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  2. Alotsam and Jetsam.

    "Why do you seem to dislike Mr. Simpson, Mrs. Hopkins?" "Oh, he's the man who never comes to your house Without, pulling up the broken ...

    Article : 43 words
  3. [?]

    A young doctor, while walking from Newbottle to Penshaw, came up with a miner who was sitting at the road side smoking his pipe. ...

    Article : 83 words
  4. "THE TWOPENNY TUBE.

    "Hi, guv'nor, there ain't no statics named on this ticket!" "No; all our tickets are alike." "Then, 'ow do I know where I'm going?" ...

    Article : 31 words
  5. [?]E SAVE POINTS.

    I have just returned from a visit (writes my Glasgow correspondent) to one of the excellent hydros on the Clyde, and while there was told by the manager the ...

    Article : 217 words
  6. THE BEER WAR PARALYSED.

    The Manchester beer scare has spread like smallpox, and one can hardly enter a town and pick up a newspaper without finding a notice to the effect that Messrs. ...

    Article : 107 words
  7. CORRECTED !

    Assistant (after cutting off seventeen patterns): "Will there be anything more to-day, madam?" ...

    Article : 81 words
  8. HE HAD THE QUALITIES.

    A District Superintendent of Police in the Central provinces of India recently received an application from a would-be constable, who summed up his qualifications ...

    Article : 74 words
  9. KOP[?]E MAXIMS.

    Here are some of the "Kopje-book Maxims" which Rudyard Kipling contributed to the "Friend," and which are "kopje-right in all armies and standing ...

    Article : 168 words
  10. PU LVERIZED.

    There was once a contest of wit between Dr. Fuller and a gentleman with the odd name of Mr. Sparrow Hawk. Fuller could not resist the temptation to level a sarcasm ...

    Article : 72 words
  11. THE [?]

    The gathering of idlers round the stove in the American village store is a fruitful source of anecdote as many writers have shown. Few of them have utilised the ...

    Article : 380 words
  12. THE KING'S JOKE.

    The King is always ready for a joke, and can enjoy one thoroughly. It was probably the knowledge of his Majesty's bonhomie which Lord Charles Beresford ...

    Article : 149 words
  13. AN OLD COMPLAINT.

    "Can you please tell me what's the matter with my fewls?" wrote a poultryraiser to the local paper. "One by one they stagger wi[?]y and fall to rise no ...

    Article : 76 words
  14. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.-HUDIBRAS Every man is all right in his way, but a lot of them are right in the way of others. ...

    Article : 678 words
  15. GO TO THE DICKENS !

    Recently a bookseller advertised in the local papers for a porter and man-of-all work for his bookshop. There were plenty of applicants, among them a big, muscular ...

    Article : 148 words
  16. HE TOLD THE TRUTH.

    In School-street, Boston, U.S.A., writes a correspondent to a London journal, there is a cigar store with a sign hung out, "Last Cigar Store for Five Miles." ...

    Article : 95 words
  17. RINGING THE CHANGES.

    A man asked for a loaf of bread at an 1nn. When this was served he said, "Now take this back, and give me a glass of ale instead." When he had drunk the ale he ...

    Article : 106 words
  18. SHE WAS THE GHOST.

    There is one good ghost story, in Sir St. Grant Duff's latest published diaries:—"A certain lady and her family hired a place in Scotland which was haunted by the ghost ...

    Article : 210 words
  19. TRUSTS.

    "I see dey vos make more trusts mit American— salt dis times," remarked our Teutonic friend to O'Rorke. "Oi seen thot, Swatze, an' Oi'm thinkin' thot ...

    Article : 571 words
  20. SHE WAS COVETOUS.

    The other day a Gordon Highlander invited his wife to visit him at the barracks in Scotland. She did so, taking with her their six-year-old girl. When they ...

    Article : 139 words
  21. OH! THAT WIN'!

    Long since the days of old Methuselah there dwelt in a small village not a hundred miles from the ancient and classic town of Ayr a respectable man, whose ...

    Article : 320 words
  22. USED TO IT.

    City-bred station jackeroos are nothing if not "would be clever," and fond at cracking stale jokes at other people's expense. Most of their jokes are run ...

    Article : 240 words
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