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  2. BREVITIES.

    Private letters from the Duke of Norfolk record his whereabouts at the war. He has joined the staff of General Kelly-Kenny, and has found pleasant enough quarters in Bloemfontein. ...

    Article : 3,366 words
  3. WIT AND HUMOR.

    Appropriate garments for Messrs. Kruger and Steyn: Cut-away coats. Smifkins (looking at impressionist picture): "Well, if that's high art, I'm an idiot." ...

    Article : 317 words
  4. BRER LION AND BRER- RABBIT HAVE A TUG OF WAR.

    "Uncle Remus," said the little boy one evening, "you haven't told me anything about the rabbit for a long time. How did he get on with the fox after he beat him at cards?" ...

    Article : 844 words
  5. PREACHING AND PRACTISING.

    A good story connecting Sir Andrew Clark, who was Mr. Gladstone's doctor, and Mr. Moody, the American evangelist. Is told in the official biography of the latter, which is just out. Being ...

    Article : 155 words
  6. BEGINNINGS OF A GREAT CAREER.

    "What's the matter, my boy?" asked the elderly philanthropist, pausing in his morning walk. The boy. who had been crawling along at the edge of the pavement, turned a tear-stained face ...

    Article : 161 words
  7. MARK TWAIN ON THE DRAMA.

    At a banquet to Sir Henry Irving, Mr. b. Clemens (Mark Twain) proposed the toast of The Drama. He said:--I find my task a very easy one. I have been a dramatist for 30 years. I ...

    Article : 601 words
  8. FITTING A STOVE PIPE.

    "Can't you get it together, John?' Rev. Mr. Sparks: "No, I can't, Mary; and if it wasn't that I'm a minister, I'd sat that I felt like kicking the whole damn thing to pieces!" ...

    Article : 45 words
  9. A TRYING OCCASION.

    "You are late, madam." "You said eleven." "Yest madam; but yesterday." "My! how stupid! Did it matter?" ...

    Article : 179 words
  10. VERY LONG HOURS.

    "Did you dance until the wee sma' hours?" asked one young man. "No, I didn't We danced till the last train had gone, and I had to walk three miles. They ...

    Article : 50 words
  11. WAR NEWS.

    Mrs. Rooral: "The paper sez the British her captured the Boers' laager." Mr. Rooral (Emphatically): "That settles the war. Take away a Dutchman's beer, and his ...

    Article : 34 words
  12. PROFESSIONAL TACT.

    Something more than a soft, brown beard is necessary to make a successful doctor these days. No doctor is likely to amount to much who hasn't also the sense to call torpid liver brain fug. ...

    Article : 37 words
  13. A PHRASE DEFINED.

    "How do you define the phrase 'as black as your hat'?" asked a finical professor of a student who had just used the expression. "Well, sir," replied the student, "I should ...

    Article : 43 words
  14. WHY HE HESITATED.

    "Can't you set a date for 'the payment of this little bill?" asked the collector. "I could if it wasn't for one thing," answered the debtor. ...

    Article : 42 words
  15. THE CHINESE PUZZLE.

    Thecr's a lot of puzzles goin', Though the knowin' Stawts a-crowin', Though they says such things is [?] and egsplines ...

    Article : 251 words
  16. HONOR WAS SATISFIED.

    "Mamma," said 4-year-old Willie, "that mean little Smith girl called me a monkey to-day." "Then what happened?" asked the mother. "Well," replied Willie, "you see, I couldn't slap ...

    Article : 46 words
  17. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 252 words
  18. NO WONDER.

    Guide: "At 'this spot you may hear the famous echo that repeats a sound 24 times. A man went crazy here last year." Tourist: "Crazy? Why?" ...

    Article : 49 words
  19. QUITE THE CONTRARY.

    Cholly: "The boys are saying you offered yourself to Miss Quickstep, and She refused you." Algy: "Offered myself? It isn't that! I told her that if she was keen to get married I was ...

    Article : 62 words
  20. PREPARED FOR EVERY ILL.

    "But." we urged, "life is not all joy. Do you do anything to fortify these young persons against the sorrows of life?" The head mistress of Birton College smiled a ...

    Article : 58 words
  21. GIRLISH AMENITIES.

    Fay: "I accepted Mr. Roxley last night." May: "Good gracious! Weren't you nervous about it?" Fay: "No. Why?" ...

    Article : 42 words
  22. THROUGH FIRE AND WATER.

    "I will yet win you, lass,' said he, "though it be through fire and water." And he went his way, A few years--some short and sonic long--had ...

    Article : 77 words
  23. THE PROPRIETOR AND THE REPORTER.

    A typical American newspaper proprietor, once a poor man, afterwards the owner of a San Francisco daily, then a bankrupt, and now on the point of emergence from the gutter, retains the respect of ...

    Article : 230 words
  24. HIS EXPLANATION.

    "Did you ever bribe anybody?" asked the man, who is sadly undiplomatic. "How dare you ask such a question?" exclaimed the professional influencer. "When I find a ...

    Article : 58 words
  25. PROPERLY ANNOUNCED.

    "Why don't you announce me?" demanded the pompous lady. "Beg pardon, ma'am," said the new butler, who had been puzzling over her card. "I can't quite ...

    Article : 47 words
  26. AN EXHIBITION SITTING.

    Guide (to a noble stanger): Pray take a seat. Stranger: where are we? Guide: In one of the boxes of the Chamber of Deputies, in that one which is especially reserved ...

    Article : 488 words
  27. A MORAL ANECDOTE.

    The French duel has at last won a place among agencies deleterious to human life. A few weeks ago a Parisian sculptor fought a Journalist who had pungently criticised his work. Having ...

    Article : 86 words
  28. HABIT IS EVERYTHING.

    The evils of drinking were the subject upon which two prominent clubmen communed the Other day. "Why not ask one's friends to take something more useful than a drink?" Acting ...

    Article : 114 words
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