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  2. SHOCKING.

    Maisie: I was sitting talking to the Earl when you passed last night. Daisie: Where were you sitting? Maisie: On the Peer. ...

    Article : 25 words
  3. A WORK OF NECESSITY.

    A minister in a rural parish in Scotland observed one of his flock shooting a hare on the Sabbath. When catechising day came round he questioned him as ...

    Article : 85 words
  4. TOO UNANIMOUS.

    "Talk about men being lords of creation. Why, I can twist that husband of mine around my little finger." "Yes, I suppose so. He's rather small, ...

    Article : 61 words
  5. HUMOUR. THE IMPORTANT ONE.

    "Did you consult the groom in fixing the date for the wedding?" "Oh, no, only the dressmaker." ...

    Article : 22 words
  6. AFTER THE HONEYMOON.

    He: There's one thing I will say you make quite as well as your mother used to make it. She: What's that, Fred? ...

    Article : 32 words
  7. ONE THING SURE.

    "Do you think Josh's inventions will work?" asked Mrs. Corntossel. "I hope so," answered her husband, "I know mighty well that Josh won't." ...

    Article : 26 words
  8. TOLSTOY'S CRUELTY.

    "Leslie's Weekly" relates this amusing incident during Tolstoy's recent visit to the Crimea. A rich American arrived in his yacht, accompanied by a party of ...

    Article : 161 words
  9. EFFECTS OF SCOTCH WHISKY.

    Gunner: "So you drank Scotch whisky at the banquet until you saw triple: —Did you hear bells ringing in your ears?" Guyer: "Worse than that—I heard ...

    Article : 33 words
  10. A DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT.

    Once when returning from session of court a famous Canadian Judge noticed an old Irish labourer, who was about to take a third-class ticket. He paid his ...

    Article : 152 words
  11. EXERCISE.

    Mrs. Knervz rang the bell for the servant. "Norah," she said, "P[?] feed the canary myself after this. The doctor says I must take more exercise." ...

    Article : 31 words
  12. READY TO PAY THE PRICE.

    Mrs. Du Bois: "I guess I can get you into society by introducing you at Mrs. Cheatem's bridge parties." Newrich: "How much will I be ...

    Article : 35 words
  13. A SECONDHAND AFFAIR.

    Mabs: I didu't accept Freddie the first time he proposed. Babs: I know you didn't. You were-n't there. ...

    Article : 27 words
  14. THE SAME EFFECT.

    A French physician has discovered that motor riding is a cure for consumption. Those who are unable to afford the motor can get the same results by lying ...

    Article : 44 words
  15. MAN'S SECOND LOVE.

    Susie: Does a man's second love generally differ from his first? Walter: Yes; she generally has more money. ...

    Article : 26 words
  16. ONE IMPROVEMENT.

    Young Doctor (with youthful misgivings): Where is our boasted progress? As many die as ever. Old Doctor: Doubtless. But it costs ...

    Article : 32 words
  17. A MERITLESS ORDER.

    "The Queen's Messenger, whose name, I think, is Winter, and who succeeded Henry Callender, told me the following story. We had agreed that it seem[?]d a ...

    Article : 232 words
  18. CLUB FINANCES.

    "But," expostulated Jones, "if you'd only pay me what you owe me I could pay Smith what I owe him." "I know it," said Robinson; "but ...

    Article : 50 words
  19. DOCTOR FORGOT HIS NAME.

    Dr. Beverly Cole, the late dean of the medical department of the University of California, at times, during the last years of his life, was troubled with a loss ...

    Article : 299 words
  20. UNKIND.

    Bride (exchanging bridal costume for travelling dress): "Did I appear nervour at all during the ceremony, Clara? Bridesmaid (enviously): "A little at ...

    Article : 36 words
  21. THE THREE FORCES.

    Teacher: Johnny, can you tell me how many different kinds of force there are? Johnny: Yes, ma'am; there are three kinds. ...

    Article : 44 words
  22. MATRIMONIAL JOYS.

    Young Mother: I can't imagine what makes the baby cry so. Young Father: I'll bet he overheard me say I managed to get a little sleep ...

    Article : 35 words
  23. TOO EXACTING.

