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  2. A WARNING.

    Don't think, fond mother, that because your son is shy of the girls he will remain unmarried for many years. The shyer the youth the more certain is he to become the prey of the young woman ...

    Article : 46 words
  3. WIT AND HUMOR.

    Did More.--"Did she make eyes at you when you tried to flirt with her?" "More than that. She made whole faces." A Model.--Miss Antique: "Is he nice, quiet ...

    Article : 708 words
  4. PERSONAL

    Sir William Symons's wife is a daughter of the late Mr. T. P. Hawkins, of the widely known firm of T. P. Hawkins and Co., Birmingham. ...

    Article : 1,211 words
  5. CREATIVE.

    Teacher: "Johnny, what is a thief?" Johnny Hardup: "Dunno." Teacher: "Oh, yes, you do. Now, what would I be it I took money out of your pocket?" ...

    Article : 40 words
  6. ANECDOTES OF UNKNOWN MEN.

    Mr. M, Baliner, the undertaker, was never at a loss for an answer when any one attempted to poke fun at him or his profession. One day a would-be wit remarked to him: ...

    Article : 447 words
  7. TOO GALLING.

    Shep: "I am really surprised at your biting him. I thought you had better control of your temper." Bull: "Uusually I can control myself; but when ...

    Article : 51 words
  8. THE VALUE OF A VOWEL.

    He: "I am rather more in favor of the English than the American mode of spelling. She: "Yes?" "Yes, indeed. Take 'parlor,' for instance. ...

    Article : 43 words
  9. WITH PLEASURE.

    M'Swatters: "I always love to hear that girl next door play The Minstrel Boy." Mrs. M'Swatters: "I thought you said you couldn't stand her piano playing? ...

    Article : 44 words
  10. THE BOER AND THE JEW.

    The Boer in trading transactions somewhat resembles Bret Harte's Heathen Chinee. He is "childlike," but by no means "bland." A farmer sold a quantity of wood to a Jewish ...

    Article : 546 words
  11. DELIGHTED.

    "Do you," said the official, "swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and--" "Oh, how lovely!" the fair witness interrupted. "May I really talk all the afternoon If I want ...

    Article : 36 words
  12. UNEXCEPTIONABLE REFERENCES.

    "Why did you leave your last place?" asked Mrs. Willoughby of the would be cook. "I hovn't left my lasht place," replied the applicant. "I hovn't had any lasht place to leave. ...

    Article : 51 words
  13. IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED.

    "Miss Gwendolen," said he, as they sat on the beach in the moonlight, "will you marry me? "This is so startling!" she cried. "My love?" he asked. ...

    Article : 36 words
  14. HIS PRESENT FAD.

    "You don't scan to be buying many rare books nowadays," said Perkins to Jimpsonberry. "Got tired of collecting?" "No," replied Jimpsonberry, changed my ...

    Article : 75 words
  15. TOO MATTER OF FACT.

    "The ' Genius of Liberty,' " said the editor of that newspaper, who was giving instructions to a newly engaged reporter, "prints facts, and facts only. The motto under which all our men work ...

    Article : 541 words
  16. CONVERSATIONAL MONOPOLY.

    Hicks: "What a peculiar man Sildins is? He is so quiet, you know." Wicks: "Yes, he carries things to extremes. When he started out in life he was advised never ...

    Article : 66 words
  17. FAR OTHERWISE.

    The poet was in his best clothes. He was doing the society act. In a corner of the brilliantly lighted parlor he sat with a look of abstraction on his pale, scholarly ...

    Article : 84 words
  18. THEY WOULD FETCH IT.

    During the lost Transvaal war, by some chance or another the Boers managed to capture a flag from the English. Of this feat they have always been extremely proud, and have never lost an ...

    Article : 118 words
  19. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 308 words
  20. QUITE A DIFFERENT MATTER.

    Mae : "When are you to be married?" Ethel : "Married! Who said I was going to be married?" Mac: "Why everybody knows you are engaged." ...

    Article : 40 words
  21. THE WEAKNESS OF THE CLERGY.

    The author was "in principle a celibate," but, alas! in practice he succumbed to the charms of a fair church decorator. Soon after the marriage came, of course, the benefice. "Yes," he says, ...

    Article : 148 words
  22. AND THEN THEY LAUGHED.

    "Do you think," he asked, "that your father has any suspicion of my love for you?" "No," she replied; "he is completely deceived. I overheard him and mamma talking about it last ...

    Article : 54 words
  23. HIS FIGURES WERE WRONG.

    Bilkins : "It's a mistake about people being made one when they are married. My wife and I were made ten." Wilkins : "Made ten?" ...

    Article : 40 words
  24. OTHER EXAMPLES.

    Some of Mr. Grundy a stories have, of course, been printed before. A young curate who had preached before Archbishop Temple tried, as they walked home together, to gauge the bishop's ...

    Article : 146 words
  25. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 104 words
  26. NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

    Such is an example of the bantering style in which the writer indulges. His trials with a careless, sarcastic curate, who nearly breaks his heart over the vicar's own daughter, are delightfully ...

    Article : 193 words
  27. A CRIMINAL OPERATION.

    "Someone," said Witherby, "gave you that counterfeit coin on purpose. You can't, of course, recollect where you got it?" "I am afraid not," said Mrs. Witherby. "I ...

    Article : 228 words
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