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  2. THE MOST AMUSING THING EVER HEARD, OR SEEN, OR READ, OR DREAMT

    Well, the "Arrow" wants it. Write it out or cut it out. but take care that any clipping is pasted or gummed to paper—not pinned—otherwise contributors' ...

    Article : 279 words
  3. HER ACTION FOR DIVORCE.

    The [?]ner day a Chicago lady, who was taking legal proceedings to obtain a divorce went to her lawyer, and asked excitedly whether he her filed the application. ...

    Article : 104 words
  4. NOT HIS TURN.

    One night a Jewish lady woke up and found her husband laughing very heartily, so she asked him what he was laughing at. ...

    Article : 82 words
  5. RAPID TRAVELLING.

    Two Irishmen were looking over a battleship, when they happened to come across a cannon, and being eager to fire it off, proposed to do so. ...

    Article : 126 words
  6. FOR BABY'S SAKE.

    Walking down Moore-street one rainy day, I chanced to see an old man coming cut of the Savings Bank slip on the wet steps, and come a cropper on the ...

    Article : 87 words
  7. WHILE THE SUN SHINES.

    A farmer and his son had a farm up the country, but the son, having a quarrel with the old man, came to Sydney and got a job as a bootblack. ...

    Article : 53 words
  8. MUST HAVE BEEN A JOURNALIST.

    George it's nearly time you were [?] shouted the irate father from his be [?] "All right sir," replied the young man, cheerfully, as he drew the [?] ...

    Article : 70 words
  9. A GOOD NAME.

    An "Arrow" reader, the other day, was endeavoring to hook a fish worthy of the "Referee" angling prise, when a pal accosted him. The new-comer started the ...

    Article : 76 words
  10. NOT FOR HIM.

    Bridget: "Sure now, Pat, is there nothin' you could fancy?" Pat (faintly) : "Sure. It's thoughtful of yer. Bridget: Ol can smell somethin' good ...

    Article : 62 words
  11. "PRACTICAL SPIRITUALISM."

    I always had an Idea that [?] were very nervous people," said [?] in the train. "but I met a wo[?] business who was so phlegm[?] ...

    Article : 206 words
  12. THE CLERGYMAN'S MISTAKE.

    A clergyman was very anxious to introduce some new hymn-books into the church, and arranged with his clerk that the latter was to give out the notice ...

    Article : 166 words
  13. PUT YOUR FEET IN.

    At school one day a little girl, who was eating sweets, had extended her feet out into the passage instead of keeping them under her desk. ...

    Article : 63 words
  14. OUT OF THE FRYING-PAN.

    A gentleman came to his wife in great distress at a ball, having torn his pants, so she led him into the ladles' dressing-room. There he removed his pants for her ...

    Article : 107 words
  15. IRISH?—OF COURSE.

    An Irish gentleman having purchased an alarm clock, an acquaintance asked him what he intended to do with it. "Och!" answered he, "sure I've nothing ...

    Article : 49 words
  16. A BRAINY HORSE.

    Customer: "Look here! This horse you sold me last week has absolutely [?] whatever." Horse-breeder: "No: I don't breed for ...

    Article : 130 words
  17. A BIG TASK.

    During one of the principal events at a race meeting in the north, the cry of "Hats off in front!" was rained, and obeyed. ...

    Article : 105 words
  18. HIS LITTLE MARY.

    Baby Violet: "Can I come and play with your little girl. Mr. Smith?" Confirmed Bachelor: "Little girl? My dear, I have no little girl!" ...

    Article : 59 words
  19. PHONETIC.

    An itinerant showman had a large bill outside his tent, "Come aid see the great sawed fish." A gentleman who was passing read the announcement and told the ...

    Article : 144 words
  20. SHE KNEW.

    A lodger was in his room one day writing a letter to a friend. Presently his landlady stole softly in and looked over his shoulder. The lodger noticing this, wrote: ...

    Article : 70 words
  21. CAUGHT.

    He: "I love you!" "She: "But I have not a farthing!" He: "Ah! but you did not let me finish. I was going to say. 'I love you not." ...

    Article : 105 words
  22. JUST AS WELL.

    A Scotsman went to a dentist with a toothache. The dentist told hom he [?] only get relief by having it out. Then I must has gas," said the [?] ...

    Article : 95 words
  23. THE ASS.

    An eminent Judge used to say that, in his opinion, the very best thing ever said by a witness to a counsel, was the reply given to Missing, the barrister, who was ...

    Article : 131 words
  24. AFTER THE COLLECTION.

    When the contribution box came back empty, a clergyman said solemnly : "Experience may be a dear teacher, but the members of this particular flock who have ...

    Article : 67 words
  25. THE DESCENT OF MAN.

    "Speaking of dogs," Raid Smith, who had quietly seated himself in the group, "here is a story of an actual occurrence. "It happened ono day that a street car ...

    Article : 193 words
  26. A MATTER OF TASTE.

    "Here's a lolly for you, grandma,: said a little three-year-old. Her grandmother took the morsel and put it in mouth, the youngster watching ...

    Article : 92 words
  27. IT MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG.

    Some time ago a man went to visit a friend who was an inmate of a lunatic asylum. After a prolonged chat In a humorous, I! not very edifying, vein, the ...

    Article : 98 words
  28. THAT RUSH FOR THE BOAT.

    "It is always dangerous to jump at conclusions," said the careful man. "You are liable to make yourself ridiculous, to Bay the least." We have all heard of the absent-minded man, who, on leaving home one morning to match his train suddenly pulled up Imagining he had forgotten his timepiece and ...

    Article : 209 words
  29. THE CHAMPION MEAN MAN.

    Jones was known as being mean. but at had one redeeming feature—he [?] tell a [?] so to get over the difficulty when anyone asked him for a pipe of [?] ...

    Article : 130 words
  30. "RAISE ME WAGES."

    Mistress: "Oh, dear! Bridget. Smash again! Really, I do not know what to do if you go on smashing like this. It will take all your wages to pay for breakages. ...

    Article : 65 words
  31. THE LAST LAP.

    A gentleman walked into his drawing-room the other night, and was rather surprised to see his daughter sitting on a young man's lap. The young couple were ...

    Article : 99 words
  32. ABOVE SUSPICION.

    Mrs. De Brown had been very much upset by reading of the sensational tinned meat horrors, and determined that, as far as possible, she would have everything ...

    Article : 166 words
  33. WHERE THE MATTER ENDED.

    It was the blissful half-hour after [?]ner, and a group of workman were beguiling the time with an argument on some question or other. ...

    Article : 166 words
  34. RATHER MIXED.

    Two paragraphs got mixed in a newspaper—namely, a lecture by a reverend gentleman and a slight railway accident. It read as follows: The Rev. Mr. Danty ...

    Article : 134 words
  35. TWO AND TWO ARE TWENTY-TWO.

    Mr. Brief," said the Judge grimly, "It seems to me you are wasting time. You might as well attempt to make the court believe that two and two do not make ...

    Article : 104 words
  36. Advertising

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    Advertising : 10 words
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