Second Anaemic: “Being separated from the cream.” ...

    Article : 23 words
  41. DO YOU KNOW.

    A faint heart often wins a glass of brandy. Hiccups are messages from departed spirits. Notes on the Melbourns Cup are in the bookie’s bags. ...

    Article : 111 words
  42. A FOUL QUESTION.

    The home team was getting knocked about to the dismay or [?]s supporters. At last the feelings of one excited member got the better of him. ...

    Article : 49 words
  43. UP AGAINST IT.

    The drunk lurched out of the pub and made for the open street. He had only gone a short way when he bumped against a telegraph pole. He reeled back a yard or two and advanced ...

    Article : 121 words
  44. KNITTING.

    Typist : “Somebody must have pulled the wool over the boss’ eyes.” Clerk: “How is that?” Typist: “I saw him knitting his brows awhile ...

    Article : 30 words
  45. JIM’S GIRL.

    Jim’s girl is fast, my girl is slow. Jim’s girl wears silk, mine calico. Jim’s girl is bad, but beautiful. My girl is plain, but good. ...

    Article : 43 words
  46. DELIGHTED.

    Woman Policeman: “Come along now! Come along with me and sleep at the police station.” Drunk: “Why—why—with pleasure, madam!” ...

    Article : 30 words
  47. THE DIFFERENCE.

    Long: “What kind of leather makes the best shoes?” Short: “I don’t know. But banana skins make the best slippers.” ...

    Article : 26 words
  48. NOW THIS IS WHERE YOU’LL SLIP!

    She’s got a little carter, Just above her little knee: Just look a little higher and, Her little skirt you’ll see. ...

    Article : 34 words
  49. SILK STOCKINGS.

    “What was the name of the selection he just played?” “That was ‘Silk Stockings.’ ” “I thought so. It did have a lot of runs in ...

    Article : 33 words
  50. CHEAP.

    Tramp: “Gimme a ponny for my wife.” Professor (absently): “I regret I must decline. The price Is undoubtedly low, but I already possess one.” ...

    Article : 29 words
  51. A YOUNG LADY FROM—

    We have here a young lady from Malta, Who used to be seen with a p[?]ater: But she’s read Marie Stopes, And she entertains hopes, ...

    Article : 38 words
  52. A CAR OUTING.

    Lizzie Ford took Baby Austin to the Enfield Empire to see the play called Flying Cloud. On their way Overland they met Nash with his Vauxhall and his son Dennis, who gave them ...

    Article : 73 words
  53. BRUTAL.

    A newly-married husband found his wife very [?]t and Inquired the cause. “What a brute that man Chapman must be,” he sald, sadly. “It says in the paper that he ...

    Article : 116 words
  54. STIFF LUCK.

    It was a pitch-black night. The motorist was lost, but hope came back when he saw a notice board. He could not see the words as It was too dark. So he ollmb[?]d up the post, struck a ...

    Article : 64 words
  55. IN THE CARPENTER’S SHOP.

    Life is a hard grind,” said the emery wheel. “It’s a perfect bore,” returned the auger. “It means nothing but hard knocks for me,” ...

    Article : 95 words
  56. IN ABERDEEN.

    Sandy bought two tickets for a raffie and won a £300 car. His friends rushed up to his house to congratulate him, but found him looking as miserable as could be. ...

    Article : 66 words
  57. WELL DONE.

    At the time that Kingsford Smith made his voyage to Australia from America, there was born in Wellington a Chinese baby. The parents wished to name it after Kingsford Smith, but ...

    Article : 59 words
  58. THE USUAL.

    Husband: “You remember that fellow you persuaded me to lend a fiver to when he was ill? I passed him in the street to-day.” Tender-Hearted Wife: “Did you, darling? ...

    Article : 45 words
  59. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 25 words
  60. NOTHING DOING.

    Traveller: “I got two orders from O’Flopp & Co., yesterday.” Employer: “What were they?” Traveller: “Get out and stay out.” ...

    Article : 29 words
  61. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 34 words
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