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  2. EASILY EXPLAINED.

    Visitor: "What are you crying about, my little man?" Little Willie: "All my brothers hez got a holiday, and I [?] got none." ...

    Article : 41 words
  3. Alotsam and Jetsam

    "I don't like your milk," said the mistress of the house. "What's wrong with it, mum?" "It's dreadfully thin, and there's no cream ...

    Article : 50 words
  4. HIS FAMILY TREE.

    "Young man," said the farmer, "I must say you've done a lot of talking about your family tree Anybody would think you owned a timber yard. Come out into the lane a ...

    Article : 92 words
  5. FLUCTUATIONS.

    London Stockbroker (11 a.m.): "Never saw such luck! I'll have to sell my house on the river and my horses if this keeps on." Same Man (2p.m.): "Hurrah! I shall have ...

    Article : 67 words
  6. TOOK HIS ADVICE.

    After she had been married six months she went to her old bachelor uncle, who believes that a matrimonial alliance is a voluntary acceptance of slavery. ...

    Article : 254 words
  7. LITERALLY TRUE.

    A kind-hearted squire dismissed a gardener who used to purloin his fruit and vegetables. For the sake of the man's wife and family, however, he gave him a testimonial worded ...

    Article : 66 words
  8. FIVE MARRIED SISTERS.

    Claiborne F. Jackson, the once famous Governor of Missouri, married five sisters in reasonable lapses of consecutiveness. When he asked for the hand of the last, it is said that ...

    Article : 76 words
  9. HARD AT BOTTOM.

    A traveller riding in an unfrequented part of Scotland came to the edge of a morass, which he had thought was quite safe. Hailing a peasant lad who was standing close by he ...

    Article : 92 words
  10. MISUNDERSTOOD.

    A gentleman called at a country manse in Scotland, and inquired if the minister was at home. The servant who answered the door replied ...

    Article : 82 words
  11. MINCING MATTERS.

    An old lady, who was troubled with dreams, informed the clergyman of the parish that on a night she dreamt she saw her grandfather, who had been dead for ten years. ...

    Article : 68 words
  12. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    It's an ill wind that blows the doctor good. "What animal is it that is web-footed, Tommie?" "The spider, ma[?]am." ...

    Article : 702 words
  13. CAPTAIN JENKS'S PET PIKE.

    The angler is again in his glory, and many picturesque stories are being scattered abroad of fine catches and strange experiences with the finny treasures of the deep. Perhaps the ...

    Article : 335 words
  14. JEAMES'S REVENGE.

    Thackeray used to rail against the "snobbish" custom of publishing the names of guests invited to fashionable entertainments, declaring that they ware supplied by the ...

    Article : 157 words
  15. IN A DILEMMA.

    A woman who is of high social distinction in America was presented to the Kaiser at some dinner that was not attended with royal state. She was talking to him when she was ...

    Article : 110 words
  16. AT LAST.

    "In the navy, art you, my friend?" inquired a man with mutton-chop whiskers to his neighbour in a 'bus. The sailor nodded. ...

    Article : 103 words
  17. COULDN'T FIND THE CORKSCREW.

    They live pretty well cut, in a handsome home, but not near enough to a fire station to be "handy in case of accident." As the house is their own and their all, the husband had been ...

    Article : 243 words
  18. DISGUSTED WITH THE CHOIR.

    The Messiah was song recently in Philadelphia, and one of the anthems rendered by the chorus has as its theme "We have turned every one to his own way." As anthems go ...

    Article : 137 words
  19. THAT SCHOOLBOY!

    To the majority of people, perhaps a school master's life appears monotonous and uneventful; but to one who is apt to look upon the humorous side of things this is far from being ...

    Article : 774 words
  20. SNAIL RACING.

    Parisians have a new summer sport. It is snail racing. While not quite as exciting as horse racing, it has the advantage of being enjoyed at the clubs, cafes, or any place ...

    Article : 237 words
  21. A CANNY BUYER.

    "We had a salvage sale of groceries a few weeks ago," said one of the largest auctioneers in Cincinnati, "and among the things offered were 17,000 cans of assorted vegetables, fruits, ...

    Article : 221 words
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