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  2. WIT AND HUMOR.

    Jack: Do you think a fellow ought to be locked up for stealing kisses? Flo: Well, I think he ought to be tied up. Little Willie: Grand dad, what makes a man ...

    Article : 655 words
  3. NOT HIGH CONSIDERING.

    House Hunter: Isn't £800 rather high for that house? Agent: High! Confound it, man, certain friends of mine, when they heard I was offering that ...

    Article : 44 words
  4. A CONTINUOUS PERFORMANCE.

    Mrs. Passay: Shakspeare says man has seven ages. At firsts-- Jack Gayford (interrupting): Well, a woman has only three. ...

    Article : 44 words
  5. HA! HA! HA!

    "Women are not what they used to be." "No, indeed; but why not; uncle?" "Because they used to be girls!" ...

    Article : 33 words
  6. SYSTEM AT FAULT.

    "Well, my boy," said the father, "I understand that you have been lighting?" "I was in something of a scrimmage," replied the youth. ...

    Article : 200 words
  7. A QUICK DEAL.

    He: Do you know how Jack proposed to Maud so as to save time? She: No: tell me. He: Well, he just held up the engagement ring ...

    Article : 52 words
  8. PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.

    The swish is father to the taught. The proof of the padding in the beating. Every crowd has a copper lining. ...

    Article : 31 words
  9. EASILY DONE.

    Jenks: I've forgotten, all the Latin I ever knew. Jo[?]ks: I should take a quarter of an hour one day, if I were you, and pick it up again. ...

    Article : 38 words
  10. "SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT."

    Ex-Convict (meeting Gaol Governor in the street) : 'Morning, sir. 'Ope you're well, sir. Thought you'd be glad to 'ear as 'ow I'd got a job, sir ...

    Article : 73 words
  11. DOWN IN THE VILLAGE.

    "And what became of your daughter, Mrs. Mulligan?" "Well, sir, she was that useless entirely that Taint her to London for to be a lady help!" ...

    Article : 33 words
  12. HAD GOT USED TO IT.

    The Back Street Swifts were playing Dooley Alley, on the former's' "ground," when the man in blue appeared on the scene. A rush, a general scramble, and the constable ...

    Article : 108 words
  13. A TIGHT CORNER.

    Swaggers (gently, but firmly): Sorry, old chap Money's very tight just now. Touchstone: Eh? Yes, but perhaps you've some loose cash about you? What? ...

    Article : 29 words
  14. "THE RACES."

    The milking was over, and we were all preparing to start jor the races. Joe and Tom and Bill and Barty rode arid led Honeysuckle. Honeysuckle was a racehorse. She was also a mare--a ...

    Article : 796 words
  15. BUT WAS HE[?]

    Spooks: Now. you know who I mean, don't you? Sparks: I think I know him He's a Unitarian. ...

    Article : 48 words
  16. AN IRISH ELECTION.

    Viscount Liandaff, who, when Mr. Henry. Matthews, was Home Secretary in Lord Salisbury's Ministry in 1886-92. gives a spirited account in the "Dublin Review" "of his election for ...

    Article : 359 words
  17. A SEASONABLE TO QUOQUE.

    Vicar (addressing Sunday school): And now, boys, I wish you all a very happy new year, and remember, that the best way to make it so is to behave well at home. ...

    Article : 46 words
  18. DANGERS OF PEACE.

    Johnny was a very good boy, as small boys go but he had one fault which it seemed impossible for his mother to overcome. He would fight with other boys. He had been reproved, and at last ...

    Article : 119 words
  19. SO DISCREET.

    He: And you've been careful who you told of our engagement, dearest? She: Oh, yes, darling. I've told everyone, in fact. And, what's more, I didn't say it was a ...

    Article : 37 words
  20. OUT OF DATE.

    Hobbs: My dear old man, I've only just heard that you were married a month ago. Let me congratulate you--if it isn't too late. Dobbs: Thanks all the same, old chap, but it ...

    Article : 44 words
  21. NOT QUITE OLD ENOUGH.

    In the days of Barnum, an old "auntie" lived in East. Tennessee who was reputed to be of great age. Like all of her kind she was extremely proud of the distinction, and she never under-estimated ...

    Article : 274 words
  22. ONE LITTLE FAVOR.

    She: No, it can never be. I do net love you enough to be your wife. But, before you go, I want to ask one favor. He (dejectedly): Well, what? ...

    Article : 42 words
  23. INTERESTED.

    Barber: You're getting frightfully bald, sir. Customer (savagely): Well, I don't see how that concerns you. Barber: Excuse me, sir, but it does. You wont ...

    Article : 42 words
  24. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 691 words
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