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  2. FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

    Johnny : " Pa, is it wrong to steal from a trust ?" Johnny's Pa: " Don't let the question bother you any, my son. It's impossible." ...

    Article : 34 words
  3. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    The hardest thing to raise on a farm is a mortgage. Trouble and mules should never be approached from the rear. ...

    Article : 918 words
  4. WHY HE TRAMPED.

    This dialogue actually took place between a habitual vagrant and an English poorhouse official :— "What have you been doing for the ...

    Article : 117 words
  5. THE CUSTOMARY CLIMAX.

    Nordy : "How did that new play end ?" Butts : "Oh, in the usual way." Nordy : "And what do you call the usual way ?" ...

    Article : 43 words
  6. FILIAL PIETY.

    Mother : "Do you like my new gown, Millicent ?" Millicent (aged 5, with conviction) : If there is a lady god, you look just like her ...

    Article : 32 words
  7. THE READY REPARTEE.

    This book," began the agent who had pushed his way into the office. "Don't want it," snapped the busy merchant. "I wish I knew some sure way to ...

    Article : 44 words
  8. REALLY A BIG TOWN.

    Farmer Medders : "So ye stopped over one train in N' York on Thanksgiving ? Is there much ter see there ?" Farmer Plum : "Is they much ter see? ...

    Article : 58 words
  9. HOW SHE KNEW HER BABY.

    First Societly Woman : "That's my baby that we just passed." Second Society Woman : "How could you tell ?" ...

    Article : 34 words
  10. BOTH OF ONE MIND.

    "Look here, young man," said the bad boy's father, "I'll expect you to behave better in the future. I don't want your mother to be worrying about you all the ...

    Article : 50 words
  11. JUST ONE ADVANTAGE.

    She: "What is the use of searching for the North Pole, anyway?" He : "Why, it would result in a great saving of money if found." ...

    Article : 50 words
  12. STATEMENT MAY BE TRUE.

    Butts : " Well, I guess this man is telling the truth about his case." Nordy : " You believe what he says, do you ?" ...

    Article : 55 words
  13. MISTAKEN IDENTITY.

    When I was Jones, unhappy wretch ! My fate termed vulgarly a stretch, In Jones's cell a weary time I spent, repenting Jones's crime ; ...

    Article : 194 words
  14. MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL.

    "Will you keep my daughter in the style to which she has been accustomed ?" "No, sir; I'll keep her in a style to Which she has not been accustomed." ...

    Article : 66 words
  15. STIRRED AT LAST.

    The hostess asked the solid man of her company to take a young and talkati[?] woman in to dinner. The woman did her best to keep up ...

    Article : 97 words
  16. PHILOSOPHY OF THE OLD SCOTCHMAN.

    "Weel, John, how are you to-day?" asked the Scottish minister. "Gey weel, sir ; gey weel," replied John cautiously ; "gin it wasno for the ...

    Article : 88 words
  17. SASS AT SAFE DISTANCE.

    Jenkins : " I gave it to that man straight, I can tell you, sir. He is twice as big as I am, too, but I told him exactly what I thought of him and of his conduct. ...

    Article : 82 words
  18. A USEFUL ALBUM.

    It was at the breakfast table, and the pretty daughter of the household was propitiating her father. "Jack asked me to apologise to you for ...

    Article : 142 words
  19. BOUND TO SUCCEED.

    "Papa," said the young hopeful, looking up from the book he was perusing, "there a a word here I don't know—diplomacy. What does it mean ?" ...

    Article : 112 words
  20. THE OLD STORY.

    A clergyman in one of the Hudson River towns united a German couple in marriage. When the knot was tied the bridegroom said: ...

    Article : 86 words
  21. THE WIFE-PUNISHER.

    * Ten or a dozen yean ago—so the itory goes—the French Government considered that it would be diplomatic conduct on their part to present the Sultan of Morocco ...

    Article : 241 words
  22. SCHOOL CHILDREN'S "HOWLERS."

    Here is another collection of school children's queer answers, recorded by teachers :— What are the functions of the skin ...

    Article : 489 words
  23. A KNOWING DOG.

    This story of a retriever dog's intelligence is said to be quite true. One evening, when the owner of the dog was absent from home, his wife and some ...

    Article : 185 words
  24. CANNED WHITE MAN.

    Burton Holmes, the lecturer, says that the Indians of Alaska regard white men and canned goods as so closely associated that they are nearly synonymous. ...

    Article : 149 words
  25. BREAKING THE ICE.

    James Potter had been attentive to Anne Bronson for upward of three years. According to the simple code of his class, he had " kept company" with her openly, ...

    Article : 277 words
  26. THE WRONG WOMEN.

    Here are women a man should beware of when he thinks of marrying:— The woman who buyes for the mere pleasure of buying. ...

    Article : 244 words
  27. THE ONE WOMAN.

    Her early education was attended to with care, When she was grown she didn't have a rival anywhere; ...

    Article : 187 words
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