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  2. PERSONAL

    Commen[?]tore Pacelli, the oldest man in Rome, has died at the age of 103. The Pope had a special liking for the old man, and received him often, chatting with him ...

    Article : 1,240 words
  3. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 403 words
  4. WIT AND HUMOR.

    Some engagements end happily, and others end in marriage. If a girl kisses you don't kiss her back. Kiss her square on the lips. ...

    Article : 620 words
  5. BITTERER THAN DEATH.

    Mr. Newwed: "There's no use talking--I won't eat any more of your cooking." Mrs. Newwed (tearfully): And you--you said you were willing to--die--die for me." ...

    Article : 43 words
  6. DIPLOMACY.

    Lady: "My husband won't wear those shirts I bought for him at Christmas. I didn't think he would; and now I'd like to exchange them." Clerk: "For what, madam?" Lady: "Well, you ...

    Article : 56 words
  7. DRAWING THE LINE.

    Mrs. Hatterson: "Mrs. Hallplate gave me the impression that she was quite intimate with you." Mrs. Catterson: "Nonsense! We are thrown ...

    Article : 46 words
  8. THE LAY OF THE LAND.

    Mr. Surplice: Oh, Mrs. Dash, the church bazaar is not so bad; it brings the church people together." Mrs. Dash: "Mr. Surplice, after you have been ...

    Article : 60 words
  9. SCOTTY SCORED.

    A young Englishman was at a party mostly composed of Scotchmen, and though he made several attempts to crack a joke he failed to evoke a single smile from the countenances of his ...

    Article : 94 words
  10. THERE WAS SILENCE FOR A TIME

    There is a Sunday school in which the class rooms are separated by glass partitions. A new teacher was much worried by the noise of the scholars in an adjoining room. At last, unable ...

    Article : 118 words
  11. THE NIGHTMARE

    The nightmare comes to plague us when The lights are all put out; We find ourselves in need of help And try in vain to shout. ...

    Article : 78 words
  12. MY LADY SMILED

    We went to cool upon the stairs (We often do between the dances), I put on most embracing airs, And cast at her persuasive glances; ...

    Article : 95 words
  13. PAID FOR HIS CLASSICS.

    "I'll give that waiter," said Rivers, "an order that will paralyse him." "What will you have, sir?" presently asked the waiter. ...

    Article : 117 words
  14. ALWAYS ASLEEP.

    "Suppose I put on your husband's headstone the word asleep'?" "It will not be necessary; he was a policeman." ...

    Article : 29 words
  15. THE SERVANT WAS HONEST.

    "By Joye, I left my purse under my pillow." "Oh, well, your servant is honest, isn't she?" "That's just it--she'll take it to my wife." ...

    Article : 31 words
  16. THEIR REAL VICTIM.

    "Your husband seems to be a victim of the tobacco habit." "No; I'm the victim. He thoroughly enjoys it." ...

    Article : 38 words
  17. TOO RISKY.

    During the dinner hour at a certain factory not long ago there was a somewhat heated argument in progress, when one individual, who had hitherto kept silent, was appealed to for an opinion. ...

    Article : 142 words
  18. THE WORST FORM.

    Mrs. Crawford: "I suppose you suffer a great deal from your dyspepsia?" Mrs. Crabshaw: "Not half as much as I did when my husband had it." ...

    Article : 35 words
  19. QUITE ORIGINAL.

    "That is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know." Friend: "Ah! that explains it. I never saw a sunset like that in this country." ...

    Article : 34 words
  20. ECONOMY.

    Bramble: "I made a good bargain with Jones just now. I'm to let him have the exclusive use of my automobile, and he's to pay for half the repairs." ...

    Article : 32 words
  21. JUST OF AGE.

    Some few years ago an old pair had ascended the stairs for their night's rest. They had been there some time when the clock struck 12; the next minute they were startled by their bedroom ...

    Article : 126 words
  22. LAUDABLE.

    "They say Bilker has made a fortune in speculation." "And now I suppose he will get married." "No. I really think he intends to hang on to it." ...

    Article : 33 words
  23. NOW HE IS IN A QUANDARY.

    He: It is a pleasure to meet a woman who has a sense of humor." She: "But really one doesn't a sense of humor to laugh at the things you say." ...

    Article : 39 words
  24. SHE WASN'T ALLOWED IN.

    A young married woman who was visiting at an hotel with her husband, left him one morning while she went on an errand. She was not accustomed to big hotels, and when she got hack in ...

    Article : 162 words
  25. HOW HE DID IT.

    Among the many incidents characteristic of human nature is one which recently came under the observation of a young man connected with a prominent publishing house, one of the oldest in ...

    Article : 189 words
  26. A PROPER SUPPOSITION.

    "What was that animal that was half horse and half man?" "The Centaur." "Oh, yes. I suppose if he had been half donkey ...

    Article : 36 words
  27. OVER!

    It was the time of the great snowstorm of 1891. Just below Camborne, on the Great Western railway, is a lofty viaduct--at that time a wooden structure, but lately rebuilt of stone. A man ...

    Article : 165 words
  28. KNEW HIS VOCATION.

    Photographer (to young lady): "There is no need of telling you to look pleasant, miss. Such a face cannot be otherwise than pleasant." Young Lady (graciously): "I will take two ...

    Article : 38 words
  29. POOR OL MAN!

    A nervous old party in Worcester Was aroused from his sleep by a rorcester. He awoke with a snore, And, arising, he swore ...

    Article : 36 words
  30. A BOY'S REPRISAL.

    An eminent preacher had, when a boy, committed an offence for which his father decreed as [?] punishment that he should be excluded from the family table on the occasion of a festive gathering. ...

    Article : 254 words
  31. IT WAS WORTH SIXPENCE.

    Paddy had got a job to dig up a plot o[?]ground, for which he was to receive half a crown. He [?] just started his work when up comes another man and asks Paddy if there was any chance of a ...

    Article : 189 words
  32. A SECRET DIVULGED.

    "Marriage," remarked the woman of the world, brings a man out." "I guess that's right," sighed the unsophisticated woman. "Since I've been married my husband ...

    Article : 41 words
  33. BETTER VALUE.

    Among the members of a church in a rural district of Scotland was a shepherd who was known to be very outspoken. For some time past he had not been very regular in his attendance at his own ...

    Article : 168 words
  34. DISAPPOINTED

    Great Author: "Waiter, this steak is as tough as leather." Waiter: "I've always heard you was an original character, but I'm hanged if you don't jist say the ...

    Article : 40 words
  35. THE EFFECT ON HIM.

    "My wife took great pains with the salad, and I"--The dyspeptic squeezed out a sort of havemercy-upon-us grin. ...

    Article : 34 words
  36. A TIMELY WARNING.

    He: "Do you think a man ought to wear braceets?" She: "Well, if a man wants to wear bracelets I think he ought to wear them, so that everybody ...

    Article : 51 words
  37. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 17 words
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