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  2. WIT AND HUMOR.

    There is nothing like prosperity to enable a man to outgrow his friends. "What makes you think that they are engaged?" "Why, they are always quarrelling," ...

    Article : 147 words
  3. JUST SUPPOSING.

    He: Wouldn't it be jolly if some one whom we did not know were to die and leave us a hundred thousand? She: Or even fifty thousand--and some one we did know. ...

    Article : 35 words
  4. AMERICA'S NOBILITY.

    Even American democracy cannot resist pride of birth. It must have its peerage. "Matthews' American Armoury and Bluebook" is the title. Its cover is as blue as though dyed in the blood ...

    Article : 346 words
  5. WOULD GIVE IT A WAKE.

    She: Oh. Dolphie, to-morrow is the anniversary of our wedding day. Shall we celebrate it? The Brute: Yes. Got any crape? ...

    Article : 27 words
  6. OF COURSE.

    "Well, Daisy, shall we pav the house rent or give a dinner?" "Why give the dinner, of course. What good will paid up house rent do us if we lose our social position?" ...

    Article : 35 words
  7. A SISTERLY SACRIFICE.

    "I'm glad to hear you like to look after your baby brother." "Yes, I do, auntie; but he's troublesome sometimes. This morning I had to eat all the sponge cake and a jar of raspberry ...

    Article : 46 words
  8. FOR COMPANY.

    Dinny Breen, stepping over from Rathlashin to Cloehranbeg, a few perches short of the Silver-lane, met with Joc IIedican, leading his sorrel mare, and said to him. "What at all ails you?" ...

    Article : 1,468 words
  9. INTERNAL ECONOMY.

    Two years ago a Hollander swallowed a grain of wheat. Last week he was attacked with a fit of coughing, and coughed up a 50 lb. sack of flour and 100 lb. of bran. Truth is mighty, and will ...

    Article : 42 words
  10. WHERE THE BLAME LAY.

    Burton: Talk about talent! I'd have you know, sir, that I am a born planter. Stumpkins: Of course you are not to be blamed for being born a painter, but I really think you ...

    Article : 47 words
  11. ORGANISING A BANQUET.

    [?]lunger is teacher of arts and the bestower of invention," said an old Latin poet. In the kitchen, therefore, we might expect to find the truest artist, the mightiest inventor. Is this so? ...

    Article : 762 words
  12. QUITE UNLIKE.

    "Why, George, what an enormous pile of letters!" exclaimed the bride of a week. "Billetsdoux, I suppose?" "No, my dear." replied the bridegroom, "they ...

    Article : 35 words
  13. CAUTIOUS.

    "You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the lawyer. "Absolutely certain," assented the witness. "And do you swear that it is true?" ...

    Article : 43 words
  14. AN OXFORD BURLESQUE.

    We have nothing but praise for the undergraduate who has invented Miss Belinda Blinders, and set her to write a story of Oxford life. She owes to Ouida much of her "insight into human. ...

    Article : 710 words
  15. THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER.

    Wife (with a determined air): I want to see that letter. Husband: What letter? Wife: That one you just opened. I know by ...

    Article : 61 words
  16. PLEASED HIM.

    "I think we might, raise the girl's wages," said the family man. "What?" exclaimed his wife. "I set her to work cleaning the drawingroom to-day, and you ...

    Article : 59 words
  17. WHICH SHE DID.

    "George," said Mrs. Ferguson, "the people next door sent in again this morning for some"--"I haven't any time to talk about the people next door," broke in Mr. Ferguson. ...

    Article : 54 words
  18. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 1,069 words
  19. NO APOLOGY NECESSARY.

    "I congratulate you most heartily," said the near-sighted guest at the wedding, "on this happy--oh, I beg your pardon! I thought I was speaking to the bridegroom." ...

    Article : 49 words
  20. HIS ANCESTOR.

    "Didn't think I could speak, did you, eh?" said Bragg, exultantly, after his first attempt at post prandial oratory. "Well, I confess I can't imagine anything so ...

    Article : 54 words
  21. ANOTHER WASTED EFFORT.

    "Do I make myself plain?". "You do." "Could I make myself plainer?" She softly laughed. ...

    Article : 46 words
  22. UNCONSCIOUS SARCASM.

    "Charley, dear," said young Mrs. Torkins, very seriously, "I have bought you a little book as a present." "It's very kind of you." ...

    Article : 85 words
  23. SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.

    The next to consult the Christian scientist was a man with an invalid wife. "She isn't really ill." said the man. "She only imagines she is ill. I begin to doubt it drugs ...

    Article : 108 words
  24. THEIR GREAT SORROW.

    "I am so worried about baby." says the fond young mother to the proud young father. "What's the matter? He isn't ill. is he?" asked the husband, with some natural alarm. ...

    Article : 98 words
  25. THE AUTHOR OR THE SECOND IN COMMAND.

    Born fit Edinburgh in 1863, Captain Marshall was educated at St. Andrew's, the grey old city by the sea. Truth to tell, Captain Marshall, did not greatly distinguish himself at school, though ...

    Article : 304 words
  26. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 14 words
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