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Detailed lists, results, guides : 244 wordsLet me tell you, “Sport,” if you are not already aware of the fact, that all good South Australian sports were downright pleased to hear that ... [ILLUSTRATED]
Article : 1,194 wordsIn order to dig up any latent literary talent, “Sport” offers two weekly prizes of [?] each for the best paragraphs sent in for publication. The items should not exceed 300 words and should be bright and pithy. The two winning stories selected from those published this week will be repeated with contributors' full address in cur next issue. ...
Article : 96 wordsThis week’s prize winners and their nominations are as follows:— Master W. Bubner (“Skinny Ma Link”), Port Wakefield. ...
Article : 175 wordsThe other day a bright newsboy was running along shouting. “Extra; nine lives Inst” “What's that you’re yelling?” asked a man. “Nine lives lost,” replied the boy. ...
Article : 84 wordsMissus (from foot of stairs) : “How are you getting on with the floor polishing, Sarah?” Sarah: “Finished all my top rooms, Mum, an’ now coming down to polish my bottom.” ...
Article : 38 wordsMrs. Newrich: “Did you see the fortune teller?” Mr. Newrich: “Yes.” Mrs. Newrich: “And did he tell you your past properly.” ...
Article : 55 wordsSalvation Army Girl (to old Aberdonian) :— “Will you give a shilling for the lord?” “How auld are ye, lassie?” “Eighteen past.” ...
Article : 55 wordsJohnny leaned over the petrol tank, The depths of the contents to see; He lighted a match to assist him, Oh, bring back my Johnny to me. ...
Article : 32 wordsTeacher: “What three words do schoolboys use most?” Pupil: “I don't know.” Teacher: “Quite right.” ...
Article : 29 wordsA chaplain was visiting a prisoner who was about to be discharged. “What are you going to do when you come cut?” he enquired. ...
Article : 58 wordsTwa S[?]men frae the Hielans cam doon tae Glesca for a wee bit o’ a holiday. One was named Donald and the other was called Sandy. After having a real good time in sight-seeing, ...
Article : 156 wordsSpectator: “The referee looks as if he’ll get into hot water when the match is over.” Local Supporter: “ 'E won’t; 'E’s goin’ in the 'orse trough,” ...
Article : 43 wordsIt was very dark inside the stable, and the new farmhand failed to notice that a cow stood in the horse’s stall. Presently the farmer, annoyed at having to wait, made his appearance. ...
Article : 78 wordsA crowd were telling tall tales. They were becoming more and more incredible, and at last only two reconteurs were left. Said the American: “When I left New York ...
Article : 76 wordsBoy: “Dad, when I grow up, can I marry grandma?” Father: “No, you can’t marry my mother.” Boy: “Be a sport, dad, you married mine.” ...
Article : 39 wordsTwo travellers of rival firms were discussing the business of their respective firms, and were always arguing as to which firm was the largest of the two. Upon meeting at an hotel one ...
Article : 109 wordsA farmer wrote to the editor of a paper asking for a method of ridding his orchard of grasshoppers. in the same mall the editor received a plea for advice from an anxious mother about ...
Article : 110 wordsNurse (telling bedtime story): “And the big bear gave a great big knock at the door. Rat-tat-tat. And then the Little Bear gave [?] teeny-weeny knock at the door—” ...
Article : 51 wordsWas Anne Boleyn a flat-iron?” asked the small girl. “A flat-iron! Why ever do you ask that.” “Because I heard that Henry Vll. pressed his ...
Article : 36 wordsHiggins: “Hullo, Matthews, old chap! I hear you backed Perfect Fool at the races the other day and made a small fortune.” Matthews: “Yes, 1 didn’t do badly.” ...
Article : 60 wordsWho picks up night when it falls? Which is which when a man is beside himself? When the censors are going to make their incomes get the money with which to live beyond ...
Article : 54 words“To make dairying a success one must keep good milking cows,” said the Government Dairy expert to his country audience. “Some cows will pay handsomely, but some will never pay.” ...
Article : 56 wordsPatent: “I say [?] it would [?] good [?] and go to some place where the [?]” Doctor: “Good heavens, man! Isn’t that just ...
Article : 45 wordsThey were looking at the kangaroo at the zoo. Said Pat: “Beg pardon, sorr, [?]what kind of a creature is that?” ...
Article : 53 words“My poor husband was a wonderful artist,” sighed the landlady as she hacked at the pie crust. “He said he always found inspiration in my cooking.” ...
Article : 44 wordsWife: “What [?]ave you got there, Bill?” Bill: “Only a bull-pup.” “Where do you think you’re going to keep It when it’s a full-grown bull?” ...
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Sport (Adelaide, SA : 1911 - 1948), Thu 4 Jul 1929, Page 3
It's easy and takes two shakes of a lamb's tail!
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