    Registry Office Keeper: What was the matter with your last place? Domestic: The missus was too particular. ...

    Article : 42 words
  24. NOW THEY DON'T SPEAK.

    Clerinda: Young Saphead proposed to me last night. He ought to have known beforehand that I would refuse him. ...

    Article : 40 words
  25. JUST THE MAN FOR THE JOB.

    "What is it, sir?" asked the workman, who had been hailed by Mr. Crabley. "There's a piano in here that I want you to attend to," said that gentleman. ...

    Article : 60 words
  26. THE DIFFERENCE.

    "Well, what is the difference between a 'floriculturist' and a 'florist'?" "A 'floriculturist' raises flowers, while the 'florist' raises the price of flowers." ...

    Article : 25 words
  27. A GENTLE LET DOWN.

    There was an ignorant man, who once applied to President Lincoln for the post of doorkeeper to the House. This man had no right to ask Lincoln for ...

    Article : 189 words
  28. THE MASCULINE WAY.

    A pretty girl; a crowded car; "Please take my seat," and there you are. 'A crowded car; a woman plain, ...

    Article : 31 words
  29. RESIGNATION.

    Minister: So you don't think I practice what I teach, deacon? Elder: Well, considering that you have been preaching on the subject of ...

    Article : 40 words
  30. DISCOURAGING HIMSELF.

    "I'm curing myself of the tobacco [?]abit." "What are you using? One of those patent medicines that—" ...

    Article : 34 words
  31. THE LONGSHOREMAN.

    I was standing at the eastern extremity of the seawall, watching a school of perpoises rolling up the channel. An old man with white hair and a ...

    Article : 1,499 words
  32. THE REAL CONSOLATION.

    "Oh, John," exclaimed the proud mother, as her husband came wearily up the front steps, "baby is beginning to walk." ...

    Article : 41 words
  33. A PROPOSAL THAT FAILED.

    "Well, we must economise, dear. Suppose you try your hand at making your own clothes?" "Oh, George, dear, I could never do ...

    Article : 40 words
  34. THE LAST WORD.

    "I took my wife home a phonograph." "And did it please her? " "It did at first, but she finally broke it into bits." ...

    Article : 50 words
  35. THE INFERENCE.

    Giles (who has been rendering "first aid" to wrecked motor cyclist): Naw, marm, I doan't think as 'e be a married man, 'cos 'e says this be the worst thing ...

    Article : 40 words
  36. THE FIRST ESSENTIAL.

    Betty: So Maud is engaged? Well, I'm sorry for the man. She doesn't know the first thing about keeping house. ...

    Article : 50 words
  37. AFTER THE LAST ACT.

    Signor Ham: Did you see how I paralysed the audience in that death scene? By George! there wasn't a dry eye in the house. ...

    Article : 47 words
  38. SHE WAS PERSEVERING.

    His sad eyes regarded the heedless, hustling crowd that passed along in a congested throng upon the pavement. But, two labouring men detaching ...

    Article : 274 words
  39. DOMESTIC STRATEGY.

    Husband: Why do you scold the butcher? It isn't his fault that the meat comes to the table all dried up. Scold the cook. ...

    Article : 66 words
  40. COMPENSATION.

    She: Photography must be awfully disappointing—if you take a portrait and it's the least tiny bit unflattering, they hate you for ever. ...

    Article : 34 words
  41. STILL UNSETTLED.

    Fred: Were you at the wedding of young Softun and Miss Leaderer? Joe: —Yes: it was quite a swell affair. Fred: Who was the best man? ...

    Article : 49 words
  42. ADAM COULDN'T BREAK ANY.

    Rev. I. K. Funk, who has written a book on the marvels of clairvoyance, was born in Ohio, in the town of Clifton, and a Clifton man said of him recently: ...

    Article : 140 words
  43. CAUGHT.

    Ella: So Algie has been heartlessly deceived by a woman, has he? Did she lead him to think she loved him? Bella: No; that's just the trouble. ...

    Article : 59 words
  44. AN EFFECT OF AGE.

    Giles: Let me tell you, young man, that I'm eighty years old to-day, and I don't ever remember having told a lie. The Young Man: Well, you can't ...

    Article : 46 words
  45. Advertising

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    Advertising : 8 words
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