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  2. A Model Patient.

    "When I was a student in Philadelphia," says an American doctor, "I had a patient, an Irishman, with a broken leg. When the plaster bandage was removed and a lighter one ...

    Article : 142 words
  3. A Second-hand President.

    It is reported that Mr. Tyler, from the time of his election to the Vice-presidency of the United States until the death of General Harrison, kept no carriage, owing to the ...

    Article : 329 words
  4. Warmth at Last.

    Neighbour (rushing in): "Quick, man! Your house is on fire—but you may be able to save it yet." Suburban Resident: "Let her burn—it'll ...

    Article : 40 words
  5. Flotsam and Jetsam.

    Mrs. Smallwort: "You are the most ridiculous ninny. The idea of you calling the cook in to compliment her on that beefsteak, when you know it was simply horrid." ...

    Article : 68 words
  6. Must Have Been Misfits.

    "Ma," said Willie, who had been to the Missionary Sewing Bee with his mother, "I feel very sorry for the poor little heathen." "That's right, Willie; I am glad to see you ...

    Article : 61 words
  7. Too Personal.

    Mr. Murray Hill: "Allow me to congratulate you on your marriage. Your wife is certainly a most charming lady." Mr. Uglymug: "Yes, and she is as amiable ...

    Article : 62 words
  8. A Coined Joke.

    In looking over old files of papers some weeks ago a correspondent discovered the following paragraph:—"Coining jokes is a very common figure of speech; but we know of ...

    Article : 147 words
  9. Too Heavy a Hand.

    "This won't go for a penny," said a postal clerk, returning to an old negro a letter which he had passed through the delivery window. "What's de matter wid it?" ...

    Article : 85 words
  10. That Would Account For It.

    Lawyer: "Is that your signature on the back of this cheque?" Merchant: "I don't know, sir. It may be." "Does it look like your signature?" ...

    Article : 76 words
  11. Compensation.

    "I am sorry for you, Walter," said the kind-hearted surgeon, "but the thumb will have to come off." "My hand won't be of much use, will it, ...

    Article : 73 words
  12. A Little Bit of Blug.

    A celebrated actor was one day, whilst hunting, suddenly accosted by a gamekeeper, who asked him by what right he dared to hunt in that place. The former, assuming a most ...

    Article : 91 words
  13. Wateright Stock.

    The broker was trying to sell the rich old chap a block of a certain Block which was being manipulated by men whom the rich old chap had reason to suspect. ...

    Article : 151 words
  14. Facts and Fancies.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.—HUDIBRAS. The man who assiduously courts trouble will in the end be married to it. ...

    Article : 779 words
  15. Information Wanted.

    The mayor of a Western city noted for its healthful situation not long ago received the following letter from one who wanted information:— ...

    Article : 120 words
  16. The Sine Qua Noa.

    A very quaint personage was a certain old German professor of music. One day there visited his sanctum a pretentious young gentleman, who informed the professor that he ...

    Article : 122 words
  17. Sweet Consolation.

    Judge Q., who once presided over a criminal court "out West," was famous as one of the most compassionate men who ever sat upon the bench. His softness of heart, however, ...

    Article : 113 words
  18. A Talented Dog.

    "Speakin" of smart dogs," said Mr. Stretchit, "reminds me of a dog I owned [?]other year. That 'ere dog knowed when it was Sunday, an' went to church reg'iar, an' ...

    Article : 202 words
  19. In a Perilous Condition.

    It was Paddy Kelly who walked into the sick room of Mickey Dolan. Mickey lay there, pale, with his eyes closed, and heard Pat exclaim: ...

    Article : 124 words
  20. The Preacher's Hat.

    A distinguished preacher, of somewhat arbitrary manners, was engaged to preach in Belgravia, and purchased a new hat for the occasion. He was met outside his residence by a ...

    Article : 175 words
  21. British Phlegm.

    The British agriculturist must be a phlegmatic creature if some of the stories told of him may be trusted. In the "Spectator" a south country vicar tells of a farm labourer whose cottage lay ...

    Article : 391 words
  22. A Pair of Them.

    He was an oldish man with a good-natured face and a weed on his hat, and he sat down is a tramcar beside another oldish man with a good-natured face and a weed on his hat. ...

    Article : 129 words
  23. His Memoriser.

    He got out of his waggon in front of a clothing store and said to the floorwalker who met him at the door: "I'm thinkin' of buyin' a suit of clothes. ...

    Article : 229 words
  24. A Sure Way.

    Clara: "You've heard me speak of young Mr. Bagster, haven't you?" Maud: "Oh yes." Clara: "Do you know, the fellow has fallen ...

    Article : 150 words
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