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  2. "A SOURCE OF INNOCENT MERRIMENT."

    "FATHER. please let me bare sixpence to give to a poor, lame man, who only has one arm." "That's right, my son, always help the ...

    Article : 49 words
  3. No title

    The Spectator: "Now then, yon, "op it, 'Ow can the gentleman paint wiv YOU all 'angin' around?" "Weekly Telegraph," London. ... [ILLUSTRATED]

    Article : 20 words
  4. EASY PAYMENTS.

    JONES: "By Jove, Hobson, you do look smart! That coat must have cost you a tenner." Hobson: "Not at all. Only five bob down, and five bob every time the tailor sees me ...

    Article : 38 words
  5. GETTIXG EVEN.

    IT was in the Spanish 'flu period, and old Oppigar lay at death's door. The priest came and told him he must forgive his enemiesOppigar promised to do so with the, single ...

    Article : 83 words
  6. WAS IT?

    LONDON "Punch" quotes the following extract from the War Trade Department under the reading. "Our Official Naturalists:" "I am instructed by the Director of the War ...

    Article : 46 words
  7. SEVENTEEN.

    "YES' grandma," said the sweet young thing, "I am to be married." "But, my dear," said Grandma earnestly, "you are, very young. Do you feel that you ...

    Article : 46 words
  8. IDENTIFIED!

    A STYLISHLY-DRESSED man went up to a railway booking-office and asked for a "seaman's return." "We only issue them to seamen," returned ...

    Article : 81 words
  9. A WARM WELCOME.

    AN old Irish woman in London was thus accosted by a gentleman:— "How is it, my good woman, that you Irish in England are not as good as when living in ...

    Article : 60 words
  10. NATURALLY!

    DOCTOR (to farmer's wife): "Your husband is not Retting on as well as be should, Mrs. Brown. Are you giving him plenty of animal food, as I told you?" ...

    Article : 56 words
  11. PROOF POSITIVE.

    THE teacher, visiting the families of her pupils, entered the garden of one of her bright hopefuls. "Good morning. Tommy!" said she. "Is ...

    Article : 41 words
  12. AMPLY FULFILLED.

    THE men in the smoking carriage talked of all sorts of things, finally reaching ambition. "Yes, gentlemen," said one, "real ambition ...

    Article : 87 words
  13. [?]AM.

    A CLEROYMAN'S Wifee was at supper with a farmer and his family who lived in the parish. "Some more 'am, father," said the son, ...

    Article : 66 words
  14. WHERE THE POINT WAS.

    THE teacher had written 92.7 on the blackboard, and to show the effect of multiplying by ten rubbed out the decimal point. She then turned to the class and said:— ...

    Article : 51 words
  15. GUESSED RIGHT.

    A FUNERAL, cortege was passing, along the Embankment recently, the coffin being covered with a mass of wreaths. "Who's being buried?" asked a "country ...

    Article : 47 words
  16. REALLY VACANT.

    A WOULD-BE M.P. had been trying to capture the Interest of his audience in vain for the last hour. At last he made a desperate bid for it. ...

    Article : 83 words
  17. DANGER.

    A YOUTH was being rated by his father for his flighty notions, his habit of shirking, and general unreliability. "Hard work never killed anybody," the old ...

    Article : 51 words
  18. PUTTING IT GENTLY.

    "LOOK here! Do you say I stole the onepound note you lost?" "No, I don't say that." "Then what do you say?" ...

    Article : 47 words
  19. THE DOZEN.

    SHE was very important, and very stout. Her jewellery was very plentiful, and, although it was a hot day, she wore her newest sables; she was choosing the most ornate tea ...

    Article : 99 words
  20. COULDN'T BE DONE!

    "MY boy," cried the old gentleman, in sorry surprise, "let me warn you in time of the terribly bad habit you are cultivating!" "Huh!" exclaimed the lad, without removing ...

    Article : 71 words
  21. MUST FIRE.

    IT was their first venture at shooting, and they were dreadfully keen. Suddenly Casey spotted a bird, and, taking careful aim, prepared to fire the fatal shot. ...

    Article : 71 words
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