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  2. ITS MERIT.

    "How nonsensical it was for them to say there was nothing original about your book." "You, perceived its merit,them?" said ...

    Article : 46 words
  3. THE PROGRAMME.

    "I know what you've come here for," said little Willie; "you're going to ask my sister to marry you." "Oh! Why do you think?" ...

    Article : 50 words
  4. A REAL GEM.

    Owing to the increasing scarcity of domestic servants in Canada some householders employ Chinamen. Mrs. Dash engaged Wing Chow and instructed him ...

    Article : 266 words
  5. HUMOUR. AVOIDING THE DIFFICULTY.

    "She said any man kissed her without waraning she'd scream for her father." "What did you do?" "I warned her." ...

    Article : 22 words
  6. INVESTIGATING FOR HIMSELF.

    Johny was entertaining the young man in the parlor. "Mr. Spoonamore," he asks, "how long have you been comin' to see my sister? ...

    Article : 74 words
  7. PERSEVERING POROUS PLASTER.

    "Consider the porous plaster, my so[?]," remarked the philo[?]pher, "and don't get discouraged.Everybody tur[?] his back on it yet it h[?]ugs,o[?] and [?] ...

    Article : 20 words
  8. EXPERIENCE.

    "Nostalgia must be perfectly dreadful," said Mrs. Oldcastle. "yes," replied her hostess; "I used to "[?].terrible with it, but Josiah has a ...

    Article : 42 words
  9. [?]WS [?] GO[?]

    Teache Can an [?] how it [?]as that David prev[?] the g[?]ant Goliath? pupil:My pa[?] says brute strength ...

    Article : 27 words
  10. TQO EXPENSIVE JUST NOW.

    "Have you no pride?" "No," replied the street beggar. "But I'm going ter lay in a supply when it gets a [?]rifle cheaper." ...

    Article : 43 words
  11. GOOD FOR MAN AND BEAST.

    While walking about the streets of New York city one morning the late Henry Bergh saw a teamster whipping a jibbing horse. ...

    Article : 150 words
  12. A FAILURE.

    Nell: "Why does she consider her marriage a failurep" Belle: "Well, when she threatens to [?]eave him he never seems, to raise any ...

    Article : 31 words
  13. HIS LIMIT.

    Her father: Young man, is your financial condition such as will enable you to support a family? Young Man (timidly): Why, I—er, ...

    Article : 48 words
  14. ONLY WISHING.

    Johnny: "Grandma, I wish you'd give me some cake." Mother: "Johnny! I told you not to ask your grandma for cake." ...

    Article : 35 words
  15. AWKWARD.

    Gayboy: I say, old man, she did give you the cut direct. What in the world did you say to her? Borem: Why, she asked me to take ...

    Article : 66 words
  16. AN OBJECT LESSON.

    The head clerk, the bookkeeper, and the cashier were looking out of the office window at a gang of labourers shovelling metal in the street. The boss of the gang ...

    Article : 318 words
  17. THE HEAVY BURDEN OF BOOKS.

    Mrs Crawford: "In what way is your little boy too delicate to attend the public schools?" Mrs, Crabshaw: "He isn't strong ...

    Article : 42 words
  18. A MONOPOLY.

    Once there were two boys, school mates, brought up in the same town, and always good chums. They both moved to a large city. One of the boys became ...

    Article : 147 words
  19. PRESENCE OF MIND.

    "I'm ready, shouted a pompous orator, the other night, "to meet calmly any emergency that might arise. At this moment the platform ...

    Article : 50 words
  20. THE OVERDONE PART.

    "Not bad for a beginner," said the chief architect to his apprentice, looking over the plans drawn by the latter. "But don't you think you have overdone it?" ...

    Article : 51 words
  21. A LONG GOOD-BYE.

    Guest: "Well, good-bye, old man! and you've really got a very nice little place here|" Host: "Yes, but it's rather, bare just ...

    Article : 56 words
  22. THE "ONION SOCIAL. "

    A new game, said to be very popular, is called the "Onion Social," and is played as followss. The young ladies stand in a row one of them bites a piece out of an ...

    Article : 70 words
  23. A BASHFUL BRIDE.

    William F. Thompson of San Francisco, had to prove himself a better sprinter than his prospective bride, Katherine Lynch, before she would consent to the ...

    Article : 229 words
  24. THE GOLF GERM.

    Briggs: Are you fond of golf? Griggs: Fond of it? Why, when I first began to play people asked me how I could find time to devote to it, and now ...

    Article : 48 words
  25. DIDN'T SHOW THEM.

    "He wears his heart on his sleeve," aserts the. fair damsel, who is telling about the.fihallow youth. Xe:-;:I sawthai long/ago.. That ...

    Article : 54 words
  26. NEEDED EXERCISE.

    Doctor: You seem to need exercise. What do you do for a living? Patient: I am a cannon ball tosser at the music halls. ...

    Article : 47 words
  27. SOUND ADVICE.

    A country boy was leaving his home to seek his fortune in the city, and his father, when the time came for saying good-bye, Used the opportunity to deliver ...

    Article : 87 words
  28. A BETTER SCHEME.

    The young clergyman was under the impression that there had been some criticism because he preached extemporaneously. ...

    Article : 44 words
  29. DR. WATSON'S FRIEND.

    It was with a face of consternation that Aunt Emily met us at the gate of the drive. She was accompanied by her two daughters: Dorothy;looking pale ...

    Article : 1,504 words
  30. HIS WARDROBE.

    "While walking along the street the other afternoon," said Kyrle Bellew, "I saw an actor who used to play in my company, but who has had bad Juck ...

    Article : 88 words
  31. BRUTAL.

    "My dear,"—said the young husband, "you remind me of an elephant—" "Brute [?]" exclaimed the newly-made bride who was a trif[?]e sensitive on the ...

    Article : 40 words
  32. NO FAMILY PRAYERS.

    It was at a certain church meeting, and the good Bishop was calling for reports. He had a rather stern, sharp manner, which sometimes jarred a little on ...

    Article : 290 words
  33. WHY HE DIDN'T LIKE IT.

    Snyder: Have you a camera, Mr. Dauber. Dauber (an artist, with a big "A"): Not me. ...

    Article : 59 words
  34. WAS NOT A SURE THING.

    In one of our courts the other morning a Lawyer asked: "You are absolutely certain about your statement?" ...

    Article : 45 words
  35. ON THE COURSE.

    Owner:Well, Johnny,How do you feel? Pretty fit? Jockey: I shall feel better when this 'ere race is over sir an'I can get a bit ...

    Article : 65 words
  36. NOT QUITE SO BAD.

    At the American Newspaper Publishers'dinner in New'York Creswell MacLaughlin the editor of the "School Master" at Cornwall-on-the-HudSon, told ...

    Article : 109 words
  37. THE VALUE OF APPEARANCES.

    "Which would you rather be—truly great or really smart?" "Smart, of course." "Why?" ...

    Article : 45 words
  38. THE NAME OF IT.

    Mrs, Simple Newlywed: I want you to send round a gallon of midnight oil. Grocer; Midnight oil? Never heard of it. ...

    Article : 53 words
  39. Advertising

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    Advertising : 0 words
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