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  2. Alotsam and Jetsam

    Sing me a sweet old song of love, A song of the sorrowful sea; [?]ing me a song of the turtle dove, Of the herd winding o'er the lea; ...

    Article : 116 words
  3. Safety in Flight.

    Larry was on the witness stand. "Now, witness," began the Judge, "where were you when the prisoner begin shooting into the crowd?" ...

    Article : 51 words
  4. Rapid Progress.

    Miss Vera de Muir: "Well, here we are in the conservatory, and I believe that rose bush has scratched my cheek. Will you please look and see? ... Oh, how dare you!" ...

    Article : 63 words
  5. A Sign of Relenting.

    "I guess that I'm making some headway," said the persistent lover, who is not in favour with her father. "But I thought the old gentleman kicked ...

    Article : 63 words
  6. A Tarantula of Trousers.

    It was a queer mix-up that met his fond mother's gaze as she stepped into the bedroom of her only "hopeful," to tell him that it was time to got up and hie himself to breakfast ...

    Article : 214 words
  7. A Smart Retort.

    A quiet-looking young man was walking along the street the other day, when he suddenly slipped over a piece of banana peel and fell into the gutter. ...

    Article : 64 words
  8. Why They Laughed.

    Several ladies were discussing the virtues of their husbands. Said one of them: "Mine never drinks, never swears, nor does he chew." ...

    Article : 71 words
  9. How the Fight Began.

    Rafferty: "Phwat wore it that started the foight?" Doolan: "It were this way. M'Cann wore talkin' large an' loud about his prosperity, an' ...

    Article : 54 words
  10. They Discuss Samoa.

    "It's j[?]st this way," said the carping critic in the interior. "Them three commissioners go out there, an' they git big salaries—leastways, I s'pose they do—an' they hold their job ...

    Article : 91 words
  11. A Grammatical Distinction.

    He (a suitor): "Grammarians have never been quite sure of the proper distinction between 'I shall,' and 'I will'; but to my mind there is no di[?]oulty." ...

    Article : 72 words
  12. He Was All There.

    During a village service in a church near St. [?]ves (England) an amusing incident affecting the rights of citizens to sleep in church took place. In the coarse of the sermon the ...

    Article : 113 words
  13. The civil Side.

    Talleyrand, the gra[?] French statesman, was entertaining one night. An officer, arriving late, said that he had been detained by a pequin, the French soldier's nickname for a ...

    Article : 72 words
  14. Facts and Fancies.

    A little nonsense now and than is relished by the wisest men.—HUD[?]BRAS. "There's something in that," as the plumber said when he fell off the ladder into ...

    Article : 741 words
  15. Valiant.

    Chrissie (reading letter): "'To please you [?] would penetrate the pathless forest; I would traverse broad oceans and explore the unknown regions of the earth; I would as[?]nd the ...

    Article : 95 words
  16. Reason Sufficient.

    A schoolmaster in a bush school had been in the habit of purchasing pork from parents of his pupils on the occasion of the killing of the pig. ...

    Article : 105 words
  17. A Man's Ways.

    "John," she asked, "did you get that pair of shoes for little Bessie to-day? Poor child, she will have to go to school barefooted pretty soon unless you attend to the matter." ...

    Article : 118 words
  18. The Righteous Stewart.

    A story is told in "To-Day" of a certain club that a member came in very early one morning in a state of obvious excitement. He went straight to the club steward. "Oh," he said. ...

    Article : 157 words
  19. A Golf Story.

    A story is going the rounds of a golf match between a reverend gentleman and a lawyer, both of this city. The incident occurred at the Golf Links Club during a meeting between ...

    Article : 110 words
  20. A Knowing Mother.

    Tired Woman (in a railway carriage): "Please, sir, will you please hold my baby a while? He's crying so that I can do nothing with him." ...

    Article : 112 words
  21. Ominous.

    When Julia, Mrs. Blank's maid-of-all-work, came to her mistress and "gave notice" because she was going to be married, Mrs. Blank said: ...

    Article : 131 words
  22. A Shot Soldier.

    "Of course," remarked the American newspaper man who had seen service in Cuba, "it is almost a chestnut now to talk of the nerve displayed by our wounded soldiers at Santiago. ...

    Article : 484 words
  23. An Instance.

    "I don't know whether to get mad or to laugh it off," said Smith. "My wife lately has become an enthusiastic convert to Christian Science, and she has made life a burden to me. ...

    Article : 381 words
  24. Well Treated.

    There was so much business in the big establishment that the proprietor lent a helping hand. "One of the Endeavourers?" he asked by ...

    Article : 263 words
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