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  2. Flotsam and Jetsam

    I love you in an all absorbing, fond, unselfish way, I dream of you the long night thro', I think of you each day, Whene'er I hear your voice, my dear, a spell o'er me ...

    Article : 149 words
  3. His Favourite Kind.

    Visitor (calling for keys of church): "Bythe-bye, there are some rather fine gargoyles in your church, are there not?" Verger's Wife: "I dunno about the ...

    Article : 59 words
  4. Of One mind.

    "I told the editor I had some poetical Ideas I wanted to carry out." "What did he say?" "He said he wished I would carry them ...

    Article : 43 words
  5. A Disgusted Volunteer.

    "I say, Chawlie, old chap, don't you weally think that the Smythe girls carry a Joke pretty far sometimes? Don't you, weally?" ...

    Article : 242 words
  6. Youthful Reasoning.

    Tommy does a great deal of thinking on his own responsibility, and he broke out the other day with: "Papa, Old Father Time must be a long way behind the times." ...

    Article : 63 words
  7. An Apt Deflation.

    Teacher: "Thomas, will you tell me what a conjunction is, and compose a sentence containing a conjunction?" Thomas (after long and solemn reflection): ...

    Article : 61 words
  8. Undecided.

    It was an industrious farmer that the passer-by airily accosted as he made his preparation for irrigating a field. "Ah," said the stranger, "preparing to ...

    Article : 67 words
  9. Nice to be a Heathen.

    Little John Thickneck (after casting his penny into the fund for the Bamalam Islanders): "I wish I was a heathen!" Sabbath School Teacher: "Oh, Johnny! ...

    Article : 58 words
  10. Easily Arranged.

    "Dear Charlie, if I marry you, w[?] you get up and make the fires in the morning?" "Darling girl, we will get married in the summer. Before winter you will get used ...

    Article : 42 words
  11. Way He Went.

    Sothern was once discomfited by the quick repartee of one of his audience. The great comedian was stupidly sensitive to interruptions of any sort, and seeing a man in the ...

    Article : 92 words
  12. An Offer Still Open.

    An eccentric old gentleman placed in a field on his estate a board with the following generous offer painted thereon:—"I will give this field to any man who is ...

    Article : 79 words
  13. Expensive Economy.

    "What's the reason that Cutterly goes around like a war cloud?" "He smoked some cheap tobacco one day while his wife was away. When she came ...

    Article : 50 words
  14. Facts and Fancies.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest man.—HUDIBRAS. Never put off till to-morrow what can be done to-day. Put it off till the week after ...

    Article : 793 words
  15. An Easy Victory.

    "Ah," the fond mother sighed, "you say you love my daughter now, but will you love her when she is old?" Steadily looking her in the eyes, he ...

    Article : 55 words
  16. United by Cable.

    He wanted to ask her to be his ownest own, but the conventional words he had studied up so carefully failed him. She guessed his purpose, but saw no chance ...

    Article : 119 words
  17. Her Dream.

    An Irish earl and his lady were riding out one morning, and meeting one of their tenantry gave her a kindly greeting. "And shure I had a drame about yer ...

    Article : 98 words
  18. A Man to be Trusted.

    "How did you happen to trust that man for groceries, Spotly? You had to ask his name." "Yet I know him for a courageously ...

    Article : 59 words
  19. An Awakened Conscience.

    A little boy who had been blowing bubbles all the morning, tired of play, and suddenlygrowing serious, said, "Read me that story about heaven, it's so pretty." ...

    Article : 119 words
  20. They Knew Well Enough.

    An ocean-going captain was so much given to using bad language that his first mate made a bet with him that he could not do without swearing for a week. It ...

    Article : 122 words
  21. So It Would.

    "Do you know your orders, sentinel?" was asked of a not over-bright soldier on guard duty recently. "Yes, sir," was the reply. ...

    Article : 81 words
  22. Worked Both Ways.

    A party of wits once stopped at a tavern. When the feast was over, one of the number called in the hostess. "Angelique," he said, "I am going, to give you a lesson in ...

    Article : 124 words
  23. Upsetting the Bore.

    Sir Henry Irving is one of the kindesthearted of men, and would not willingly hurt any one's feelings. In consequence he suffers sometimes from the want of ...

    Article : 164 words
  24. Making Sure of It.

    Some years ago a young Scotsman tried his luck at the Monte Carlo gambling tables, and was fortunate enough to win a very large sum—between twenty and thirty ...

    Article : 126 words
  25. Longevity from Drink.

    A temperance lecturer was struggling against-odds in Kentucky. He was talking to a not very large audience that had been drawn to the hall by curiosity. ...

    Article : 150 words
  26. Music Has [?]s Uses.

    "Never heard how Dandy Dick got away with Ole Bonanzey's gal? That's funny. I s'posed everybody knowed all 'bout that. It kim off 'bout ten years ago and the ...

    Article : 345 words
  27. Two Dog Stories.

    Our Newfoundland dog's name is Donatello, which again is shortened to Don. The only great fault Don ever committed was stealing a piece of meat from ...

    Article : 306 words
  28. How the Spies Were Trapped.

    Sir. H.H. Kitchener, the Egyptian Sirdar, is a tall, dark-skinned man, who in disguise would pass easily for a native. Of his knowledge of Mohammedan languages and ...

    Article : 164 words
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